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Movie Review: Fantastic Four (2005)

Movie Review:  Fantastic Four

Directed By:  Tim Story

MPAA Rating:  PG-13

Starring:  Jessica Alba, Ioan Gruffudd, Chris Evans, Michael Chiklis, Julian McMahon

IMDB Link:  Fantastic Four

Movie Trailer:  

Well, it was bound to happen again. No, I don’t mean that the sun will surely rise in the east, as it always does. I mean, another attempt has been made to bring a comic book to the silver screen.
Fantastic Four is another attempt by the movie studios to cash in on the comic book craze. Unfortunately, the one point that they miss time and again, is that no one gives a fuck about the Fantastic Four! Really! Does anyone even read that shit? They should have learned from Daredevil, Catwoman, Elektra. . .
Back to the movie. . .since it’s not all bad. Granted, I could care less about Reed Richards (the elastic guy), Sue Storm (the invisble chick), Johnny Storm (the fire guy) or Ben Grimm (the big stony fucker), but I did like how Chris Evans portrayed Johnny Storm. He embraced his powers. He simply loved having them! It was great to see a change from the; ‘how do I deal with this power’ or ‘how do I get rid of this, I want to me normal’ bullshit. I know I would go shit crazy with extraordinary powers, so it was a definate refresher to see someone embrace their powers as I would.
That’s about all that is good in this movie. I sure as hell don’t see all the hoopla over Jessica Alba (she plays Sue Storm). alts got a decent body, but I keep geting drawn to her lazy eye. Lazy eyes fuck everything up for me. Can’t get past them.
Overall, the acting is weak, the character development is rather light - am I supposed to care that Reed has commitment issues? or that Ben’s wife leaves him one day after his accident? (what a complete bitch, by the way).
Even the so-called action was a snorefest. Nothing exciting here, unless you want to play: pick out the obvious cgi effects.
Save your money for X-Men 3 or Spiderman 3. You can thank me now.


I rate this movie:
Movie Review: Four Shit Piles - Not Worth It!Movie Review: Four Shit Piles - Not Worth It!Movie Review: Four Shit Piles - Not Worth It!Movie Review: Four Shit Piles - Not Worth It!


About: General Disdain
I love long walks on the beach, candlelit dinners and I'm a sucker for women named Helga. What can I say -- I live for the finer things in life!

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  1. Hush Puppy posted a response on: August 3, 2005 | Reply

    Having just seen this movie, I have the unfortunate side effect of it being fresh in my mind. Although the movie generated the occasional smile and lit up the screen with some short lived action, it lacked any real depth of plot, acting, cinematography, on screen chemistry or pretty much anything else deemed desirable in a movie.
    The anticlimactic ending and awkward injections of various forms of ad hoc symbolism left me mostly confused. The laboriously slow start and dragging tempo of the movie only hurt its repetitive plot. The special effects were … well not so special. The nearest comparison I can draw is perhaps “Clash of the Titans” quality. Lastly, Hearing one more pun or cliche punch line by the end of the movie would have caused me to shut my player pre-maturely.
    On the plus side, the acting could definitely have been more painful, and there was some fun banter between the Human Torch and The Thing. All in all, I’ve been more disappointed in a movie. And unlike others who would have felt like “I deserved my money back and compensation for my wasted time”, I would have felt fully satisfied with just the compensation for my wasted time.
    I rate this movie C.

  2. Govard posted a response on: March 25, 2008 | Reply

    Cool movie! Jess is the best.. I Love you!!!

 

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