Lindsay Lohan

Movie Review: InAPPropriate Comedy (2013)

There is a sketch in the comedy InAPPropriate Comedy which features a racist guy hawking free boat rides to Africa to black passerbys. Unexpectedly — or at least I hope it wasn’t planned — one guy takes offense (and rightfully so) and proceeds to beat the living crap out of said white supremacist, continuing even…

Movie Review: The Canyons (2013)

Other than maybe Alyssa Milano, I can’t name a child actor who has made it to adulthood unscathed. Thanks in part to the over sensationalized news programming’s lust for covering failures, however, I can rattle off of the names of those that have fallen along the wayside with relative ease. One of them, most famously,…

Movie Review: Scary Movie 5 (2013)

A character in the fifth installment of the “Scary Movie” franchise utters the line, “Wow, there are so many pans.” He doesn’t know the half of it, since almost every critic worth his or her salt has seemingly panned this film with wild abandon. Plotless, pointless and with little redeeming value, Scary Movie 5 will…

Movie Trailer: Scary Movie 5 (2013)

There is at least one thing worse than an unnecessary remake and that’s the unnecessary sequel. Case in point Dimension Films’ Scary Movie 5. The franchise has been unfunny for years but it carried on thanks to name recognition and Anna Faris. Well finally Anna has jumped off the trash heap and her reason is…

Movie Review: Machete (2010)

The character of Machete has been swirling around in the warped mind of Robert Rodriguez for at least nine years (he made his cinematic debut in Spy Kids, of all things!). Seemingly just an interesting bit character, things changed after monstrous buzz was received from the fake movie trailer that was patched into Grindhouse. People…

Movie Review: Georgia Rule (2007)

Chick flicks. They’re not my strong point. The old coming of age, sappy shit never played well with me. My therapist tells me it’s because I’m just not in touch with my feminine side. I tell him it’s because I’m a red-blooded American male and that he can go fuck himself. But on a lark,…

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