Movie Review: Hide and Seek (2005)

Hide and Seek (2005) by The Critical Movie Critics
Movie review of Hide and Seek (2005) by The Critical Movie Critics
Movie review of Hide and Seek (2005) by The Critical Movie Critics

Length: 101 minutes
 
IMDb URL: Hide and Seek
 
Trailer URL: Trailer
 
Release Date: US: July 5, 2005 | UK: February 25, 2005
 
Genre(s): , ,

MPAA Rating:

Director(s):

Actor(s): , , , ,

Writer(s):

Producer(s):

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Posted February 20, 2005 by
Hide and Seek (2005) by The Critical Movie Critics

“Hi . . . I’m Bobby De Niro!”

The basic premise of the movie: a family man takes his daughter from their city home where a tragedy had occurred, to a country cottage where all hell breaks loose.

Hide and Seek has a great cast so I expected good things. Robert DeNiro still has some acting left in him. Dakota Fanning is an accomplished child actor with a strong road ahead of her. Elisabeth Shue and Famke Janssen still both look damn good.

The movie starts off well with good character introductions and initial layout of the plot. Of course this plot has been played so many times there isn’t much originality left to it . . .

Anyways, the movie follows the typical ‘shock and awe’ campaign that other suspense movies take. A father trying to protect his child who is a frightened girl, an uninvited invisible friend — the movie takes us from one seemingly shocking moment to the next without any real bang. After the first instance, we get the idea that someone or something is writing on the walls and that they aren’t pleased with the current situation. Ho hum.

Now here is where the shit really hits the fan. The writers of Hide and Seek suddenly realized that they needed to come up with a tricky ending so they threw some shitty ideas against a wall and saw what stuck. The ending is so implausible and quite frankly stupid that I was physically angered. How do can they put out a promising movie and just hack the ending and expect the audience to be pleased about it? How fucking stupid does Hollywood think we are? Obviously, they think we’re all a bunch of assholes. That’s why they continually churn this crap out.

As stated above, Hide and Seek could have been good. Good cast and a good storyline (even if it has been done before). But the ending killed it. Totally fucked it. Don’t watch this movie unless you feel like wasting two hours of your life and $10.

Critical Movie Critics Rating: 2 Star Rating: Bad

General Disdain

- The Critical Movie Critics

I'm an old, miserable fart set in his ways. Some of the things that bring a smile to my face are (in no particular order): Teenage back acne, the rain on my face, long walks on the beach and redneck women named Francis. Oh yeah, I like to watch and criticize movies.

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