I'm an old, miserable fart set in his ways. Some of the things that bring a smile to my face are (in no particular order): Teenage back acne, the rain on my face, long walks on the beach and redneck women named Francis. Oh yeah, I like to watch and criticize movies.
Holy shitwings Batman, a movie has been made specifically for Paris Hilton (bet you never thought you’d read a movie review start like that before). Somewhere a baby is dying because of this unforgivable offense to mankind. But then again, maybe not. Sure, The Hottie and the Nottie is an affront to all our basic…
Super smooth George Clooney has taken a break from playing his super smooth role in the successful Oceans series long enough to tackle (no pun intended) Leatherheads, a romantic comedy with a professional football backdrop set in the 1930’s. Aside from being an avid football fan (go Panthers), I was looking forward to seeing Clooney…
Sometimes you just have to shake your head in disbelief because there isn’t much else you can do. While watching Uma Thurman and Colin Firth stumble their way through the ill-conceived The Accidental Husband, it was literally all I could do (spitting up my drink would have been too messy). This is definitely one of…
Although I’m sure I’ve said it somewhere before, I’ve always found myself rooting for Owen Wilson, even more so since his ill-conceived suicide attempt last year. And even though I wasn’t a huge fan of his first film on his comeback trail (The Darjeeling Limited), I kept my hopes up for his second in line:…
Nim’s Island is the latest addition to the ever growing list of children books that have been adapted to the big screen. This time however, instead of taking place in part or in whole in some fantastical fantasy realm (Harry Potter series, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe), this movie…
If I were to write a 10-second movie review of Superhero Movie it would go something like this: Unfunny. Unimaginative. Sloppily written, acted and directed. It marks the beginning of Armageddon. Unfortunately, I don’t publish reviews like that, so I’ll have to force myself to expand on why my above three fragmented sentences and one…
Somewhere along this rocky road we call life, I’ve taken on the cause for the older generation who refuse to relinquish their youth. My qualifications for this post? I faithfully watch Saturday morning cartoons (even though they’re nothing like those from the old days), I act like a buffoon at the most inopportune moments (much…
