Uwe Boll (which is German for “Appalling Filmmaker”) has made a living over recent years (and has angered a great deal of people) by transforming beloved video game properties into epically awful movies. As a result, the cultural landscape has become tragically cluttered with unwatchable motion pictures such as House of the Dead, BloodRayne, Alone…
If you’re familiar with low-budget horror flicks and/or video-game-to-movie adaptations, chances are you’ve heard of Uwe Boll. Even if you’re not familiar with Boll’s cinematic output, you’ve more than likely heard opinions on the guy’s work, and, in all likelihood, those opinions have not exactly been complimentary. If Boll’s work and name is a mystery…
In motion pictures, it’s a widespread belief that children are the embodiment of pure evil. Perhaps not all kids are the spawn of Satan, but horror filmmakers realize that evil disguised behind the eyes of a seemingly innocent child is an effective way of amplifying the scare factor. Into this genre now steps 2009’s Orphan….
Most of those who came into contact with the 2008 Swedish masterpiece Let the Right One In were immediately captivated and hypnotized by its brilliance, especially in the wake of the insipid Twilight phenomenon. It committed an unforgivable sin, though: It was foreign and subtitle-laden, meaning the movie never existed in Hollywood’s eyes. Thus, now…
Even for a consistently-reliable studio like Pixar, the notion of Toy Story 3 seemed risky due to the time-honored tradition of part threes being unnecessary and below-par. The Godfather: Part III, Lethal Weapon 3, Batman Forever, Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, Alien 3, Jurassic Park III and Superman III are a few examples of…
The premise behind 2010’s Furry Vengeance — a live-action cartoon featuring woodland mammals — is tolerable. However, the film is rendered insufferable due to its soulless, mean-spirited, moronic script, the repetitive, obnoxiously unfunny slapstick comedy, and the ill-conceived attempts to inject this cinematic stool sample with an environmental message. It is a film with no…
One must admit, it takes serious guts to entitle a film The Losers, since lame jokes are just begging to be cracked. Already, the critics who panned this appalling motion picture have utilized the obvious, “The losers are in fact the audience” in addition to the also obvious, “What were you expecting? It’s called The…
