General note to all before reading this movie review: if you can’t leave your reasoning and common sense behind, stop reading – Wanted is not for you. For everyone else, continue reading – an entertainment guarantee awaits.
Wanted is the story of a young account manager named Wesley Gibson (James McAvoy) who is suffering […]

Idea. Let’s pitch a movie about some unexplainable occurrence that causes people to inexplicably kill themselves. Then M. Night Shyamalan can direct it so people will invariably think there is a monumental twist at the end. And to make it even more eerie and intriguing let’s name it The Happening.
There you have, […]

I consider myself a very big horror buff, and many of my favorite movies are in the horror genre. Horror does something that no other types of movies can do – when they’re done right, they can make you feel for the characters that are being put through such emotions like fear and agonizing pain. […]

Like the wise one says, “Necessity is the mother of invention” and Tony Stark’s mother birthed the crude chrysalis of Iron Man in a cave in Afghanistan. While demonstrating the Jericho Missile, spoiled, womanizing, arrogant weapons manufacturer and brilliant engineer Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) is kidnapped by the Ten Rings terrorist group led […]

Whoever said Keanu Reeves was a one trick pony (think Matrix trilogy) or very possibly one of the very worst actors of our time, please stand up. After I watched the wannabe cop-thriller Street Kings (I was hoping for a Training Day type of flick), I want to shake your hands. Clearly, Mr. […]

If you want a heist movie with class, you cast George Clooney and Brad Pitt and make a film along the lines of Ocean’s Thirteen (or any of the preceding ones). When you want a gritty, seedy heist movie, you hire the new action kid on the block, Jason Statham and end up with […]

Eight strangers, eight points of view and each one holds a piece of the puzzle. I saw the trailer for Vantage Point, and thought it had some neatly packed scenes that deserved my attention (even though I’m not a fan of gimmick movies). So I walked into the theater to surrender myself to the joys […]

The Signal is a limited release horror movie that I had very high expectations for ever since I saw a trailer for it last year. It is directed by three different people (David Bruckner, Dan Bush and Jacob Gentry), who each do a separate segment of the story. This movie is absolutely fantastic and by […]

On the surface Jumper looks like a movie I’ve been longing for – an action movie that has a character that actually embraces his or her extraordinary talent and uses it in a realistic manner (i.e., not like a superhero). Of course after seeing the movie, it doesn’t quite live up to my expectations.
The […]

Due to my extremely short attention span, I’m guessing the Hollywood raid into the Japanese horror genre started with The Ring. Next on the borrow list was The Grudge. The success of these movies inspired several uninspiring sequels and in 2008, two – yes, two – brand-spanking new copies hit the theaters: One […]

With the ongoing success of the Saw and the Hostel franchises, it was only a matter of time before the “torture-porn” phenomenon tried to weasel its way into a mainstream movie. Hollywood, in its infinite wisdom, has decided to take what was a horror-boys fantasy and legitimize it by throwing an established actress like […]

Holy viral marketing campaign, Batman. Cloverfield, the latest production from J.J. Abrams (best known for Lost and Alias), may be the most hyped movie of the decade. It was pure genius – the whole country had vivid images of the Statue of Liberty’s head rolling down the Avenue of the Americas for weeks prior […]

Hey all, my name is Mike but my handle around these parts will be Phntmbanana. I got a chance to take a look at Rambo the new Stallone flick, and it was certainly a view to behold. It pushed the boundaries of violence in movies to a point I have never seen before, and I […]

I’ve broken a cardinal rule. I watched The Ungodly based solely on the fact it had a cool sounding title. The name conjured up thoughts of pure, unadulterated evil and in the current shitty mood I’m in, it seemed like a perfect way to embrace my aggravation. But, I’ve been around long […]

I’m going to cut right to the point — any movie that starts with Marisa Tomei taking it doggy-style is more than okay in my book. I have no clue what switch director Sidney Lumet flicked to get her to sacrifice in such a way for her craft (probably the same one Marc Forster […]

The Hollywood remake. Love ‘em or hate ‘em, they’re a steady part of our cinema diet. I Am Legend proves once again that Hollywood believes the easiest path to success is to either: make a sequel or take a movie from years past and dress it up with an updated storyline and fresh graphics. […]

I figured before I sat down to watch the most hyped films of the winter, I’d schedule in one more low-budget, limited release flick. This film made its debut at the After Dark Horror Fest earlier this year and duly disappeared again. That’s a shame because the individuals I spoke with who attended […]

There aren’t many movies that I’ve seen that have made me want to turn away or jump through the screen to change the outcome. I knew after reading the synopsis of Jack Ketchum’s The Girl Next Door, this was going to be one of those films – after all, nothing spells heartbreak and brutality […]

Here we go again. Even though the old video game to movie adaption has played itself out some time ago, it has reared it’s ugly head above the surface once more to take a stab at our wallets and pocketbooks. No I’m not talking about a fourth Resident Evil (although I’m certain one […]

It’s that Oscar time of year again when compelling movies get released late so they can remain in the heads of the Academy voters easier. The latest up to bat is No Country For Old Men. It’s the highly anticipated film by none other than Joel and Ethan Coen (better known as the […]

Sadly, I missed P1 when it was released last year. But seeing as it was such a good horror movie, Summit Entertainment has been good enough to bring P2 to the theaters. Yes, I’m kidding. There was no film titled P1 that I am aware of and aside from a single advertisement […]

I went into seeing Lions for Lambs ready for a hearty dose of left-wing propaganda. Statements like “George W. Bush is a terrible president”, “we must find an exit strategy in Iraq since the war is going so poorly” and “the entire Republican party is a bunch of crooks and miscreants” were swirling through […]

Ever get the sneaky suspicion that someone does something with less than admirable intentions? That’s what I felt when I sat down to watch and review Saw IV. After all, since the original Saw was released in 2004, Lionsgate has bankrolled sequels every year, each film still remarkably making a healthy profit while […]

I think it is a safe statement to say that most people, like myself, appreciate a movie that depicts a person or persons rising to the top of the food chain by perseverance, hard work and some smarts, even if their profession is less than honorable. Ridley Scott (best known for Black Hawk Down […]

No year could be considered complete without the obligatory cop-family/friend drama, cast with seasoned actors. We Own the Night, takes the spot this year and is Sony Pictures late push for an Oscar bid.
It stars Joaquin Phoenix as Bobby Green, the manager of a Russian mob owned hot spot, El Caribe. He also […]

Michael Clayton is the directorial debut of Tony Gilroy (better known for his Bourne series screenplays). It stars George Clooney as Mister Clayton himself; a fixer of things in need of a solution (think Winston Wolfe in Pulp Fiction, only not as polished). He finds himself in the middle of two situations — […]

I’ve gotten so used to watching great mob movies depicting ruthless Italians (Goodfellas and The Godfather), that I’ve forgotten other cultures have their own organized crime syndicates too. The Chinese and Japanese have some mean people doing some very bad things. So do the Columbians. But the cake has to go to […]

I tend to get my guard up whenever I go into the theater to see a movie like The Kingdom. I always expect an overdose of political activism or some other jaded point of view that the writer and/or director wants to stuff down my throat. This, I believe, is the second such […]

When it comes to Jodie Foster, I’m not one to run to catch the opening show, and Terrence Howard isn’t exactly a Will Smith, but The Brave One turned out just fine. This is an interesting spin on the old street vigilante concept. By the very nature of the material, this qualifies as pulp-fiction melodrama, […]

Sometimes movies look so much better on paper and storyboards rather than on an actual reel of film. Such is the case with Shoot ‘Em Up. It is every writer’s wet dream, a movie light on plot, dialogue and substance; heavy on nonstop action, including incredible gun and knife fights, car chases, aerial battles […]

Question. Why does Hollywood think all the rural and desolate areas in the southern United States are filled with inbred, whacky rednecks who want to cause harm to the rest of society? I’ve met thousdands of southerners, many of whom I figured were the accidental offspring of close relatives (I used to work […]

We’ve all said it before, more so after we’ve established a family of our own. God forbid, if something were to happen to someone we love, we’d kill the bastards responsible. We’d hunt them down like a prey animal and first do unimaginable things to them for the pain they’ve caused us. […]

Didn’t Jet Li retire last year? I guess the allure of making mostly grand action movies is just too strong – just like the smell of chocolate is irresistible to a fat person – because he is back and kicking ass in War.
This time, instead of being involved in some obscure Chinese tale (i.e., […]

The Invasion. How many people knew this was being released? I didn’t. Seems Warner Bros. didn’t put a lot of stock into either; no premier and a limited amount of advertising basically ensured this movie would receive little to no fanfare. Makes a person wonder whether the movie is worth watching, […]

Last night in a moment weakness (also known as boredom) I sat down to watch Beneath. It’s an MTV production and even though they’ve had their hands in some relatively good movies lately like Blades of Glory and Jackass Number Two, I set my set my expectations low enough to not be upset if […]

The Bourne Ultimatum is the third installment of the Bourne saga. This movie picks up right after Jason Bourne apologizes to the Neski daughter, without pause after the events of the second film, which may leave newcomers to the series a little perplexed. If you have seen the first two films, which I recommend before […]

Werewolves seem to be enjoying a resurgence. The Underworld series and to a lesser extent, movies like Blood and Chocolate has made them cool again. And as of late there certainly appears to be a lot of buzz about Skinwalkers. I’m not entirely sure why, but whatever the reason, it was enough […]

Let’s call it now. There are only two reasons anyone has heard anything about I Know Who Killed Me. One, it stars Lindsay Lohan, who everyone knows is a figure of tabloid fodder due to her indulgence in the finer drugs available. Two, it stars Lindsay Lohan and she plays an exotic […]

To be perfectly honest, I had no idea what to expect when the opportunity to watch Wind Chill presented itself the other day. I knew nothing of the story other than there were some ghosts harassing some stranded college kids. So like I do with all movies, I buttered my popcorn, sat back […]

Many moons ago I heard some major rumblings about the upcoming movie Captivity. Apparently, there were a few movie posters plastered around that were extremely shocking and horrifying to passer-bys. This coupled with the fact that the very hot Elisha Cuthbert was starring in it caused a major buzz. Cuthbert being held […]

Thank God for John McClane. That’s right I said it. Where would our great country be, if John McClane was not there to save it time and again? I’ll tell you where — right in the shitter. In Die Hard, he outwitted an international thief holding people in the Nakatomi Plaza […]

Hotel rooms suck. No matter how gaudy or pretty they’re made up, they still suck. I know this because I travel nearly every week and spend way too much of my time in them. My problem with them is I simply never quite know what has happened in the room prior to […]

Vampires. I don’t think there is a cooler, monstrous entity imagined. They’re immortal. They’re tough as nails. They drink blood. Can they be any more awesome? It sure can — Lucy Liu can be cast as a bloodsucker. Now they’re smokin’ hot. Rise: Blood Hunter puts them […]

It’s been a long time, 16 years to be precise, since the high water mark was set so high by The Silence of the Lambs for serial killer thrillers. And in those 16 years, there has yet to be a movie that even comes close to surpassing it. So it is fair […]

In 2002, we were introduced to the rage virus in 28 Days Later…. At the end of the movie we were made to assume that all will be well after mainland Britain was quarantined. But guess what? The rage is back in 28 Weeks Later and it’s badder than ever.
28 Weeks Later […]

Let me start of by saying that the most memorable part of Next is Nicholas Cage’s hair. I kept thinking of the Nick Nolte mug shot when he got caught for DUI. My main reason to go watch this movie was for Jessica Biel but I just ended up wasting some $10 on a ticket and […]

Here it is, Spider-Man 3, the most anticipated movie of the year. As a Spider-Man fan for most of my life, I can safely say I was counting down the days for this release. After Spider-Man 2, I found myself yearning for more. Could the third installment best the sequel which actually […]

It was bound to happen. Halle Berry and Bruce Willis were at some point in time going to cross paths in a movie again. The last time it happened was in the lackluster The Last Boy Scout way back in 1991 when both were rising stars. Now in their prime (some may […]

Work has been kicking my ass for the past week or so, so I hadn’t had a chance to get out to the theaters to catch anything worth my while. Today, I had a few hours to kill so I looked at the leader board and saw Disturbia was still holding a commanding lead. […]

I hate warm beer. I hate it almost as much as I hate wet farts. But what I hate even more than both of those, are movies that offer nothing of worth to the viewer. They’re simply pushed out of the studio to lift a few of our hard earned dollars […]

After all the critical acclaim heaved upon Danny Boyle and Alex Garland for helping to redefine the zombie flick with 28 Days Later…, I was definitely excited to see if something similar could be done with science fiction genre. Granted, there are plenty of recent space movies but they’ve all focused on action and […]

From a religious perspective, I’ve never considered myself a non-believer but more of a sideline believer. I am fascinated by the Bible shows on the Discovery and History channels. So without question, I had to get out to the local cineplex to catch a viewing of The Reaping. It seemed to have […]

Time for a kick-ass action movie — the first of 2007. This time around we’ve got Jason Bourne, going after some bad-ass government officials who have wronged him . . . oops, I’m sorry I’ve got the movie confused. I’m supposed to be reviewing Shooter and I’ve started to review The Bourne Identity! […]

This can’t be good, can it? Sandra Bullock is back in a movie that requires her to do something other than look pretty. Why, oh why does Hollywood make movies like this? Surely, they know that Mrs. Jesse James, isn’t a bankable commodity anymore. This is a woman who starred in […]

It’s been awhile since a zombie movie offered us something different. Usually, the movie will focus on a band of people trying like hell to survive an onslaught of flesh hungry living dead. While still the same premise Dawn of the Dead reinvigorated the genre with updated special effects and surprisingly mobile zombies. […]

I remember almost like it was yesterday when the news flashed that a traitor to the United States, Robert Hanssen, was caught selling classified secrets to the USSR/Russia. I recall thinking, “why did it take so long to catch this scumbag” and “why would someone sell their country out?”. And what do you […]

I was fortunate enough to get couple of tickets to go watch this movie on a saturday night. I saw the trailer of this movie a few months ago and was very excited to see this one because of the director and the cast. Well it seemed that all that build up was for nothing, I was […]

It’s been awhile since I’ve seen my favorite guy with a rubber face, Jim Carrey. He’s been keeping a low profile all the while tapping the ass of that hottie Jenny McCarthy. Lucky fucker. So as I was saying before I began salivating over McCarthy’s pristine ass like Pavlov’s dog, it is […]

As a lonely child, I gravitated towards Dungeons & Dragons and have always been intrigued with fantasy worlds and the creatures that inhabit them. So finally, after seeing and hearing all the hoopla surrounding Pan’s Labyrinth or should I say El Laberinto del Fauno (real Spanish title), I finally got up the nerve to […]

Flame On!
Nicholas Cage character Johnny, blazes the big sceen as the Ghost Rider with some intense visual effects and the fight for the balance of good and evil. Wife and I decided to spend the saturday evening at the movies and of all the choices we had, we decided to go for Ghost Rider as […]

Nothing gets the blood flowing better in the morning than a scary movie based on some freaky, paranormal shit. Then again, a good shot of whiskey coupled with a mind-numbing blowjob will do the trick too. Unfortunately, I don’t get much of the latter anymore, so The Messengers are going to have fulfill […]

I’m going to begin this review by saying I’m no fan of remakes. To often they reek of shit and mean people are out of fresh ideas. However, due to a boring Saturday night, I decided against my better judgement and sat to watch The Hitcher. I hate myself for it.
Let me […]

Espionage flicks are the best. You get a big ‘ole dose of drama, a speck of thrilling action, a touch of violence and usually a dose or two of sex. But the best part of well thought out spy movie is that it forces us, the viewer, to try and figure out the […]

One of my favorite movie franchises has got to be James Bond. The man has it all - fine clothes, awesome gadgets, skills in every study known to man, kick-ass cars and of course, smoking hot chicks who line up to fuck him. Who wouldn’t want to emulate that? However, it is […]

It’s been several years since anyone has mentioned Martin Scorsese in the same breath as Oscar. Yeah he was up for it with The Aviator (2004) and Gangs of New York (2003) but those snore fests were only nominated because everything else in the theaters sucked ostrich dick. This man gave us movies […]

Here we go again. Hollywood has once again decided to take a cheesy, campy 80’s TV show and upgrade it to the big screen. This time it isn’t The Dukes of Hazzard, The Beverly Hillbillies or Bewitched; it’s Miami Vice. And instead of Don Johnson and Philip Michael Thomas as Crockett and […]

Ah, summer blockbuster time. Sun is shing brightly, birds are chirping and Hollywood throws our way the movies that will make or break their year. The first movie of the season is Mission: Impossible III starring our favorite actor Tom Cruise as spy Ethan Hunt.
Now I’m the first guy to get in line […]

With a moment to kill, I sat back with a cold Yuengling, a box of Wheat Thins and a jar of peanut butter and watched the latest Wayans brothers offering: Scary Movie 4. Now as always I try and be fair and watch all movies with an open mind - no preconceived notions here. […]

After a good long night of drinking, I finally sat down to watch what some are calling one of the best movies this year to come out of Hollywood.  I’m obviously talking about the latest offering by the Wachowski brothers - V for Vendetta.  The movie based off of a UK comic book of the same […]

Let me start this review by saying that if my wife, whom I love dearly, didn’t want to watch this move, I wouldn’t have gone near it. I’ll be the first to admit Jodie Foster is a top-tier actress, but that fact didn’t outwiegh the notion that Flightplan is a hokey piece of shit.
First, […]

With my folks in town and some time to kill, we decided to sit back and watch the latest Wes Craven psychological thriller Red Eye. Personally, I had absolutely no idea what this movie was about except for the fact it had some shit to do with a plane and crazy guy.
So, going into […]

We’ve all seen the advertisements of the The Skeleton Key telling would-be movie watchers that ‘this movie is as good as The Sixth Sense’ and asking people to not ’spoil the ending’. So, as most of mindless America, I bit the hook and and let them reel me in.
In a nutshell the movie casts […]

Why, oh why, do I do this to myself? I must be a glutton for punishment. That’s really the only way to explain my reasoning to watch The Amityville Horror.
Where should I begin. I knew this movie had to suck ass before my wife and I sat down to watch it. The […]

With the mildly surprising success of Miss Congeniality, Hollywood and Sandra Bullock figured why not pump out a sequel and hope for similar results. What do they get? Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous. A mildly entertaining movie (of course).
Ms. Bullock reprises her role as FBI agent Gracie Hart. The dressed […]

Wow. Another comic book…err, I mean graphic novel to movie adaptation. Which one am I talking about now? Sin City of course. An obscure graphic novel by the man who single-handedly made Batman cool again - Frank Miller. Although, most of the latest comics to movies have sucked ass (see Electra, […]

Last night, the wife and I sat down expecting to get a good scare before going to bed. She had her popcorn. I had high hopes. Although, I wasn’t a huge fan of the first movie (it reminded me of the shitty scarefest FearDotCom), I figured The Ring Two would be better. […]

Let’s begin by saying I like Bruce Willis. Always have. Any man that bagged Demi Moore, is alright in my book. So I looked forward to checking out his latest movie Hostage. How can Hollywood screw up a movie that seems so similar to one of the greats: Die Hard?
Movie starts […]

Ok, I’ll admit it, I went into this movie thinking it was a pile of horseshit. Everyone I knew (and their mothers) claimed this movie sucked ass. “Shit movie” and “Keanu Reaves can’t act”, are a few of the remarks I’ve heard. Although I can’t argue the latter opinion, I make a case on the […]

The basic premise of the movie: a family man takes his daughter from their city home where a tragedy had occurred, to a country cottage where all hell breaks loose.
Hide and Seek has a great cast so I expected good things. Robert DeNiro still has some acting left in him. Dakota Fanning is […]