Author Archive

Movie Review: The House Bunny (2008) »

Playboy Bunny Shelly Darlingson (Anna Faris) lives a pampered life along with her fellow Bunnies at the Playboy Mansion. The day after her twenty-seventh birthday, her life crumbles when she receives a letter from Hugh Hefner telling her to vacate the Playboy Mansion immediately (apparently 27 is the auto-retirement age for Bunnies). Devastated, she is [...]

Movie Review: Man on Wire (2008) »

French tight rope walker Philippe Petit is a renegade. In acts of defiance, he’s walked across culturally important structures all over the world. His rogue behavior captured the admiration of those who witnessed it, while damaging the relationships with those people he involved in his schemes. In 1974, he set his eyes on the ultimate [...]

Movie Review: Tropic Thunder (2008) »

Tropic Thunder is a movie about making a movie by not making a movie (or something like that). Director Damien Cockburn (Steve Coogan) assembles himself a “star studded” cast of actors to grace his latest war movie. Tugg Speedman (Ben Stiller) is the group’s has-been action hero in search of a hit, Kirk Lazarus (Robert [...]

Movie Review: Pineapple Express (2008) »

Pineapple Express is a comedy that could best be defined as having the combined styles of stoners Cheech and Chong and badass action guys Jackie Chan and Steven Seagal. This action filled buddy flick is hampered by a slow start and cheap jokes but is graced with a brilliant luster that can sometimes sparkle very [...]

Movie Review: Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008) »

A demon, code named Hellboy (Ron Perlman), but called Red by his friends, is saved by paranormal investigators when he is very small and raised to be a defender against the forces of darkness. However, as he has grown into a large, bright red mammoth with an attitude, he wants nothing more than to be [...]

Movie Review: WALL-E (2008) »

WALL-E is the latest in the line of stellar features from the powerhouse Pixar. It is a romantic story of a small, lonely garbage cleaning robot that finds his purpose is greater than simply gathering trash into piles. Beautiful, charming and with an important message interwoven, WALL-E is flawless. When the people of earth cover [...]

Movie Review: Hancock (2008) »

Hancock is Los Angeles’ resident alcohol-fueled, low-flying sometimes hero. With all the exciting aspects of an action movie, sparkling comedy and a heartfelt plot, this is the most honest super hero movie I’ve ever seen. When not drunk, John Hancock (Will Smith) flies around Los Angeles, protecting innocent people from criminals and disaster. The rest [...]

Movie Review: Get Smart (2008) »

Get Smart is a simplistic spy guy tale of good vs. evil and smart vs. dumb that tries to capture the allure of the 60′s television show Get Smart. Sadly, this cinematic upgrade should have followed its titular advice when it came to the writing, the acting and the action. After overcoming personal obstacles, Maxwell [...]

Movie Review: Kung Fu Panda (2008) »

Po (voiced by Jack Black), a clumsy panda and the son of a noodle vendor, dreams of becoming a great kung fu fighter and meeting “The Ferocious Furious Five”. This team of kung fu masters is comprised of Tigress (voiced by Angelina Jolie), Monkey (voiced by Jackie Chan), Mantis (voiced by Seth Rogen), Viper (voiced [...]

Movie Review: Sex and the City (2008) »

This travesty of character and plot development obliterates any chance I would or could call Sex and the City a film instead of a TV movie with really good distribution. Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker) spends the entire TV movie trying to get married to Big (Chris Noth). Miranda (Cynthia Nixon) spends the entire TV movie [...]

Movie Review: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008) »

Can you believe its been 19 years since Indiana Jones graced (used loosely) the silver screen? In this latest installment of the storied franchise, which in my point of view is 18 year overdue, archeology professor and all around bad ass, Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford) is accused of treason when his friend Mac (Ray Winstone) [...]

Movie Review: Speed Racer (2008) »

My husband and I have been playing a free race car game called TrackMania and we’ve become addicted. You fly off ramps, go upside down and avoid obstacles. It is fun because it is just realistic enough to be believable but novel enough to be fun. Movies have to find that same mix of novelty [...]

Movie Review: Iron Man (2008) »

Like the wise one says, “Necessity is the mother of invention” and Tony Stark’s mother birthed the crude chrysalis of Iron Man in a cave in Afghanistan. While demonstrating the Jericho Missile, spoiled, womanizing, arrogant weapons manufacturer and brilliant engineer Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) is kidnapped by the Ten Rings terrorist group led by [...]

Movie Review: The Forbidden Kingdom (2008) »

Set in ancient China, The Forbidden Kingdom is a mix of cinematic influences. It stops short of tiresome and of brilliance. It is quality cheese. Nerdy Kung-Fu enthusiast Jason Tripitikas (Michael Angarano) spends enough time at the local video store to get chummy with the owner Old Hop (Jackie Chan). When Old Hop is attacked, [...]

Movie Review: Flawless (2007) »

High-heeled shoes and cigarettes are the stars of the diamond heist snoozer Flawless. Cigarette’s performance is smokin’ but it couldn’t save the movie from its ridiculously illogical and uneven script or from the likes of the other performances. Flawless? — there couldn’t be a worse name for this movie. London Diamond Company owns the diamond [...]

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  • Grading Scale

    Movie is a massive heap of shit
    Stay Away

    Movie is a pile of shit
    Don't Bother

    Movie is shitty
    Seen Better

    Movie is getting shitty
    Not Bad

    Movie is not so shitty
    See It




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