Fast & Furious 6 (2013) by The Critical Movie Critics

Movie Review: Fast & Furious 6 (2013)


Fast & Furious 6 (2013) by The Critical Movie Critics

In unity, strength.

There are two utterly useless facts I learned during my viewing of Fast & Furious 6. One, even in the tiniest of roles, the lack of perceivable acting talent in Paul Walker and Jordana Brewster’s bones can ruin a film, even one as poorly conceived as this. It is this franchise, and this franchise alone, that keeps a few nickels in pockets of these two unnecessarily (I’d add Vin Diesel as a third but he has “Riddick” helping to pay his bills). Two, a military base in Spain houses little to no capable military personnel and it has the longest runway on Earth, spanning at least 20 miles. The length it turns out is necessary, assuming you make it to the end of this chapter of what was once a movie about street racing culture and petty thieves.

Now rich beyond their wildest dreams (see “Fast Five” for the how), the crew — Dominic (Diesel), Brian (Walker), Han (Sung Kang, “Bullet to the Head”), Roman (Tyrese Gibson), Tej (Ludacris), Gisele (Gal Gadot) — are globetrotting, acting like pompous playboys or in the case of Mia (Brewster) and Brian they’re starting a family. The one thing they aren’t doing is going anywhere near the US as the big arm of the law, personified by a massive Dwayne Johnson, still wants a piece of their hide.

Ah, but as luck would have it (or a super simple script that ensured it) there is another car enthusiast bad-ass mercenary guy (Luke Evans, “The Three Musketeers”) with a gang of hot-rodders who are knocking off military convoys (with amazing ease, I might add) in the bulls-eye of Agent Hobbs (Johnson, “Pain & Gain”). So instead of running in the still wearing a guinea-tee Dom for past transgressions, Hobbs solicits his help. After all, it makes perfect sense that an agent with every possible resource at his fingertips would need the help of an above average grease monkey, right?

Fast & Furious 6 (2013) by The Critical Movie Critics

“I can fly!!”

The build-up is slow going, but once Fast & Furious 6 picks up steam somewhere around the midpoint, it mostly delivers in the action department. The franchise is built around car racing and/or car chases — and this being director Justin Lin’s fourth go at it — so what’s offered up is very fluid and well-choreographed. Personally, I’d have liked to see more of them, although I must admit, the inclusion of a tank in one and a cargo plane in another definitely made what’s on screen all the more interesting. There is also no shortage of fisticuffs. Both bruisers — Diesel and Johnson — lay thunderous hits on whomever stands before them and even Walker gets to deliver some justice during an unneeded fact finding mission. The best, however, goes to the chick fights which involve Michelle Rodriguez (“Resident Evil: Retribution”), who returns as Letty, and MMA champ Gina Carano (“Haywire”) who plays Riley, Hobbs’ second fiddle. There is just something mesmerizing about girls who can handle their stuff.

But this little bit of good can’t brush aside the many, many inconsistencies and absurdities in the plot, nor the outrageous physics defying stunts that even Superman would be in awe of. The powers that be have done an impressive job recreating the series into an action franchise; Fast & Furious 6 shows that they’ve still got a ways to go to solidify it as something other than an also-ran.

Critical Movie Critic Rating:
2 Star Rating: Bad

2

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The Critical Movie Critics

I’m an old, miserable fart set in his ways. Some of the things that bring a smile to my face are (in no particular order): Teenage back acne, the rain on my face, long walks on the beach and redneck women named Francis. Oh yeah, I like to watch and criticize movies.


'Movie Review: Fast & Furious 6 (2013)' have 17 comments

  1. The Critical Movie Critics

    May 23, 2013 @ 4:01 pm Zack

    Why stop with Brewster and Walker? There isn’t a single person in this cast that can act. This series is a joke that somehow continues …

    Reply

  2. The Critical Movie Critics

    May 23, 2013 @ 4:29 pm stimpy

    stunts look sick

    Reply

  3. The Critical Movie Critics

    May 23, 2013 @ 4:44 pm Sean

    A stupid good time. Need one of these quarterly to clear the brain of stresses.

    Reply

  4. The Critical Movie Critics

    May 23, 2013 @ 5:36 pm BC Glasswell

    It was tough to watch the cast maul their lines but the action more than makes up for it. I could watch that tank battle all day long and not get bored of it.

    Reply

  5. The Critical Movie Critics

    May 23, 2013 @ 6:02 pm John Swina

    Holy hell, they made number 6?

    Reply

    • The Critical Movie Critics

      May 24, 2013 @ 8:55 am Gspot

      You’ll be pleased to know the 7th is already in production.

      Reply

  6. The Critical Movie Critics

    May 23, 2013 @ 6:48 pm Mitch

    Perfect summer movie for the kids. Young boys are sure to love it for the adrenaline rush and young girls are sure to like it for the beefcakes.

    Reply

  7. The Critical Movie Critics

    May 23, 2013 @ 7:34 pm Fat-Man

    The first F&F has the best racing of the flix, the fifth has the best action. This one falls somewhere in the middle of the pack.

    Reply

    • The Critical Movie Critics

      May 23, 2013 @ 10:18 pm Bowsome

      Tokyo Drift has the best racing of the series.

      Reply

      • The Critical Movie Critics

        May 24, 2013 @ 3:16 pm MidnightNacho

        You don’t like Tokyo Drift because it has the best racing – you like Tokyo Drift because for every second of screen time there are smoking hot Japanese girls primping and prancing around in the skimpiest of clothing.

        Reply

  8. The Critical Movie Critics

    May 24, 2013 @ 11:20 am Mihret

    Looks like a good action movie.

    Reply

  9. The Critical Movie Critics

    May 24, 2013 @ 1:33 pm Spazzert

    So Dom’s gang has become a team of superheroes now? They defy physics, they’re impervious to external stimuli, each has an mastered ability…

    Reply

    • The Critical Movie Critics

      May 24, 2013 @ 6:30 pm Van

      Even better, Dominic has been elevated to Jesus and his crew have become Disciples.

      Reply

  10. The Critical Movie Critics

    May 24, 2013 @ 3:56 pm jjHorm

    I get the impression the reviewer is biased in this review. He never wanted to like it….

    Reply

  11. The Critical Movie Critics

    May 26, 2013 @ 12:51 pm fabricio

    is fun i like it alot

    Reply

  12. The Critical Movie Critics

    December 6, 2013 @ 7:02 pm FreeLay

    RIP Paul Walker

    Reply


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