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Movie Review: Get Smart (2008) »

Get Smart is a simplistic spy guy tale of good vs. evil and smart vs. dumb that tries to capture the allure of the 60’s television show Get Smart. Sadly, this cinematic upgrade should have followed its titular advice when it came to the writing, the acting and the action.
After overcoming personal obstacles, Maxwell […]

Movie Review: Street Kings (2008) »

Whoever said Keanu Reeves was a one trick pony (think Matrix trilogy) or very possibly one of the very worst actors of our time, please stand up. After I watched the wannabe cop-thriller Street Kings (I was hoping for a Training Day type of flick), I want to shake your hands. Clearly, Mr. […]

Movie Review: Flawless (2007) »

Given the choice between watching this movie again or have sandpaper repeatedly drug through my anal cavity, I’d gladly bend over.

Movie Review: In Bruges (2008) »

Wow. That one word is all that is truly needed to complete a movie review of In Bruges, the movie from novice writer and director Martin McDonagh (his short film Six Shooter discounted). The reason for the high praise is simple, he’s taken his cues from Quentin Tarantino (Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction) […]

Movie Review: Untraceable (2008) »

With the ongoing success of the Saw and the Hostel franchises, it was only a matter of time before the “torture-porn” phenomenon tried to weasel its way into a mainstream movie. Hollywood, in its infinite wisdom, has decided to take what was a horror-boys fantasy and legitimize it by throwing an established actress like […]

Movie Review: Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead (2007) »

I’m going to cut right to the point — any movie that starts with Marisa Tomei taking it doggy-style is more than okay in my book. I have no clue what switch director Sidney Lumet flicked to get her to sacrifice in such a way for her craft (probably the same one Marc Forster […]

Movie Review: Jack Ketchum’s The Girl Next Door (2007) »

There aren’t many movies that I’ve seen that have made me want to turn away or jump through the screen to change the outcome. I knew after reading the synopsis of Jack Ketchum’s The Girl Next Door, this was going to be one of those films – after all, nothing spells heartbreak and brutality […]

Movie Review: Hitman (2007) »

Here we go again. Even though the old video game to movie adaption has played itself out some time ago, it has reared it’s ugly head above the surface once more to take a stab at our wallets and pocketbooks. No I’m not talking about a fourth Resident Evil (although I’m certain one […]

Movie Review: No Country for Old Men (2007) »

It’s that Oscar time of year again when compelling movies get released late so they can remain in the heads of the Academy voters easier. The latest up to bat is No Country For Old Men. It’s the highly anticipated film by none other than Joel and Ethan Coen (better known as the […]

Movie Review: Saw IV (2007) »

Ever get the sneaky suspicion that someone does something with less than admirable intentions? That’s what I felt when I sat down to watch and review Saw IV. After all, since the original Saw was released in 2004, Lionsgate has bankrolled sequels every year, each film still remarkably making a healthy profit while […]

Movie Review: American Gangster (2007) »

I think it is a safe statement to say that most people, like myself, appreciate a movie that depicts a person or persons rising to the top of the food chain by perseverance, hard work and some smarts, even if their profession is less than honorable. Ridley Scott (best known for Black Hawk Down […]

Movie Review: We Own the Night (2007) »

No year could be considered complete without the obligatory cop-family/friend drama, cast with seasoned actors. We Own the Night, takes the spot this year and is Sony Pictures late push for an Oscar bid.
It stars Joaquin Phoenix as Bobby Green, the manager of a Russian mob owned hot spot, El Caribe. He also […]

Movie Review: Eastern Promises (2007) »

I’ve gotten so used to watching great mob movies depicting ruthless Italians (Goodfellas and The Godfather), that I’ve forgotten other cultures have their own organized crime syndicates too. The Chinese and Japanese have some mean people doing some very bad things. So do the Columbians. But the cake has to go to […]

Movie Review: The Brave One (2007) »

When it comes to Jodie Foster, I’m not one to run to catch the opening show, and Terrence Howard isn’t exactly a Will Smith, but The Brave One turned out just fine. This is an interesting spin on the old street vigilante concept. By the very nature of the material, this qualifies as pulp-fiction melodrama, […]

Movie Review: Rush Hour 3 (2007) »

This is definitely the year of trilogies. Spider-Man 3, Shrek the Third and Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End started the summer season off. Now Rush Hour 3 hits the silver screen and I must say, I’m a bit surprised by this release — after all it’s been six years since Rush […]

Movie Review: Ocean’s Thirteen (2007) »

Lo and behold! Another third installment has hit the theaters! I barely recollect that there was an Ocean’s Eleven or that a sequel Ocean’s Twelve was made. So you can imagine my surprise when I’m suddenly smacked in the face by Ocean’s Thirteen. So here’s to hoping I can enjoy this […]

Movie Review: Mr. Brooks (2007) »

It’s been a long time, 16 years to be precise, since the high water mark was set so high by The Silence of the Lambs for serial killer thrillers. And in those 16 years, there has yet to be a movie that even comes close to surpassing it. So it is fair […]

Movie Review: Reno 911!: Miami (2007) »

I’ve finally gotten around to watching the Reno 911!: Miami screener that’s been sitting on a bookshelf for the past couple of months. I’d been meaning to watch it for the longest time, yet time after time that little thing called responsibility kept creeping in. Screw the lawn. To hell with the […]

Movie Review: Hot Fuzz (2007) »

Hot Fuzz is the highly anticipated movie from the team (Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg) that created Shaun of the Dead. Whereas Shaun twisted and made light of the zombie genre, Hot Fuzz pokes fun at the cop buddy movie made so famous by movies like Lethal Weapon and Rush Hour. All I […]

Movie Review: Perfect Stranger (2007) »

It was bound to happen. Halle Berry and Bruce Willis were at some point in time going to cross paths in a movie again. The last time it happened was in the lackluster The Last Boy Scout way back in 1991 when both were rising stars. Now in their prime (some may […]

Movie Review: Outlaw (2007) »

To be perfectly honest, there was no rhyme or reason as to why I decided to watch this movie. It has little to no fanfare, no actors I particularly like and it’s British. The last British movie I enjoyed was the classic from 2004, Shaun of the Dead. Before that, I can’t […]

Movie Review: Breach (2007) »

I remember almost like it was yesterday when the news flashed that a traitor to the United States, Robert Hanssen, was caught selling classified secrets to the USSR/Russia. I recall thinking, “why did it take so long to catch this scumbag” and “why would someone sell their country out?”. And what do you […]

Movie Review: Zodiac (2007) »

I was fortunate enough to get couple of tickets to go watch this movie on a saturday night. I saw the trailer of this movie a few months ago and was very excited to see this one because of the director and the cast. Well it seemed that all that build up was for nothing, I was […]

Movie Review: The Number 23 (2007) »

It’s been awhile since I’ve seen my favorite guy with a rubber face, Jim Carrey. He’s been keeping a low profile all the while tapping the ass of that hottie Jenny McCarthy. Lucky fucker. So as I was saying before I began salivating over McCarthy’s pristine ass like Pavlov’s dog, it is […]

Movie Review: Smokin’ Aces (2007) »

We’ve all seen the trailers for Smokin’ Aces for the past week or so, depicted a wild movie in which the world’s best contract killers are all gunning for $1,000,000 for killing a mob informant Buddy ‘Aces’ Israel (Jeremy Piven). Who wouldn’t we intrigued by a movie that seems to promise a mile-a-minute rollercoaster […]

Movie Review: The Hitcher (2007) »

I’m going to begin this review by saying I’m no fan of remakes. To often they reek of shit and mean people are out of fresh ideas. However, due to a boring Saturday night, I decided against my better judgement and sat to watch The Hitcher. I hate myself for it.
Let me […]

Movie Review: Alpha Dog (2006) »

Ahhh . . . a true life crime drama starring Justin Timberlake! It’s gotta be good, right? Surpisingly, the answer is yes!
Alpha Dog is the true story of some wannabe, suburban gangsters who party their asses off, don’t have a care in the world and get themselves caught up in a kidnapping gone […]

Movie Review: Miami Vice (2006) »

Here we go again. Hollywood has once again decided to take a cheesy, campy 80’s TV show and upgrade it to the big screen. This time it isn’t The Dukes of Hazzard, The Beverly Hillbillies or Bewitched; it’s Miami Vice. And instead of Don Johnson and Philip Michael Thomas as Crockett and […]

Movie Review: Four Brothers (2005) »

Just what the doctor ordered. A good ‘ole street-banging action flick by none other than John Singleton(whatever happened to him after Boyz n the Hood?). Four Brothers chronicles the actions of 4 adopted boys who seek to exact revenge on the people who killed their adoptive mother. . .a slight twist to the […]

Movie Review: Sin City (2005) »

Wow. Another comic book…err, I mean graphic novel to movie adaptation. Which one am I talking about now? Sin City of course. An obscure graphic novel by the man who single-handedly made Batman cool again - Frank Miller. Although, most of the latest comics to movies have sucked ass (see Electra, […]

Movie Review: Hostage (2005) »

Let’s begin by saying I like Bruce Willis. Always have. Any man that bagged Demi Moore, is alright in my book. So I looked forward to checking out his latest movie Hostage. How can Hollywood screw up a movie that seems so similar to one of the greats: Die Hard?
Movie starts […]

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  • Grading Scale

    Movie is a massive heap of shit
    Stay Away

    Movie is a pile of shit
    Don't Bother

    Movie is shitty
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    Movie is getting shitty
    Not Bad

    Movie is not so shitty
    See It

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