I'm an old, miserable fart set in his ways. Some of the things that bring a smile to my face are (in no particular order): Teenage back acne, the rain on my face, long walks on the beach and redneck women named Francis. Oh yeah, I like to watch and criticize movies.
Isolationism, claustrophobia and delirium are motherfuckers — especially when they’re mixed together with the darkness of space. Pandorum is word roughly devised to describe this scenario and director Christian Alvart hopes his movie of the same name can scare the shit out of you because of it. It can’t. Not for any reason other than…
There are 32 rules, as of this writing, to ensure survival from a zombie infestation. That is of course if you want to believe what “Columbus” (Jesse Eisenberg), a young awkward kid who just so happens to find himself surviving a zombie plague in the latest undead flick Zombieland, has to say. Your best to…
Taking the projection of oneself one step further in the digital realm than the abysmal online world of Second Life does, Surrogates imagines a world where true 3D representations move about in the world in place of the living and breathing. Why risk actually interacting with others when one can sit comfortably at the house…
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs is one of those enlightening pick me up kind of movies great for a rainy day. It’s great for the kids too. This 3D animated adventure, based on a popular children’s book by Judi and Ron Barrett, delivers a “never give up on your dreams” message in a most…
I swear, one can make a movie about absolutely anything, get Megan Fox to star in it and they can retire in the lap of luxury. Ordinary men, you see, don’t give a rat’s ass about whether the movie in question is any good; they just want to see a super hot chick in compromising…
The requisite elements are all in place for the raunchy comedy The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard to succeed. You’ve got the ridiculous storyline of a car lot needing to do anything to sell off its entire inventory over the Fourth of July long weekend. They’re so desperate, owner Ben Selleck (James Brolin) decides he’s…
In the not so distant future, mankind is all but eliminated from the face of the Earth. In the similar fashion as the Terminator films, man built machines that ultimately led to his and all of life’s eradication. Man may be gone, however, but in his place are miniature ragdoll-like puppet creatures imbued with the…
