Articles by Dan Franzen

The Critical Movie Critics

For more reviews, visit Frothy Ruminations, the oldest review site you've never, ever heard of. Now in color!Remember - there's no need not to be critical. Kittens are critical of you; we should learn from them. And who doesn't love kittens? Ergo, cogit sum! QED! Whatever. I'm going to go have a kitten sandwich. Don't wait up.


Movie Review: 211 (2018)

You know how, when you draw a bath and the water’s too hot to get into, so you let it sit there for a while but when you come back it’s too cold to get into, thus rendering it kind of useless? That’s what 211 is like. It’s tepid, lifeless, waste of time (if not…

Movie Review: Last Seen in Idaho (2018)

I think it’s fair to say that Last Seen in Idaho is a well-balanced, albeit cheesy, thriller. It has a straightforward plot with the expected number of twists and it includes strong, believable, even relatable lead characters who are portrayed with an acceptable level of competence. Now, I know that sentence isn’t exactly a ringing…

Movie Review: Mr. Roosevelt (2017)

Mr. Roosevelt is a quirky comedy written, directed by and starring comedian Noël Wells (“The Incredible Jessica James”) and is about a struggling funny person who travels from Los Angeles back to her old stomping grounds in Austin, Texas when a loved one falls ill. While there, she has the misfortune of staying with her…

Movie Review: Never Let Go (2015)

Never Let Go should have been jettisoned before it even got past the pitch meeting. Borrowing from an endless supply of 80s-era Cold War thrillers, Never Let Go makes the crucial mistake of combining lame acting, a nonsense script, and boring musical choices into an utterly forgettable — if unintentionally hilarious — action movie. Angela…

Movie Review: BnB Hell (2017)

I know what you’re probably thinking. “BnB Hell — must be a terrific horror-thriller! I’m sold on the title alone!” Well, far be it from me to razz you for your terrible taste, but I insist on disabusing you of the notion that this is worth anyone’s time, let alone money. Let us delve into…

Movie Review: Good Mourning, Lucille (2014)

The premise of Good Mourning, Lucille sounds promising. A young woman searches for her twin sister’s killer by capturing on camera the actions of those closest to her. Makes you want to know more, doesn’t it? But that’s about where the intrigue ends in this somewhat hapless tale that’s weighed down by a weak cast…

Movie Review: The Shadow Effect (2017)

The dreadful The Shadow Effect, equal parts 80s action movie and 90s conspiracy thriller, is one of those movies that starts out puzzling and ends up incomprehensible. Overplotted and overacted, the movie is as subtle as a heart attack in a public library. It’s not, however, weighed down by such niceties as nuance and cleverness,…

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