Giant rock creatures? A bevy of clichés? Another awful performance from Emma Watson? So this is what a biblical epic looks like in the new millennium. It’s also what Darren Aronofsky looks like with a big budget. Neither is very encouraging. Well, except for the rock monsters, of course. Aronofsky’s Noah is a non-traditional take…
Parker is the laziest movie to come down the line in a long time. It is a remake of a remake. Among other films, the director, Taylor Hackford, made “Ray,” “The Devil’s Advocate,” and “An Officer and a Gentleman.” The writer, John J. McLaughlin, wrote “Hitchcock” and “Black Swan.” Did they just want to make…
There’s nothing that makes a grown man cry like a good sports movie. It might be the love of the competition or a nostalgic recapturing of the dreams most young boys have of being a giant sports star with ultimate glory in sight. Boxing films, in particular, have been some of the most successfully tear-jerking…
Only in the movies. Only in the movies will an unemployed stammering fool be found dating a supermodel (“Transformers: Dark of the Moon“). Only in the movies will an underemployed fat guy be found dating a model and ultimately have two beautiful women fawning for him. This particular movie is Zookeeper. The fat guy is…
When you have lousy luck with the ladies, who do you seek advice from? A brother? A best friend? Griffin Keyes, the zookeeper at Franklin Park Zoo gets his tutelage from the animals he cares for. In the trailer for Zookeeper, he can be seen basking in those “making an ass of himself” moments which…
There are two unspoken rules to crafting a remake. First and foremost, classics are strictly prohibited. Secondly, if there are any trademark performances attached, it’s all the more reason not to continue onward. Jason Winer’s (T.V.’s Modern Family, Don’t Trust the Bitch in Apartment 23) Arthur breaks both amounting to nothing but another vehicle for…
As I watched Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore, a few questions came to mind. Will the children who comprise the film’s target audience understand the allusions to James Bond, Austin Powers, The Terminator, and Silence of the Lambs? Will the unfortunate adults in the audience for whom these allusions are no doubt…
