I tend to get my guard up whenever I go into the theater to see a movie like The Kingdom. I always expect an overdose of political activism or some other jaded point of view that the writer and/or director wants to stuff down my throat. This, I believe, is the second such movie that [...]

I have to confess that until now, I’ve had the pleasure of avoiding this whole Resident Evil business; I haven’t seen either of the previous two films (Resident Evil and Resident Evil: Apocalypse) or played much of the Capcom games which, I gather, are only tangentially related to the premise at this point. So, my [...]

Damn, my ass hurts. A lot. No it’s not from sitting in an uncomfortable seat at the theater for 96 minutes to watch Good Luck Chuck. It’s from being raped repeatedly by those who would release a hunk of shit movie like this and disguise it as an off-the-cuff romantic-comedy. That’s right, Good Luck Chuck [...]

Lying, it’s the way of the world. You’ve got to be good at it if you’re going to succeed in today’s society (sorry God). Children lie to their parents if they think it will get them out of trouble. How many times has little Johnny pointed the finger at his younger brother for breaking something? [...]

You’ll have excuse when I say I don’t get my hopes up when I go to see comedies starring members of the Saturday Night Live cast. Too often the movie is beyond stupid and they always try way too hard to be funny (case in point, Hot Rod). So sucking it up in the name [...]

When it comes to Jodie Foster, I’m not one to run to catch the opening show, and Terrence Howard isn’t exactly a Will Smith, but The Brave One turned out just fine. This is an interesting spin on the old street vigilante concept. By the very nature of the material, this qualifies as pulp-fiction melodrama, [...]

Everyone has had a teacher or two they hated. Mine was the high school gym teacher, Mr. Hastings. He was a hairy, squat man with rotten teeth and breath that could melt a steel I-beam. He had no idea what the hell he was doing, so he’d just make the class do mundane exercises while [...]

Westerns rule. They’re one of the best and easiest types of movies to make. They’ve got the best villains available. They’ve got heroes everyone can relate to and cheer for. Usually, they’ve got beautiful, strong willed women whose support and love aid the family unit in its time of need. And of course, Westerns have [...]

Sometimes movies look so much better on paper and storyboards rather than on an actual reel of film. Such is the case with Shoot ‘Em Up. It is every writer’s wet dream, a movie light on plot, dialogue and substance; heavy on nonstop action, including incredible gun and knife fights, car chases, aerial battles and [...]

Question. Why does Hollywood think all the rural and desolate areas in the southern United States are filled with inbred, whacky rednecks who want to cause harm to the rest of society? I’ve met thousdands of southerners, many of whom I figured were the accidental offspring of close relatives (I used to work for NASCAR) [...]

While watching Fair Game, I noticed how poor of an actress Cindy Crawford was. She looked fantastic, but couldn’t act her way out of a wet paper bag. This set my analytical mind into motion and I immediately set upon creating a list of beautiful models who became successful actresses. Undoubtedly, this will lead to [...]

We’ve all said it before, more so after we’ve established a family of our own. God forbid, if something were to happen to someone we love, we’d kill the bastards responsible. We’d hunt them down like a prey animal and first do unimaginable things to them for the pain they’ve caused us. Then when their [...]

Usually parody films are a successful endeavor (the original Scary Movie and Not Another Teen Movie are examples) because they’re easy to make. For the most part the story is already constructed, so all the writers have to do is come up with funny filler material and their off to the races. Coupling that with [...]