It’s hard to pinpoint exactly when I gave up any hope of enjoying this film. Possibly it was the moment I saw Liam Neeson dressed in tin-foil armor. Or maybe it was the image of Sam Worthington riding a giant CGI scorpion through the desert. Regardless, by the halfway mark I was already considering using my popcorn bag as a suffocation device.
Contrary to its title, Clash of the Titans doesn’t actually feature a single Titan. The rehashed story (yes, this is a remake) instead revolves around the struggle between mankind and the Gods. And by story, I mean the two minutes of forced dialogue between each fight scene. Zeus (played by Neeson) has declared an all-out war on those who once worshipped him. Outmatched and outgunned, the humans are desperate for help. Along comes lowly fisherman/demi-god Perseus (Sam Worthington). Once content to live out his days catching trout, Perseus joins the cause in order to avenge his parent’s death.
It goes without saying Clash of the Titans is light on realism. Not to mention the character development is nonexistent. But what it lacks in substance, it makes up for with poorly rendered CGI graphics and dull action sequences. Considering the whole movie is basically a series of strung-together battles, you’d think they’d actually be exciting. Sadly, Director Louis Leterrier can’t seem to decide whether he’s making a campy popcorn thriller or a serious film. He begins by setting up a grim, realistic tone but then shatters it minutes later with absurd, special effects driven action scenes. The end result is a lot of unintentional comedy.
The actors don’t seem to be in on the joke either. Ralph Fiennes channels the voice of a ninety-year old chain smoker for the role of Hades. Worthington tries, and fails, to overcome terrible dialogue by scowling in every scene. Although he deserves some praise for managing to utter lines such as, “I mend nets, not wield a sword” without bursting out laughing. And Liam Neeson manages to ignore the fact that he’s dressed in glistening sequins. They may all be confused as to what type of movie they’re in, but I’m not. It’s the type that fails in the box office.