Never heard of Miss Conception? No worries. I never heard of it either before today. It’s a little low-key romantic comedy – so quiet, in fact, it was filmed and released first in the U.K. before making a limited appearance here in the states. The only reason I found it was […]

Idea. Let’s pitch a movie about some unexplainable occurrence that causes people to inexplicably kill themselves. Then M. Night Shyamalan can direct it so people will invariably think there is a monumental twist at the end. And to make it even more eerie and intriguing let’s name it The Happening.
There you have, […]

The Hulk has arrived and with him comes the first real action blockbuster of the summer. Yeah sure Iron Man made some big waves, but it was short on bone aching action and heavy on sleep inducing backstory. Director Louis Leterrier and screenwriter Zak Penn make the assumption you know who the Hulk is, […]

If you have ever wondered what it feels like to be punched in the face repeatedly by Mike Tyson in his prime, wonder no more. Adam Sandler, with the help of Robert Smigel and, gulp, Judd Apatow, have in all of their infinite wit and wisdom provided to you, for the measly cost of […]

Few would argue against the fact that Judd Apatow and Tina Fey are the hottest comedic properties in Hollywood today. So with the success of Apatow’s Knocked Up last year, there was little surprise that its premise (or some form of it) would rear its ugly head again. It has with Baby Mama.
While […]

Has 1300 years passed already? In the fictional land of Narnia it has and things haven’t been so good for the Narnians since Edmund (Skandar Keynes), Lucy (Georgie Henley), Susan (Anna Popplewell) and Peter (William Moseley) left to return to the real world. Actually, saying things haven’t been so good is a bit […]

What do you get when you combine the living dead with exotic dancers? Zombie Strippers! of course! I must say, I’m amazed it took so long to make a film devoted to these two mainstays of American culture. I’ll also say, I wouldn’t have minded if it took a bit longer, because this […]

Ingenuity is the mother of invention (or something like that). Since movies being harsh on the war in Iraq and on the current administration of the United States have been bombing (no pun intended) stupendously at the box office, writers Mark Leyner, Jeremy Pikser and John Cusack came up with a nifty idea – […]

We all know what goes in Las Vegas – it’s Sin City after all. You get drunk. You get laid. 80% of the time you gamble away a small fortune. And depending on how long you’re visiting, you do it all over again the following night. Why? Because what […]

There is but one reason as to why this movie review is so late – I purposely looked to avoid watching Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay. Even though I consider myself an incestuous lover of sophomoric movies, I just couldn’t consummate the affair with the original Harold & Kumar Go to White […]

Whoever said Keanu Reeves was a one trick pony (think Matrix trilogy) or very possibly one of the very worst actors of our time, please stand up. After I watched the wannabe cop-thriller Street Kings (I was hoping for a Training Day type of flick), I want to shake your hands. Clearly, Mr. […]

Holy shitwings Batman, a movie has been made specifically for Paris Hilton (bet you never thought you’d read a movie review start like that before). Somewhere a baby is dying because of this unforgivable offense to mankind. But then again, maybe not. Sure, The Hottie and the Nottie is an affront to […]

Super smooth George Clooney has taken a break from playing his super smooth role in the successful Oceans series long enough to tackle (no pun intended) Leatherheads, a romantic comedy with a professional football backdrop set in the 1930’s. Aside from being an avid football fan (go Panthers), I was looking forward to seeing […]

Sometimes you just have to shake your head in disbelief because there isn’t much else you can do. While watching Uma Thurman and Colin Firth stumble their way through the ill-conceived The Accidental Husband, it was literally all I could do (spitting up my drink would have been too messy). This is definitely […]

Although I’m sure I’ve said it somewhere before, I’ve always found myself rooting for Owen Wilson, even more so since his ill-conceived suicide attempt last year. And even though I wasn’t a huge fan of his first film on his comeback trail (The Darjeeling Limited), I kept my hopes up for his second in […]

Nim’s Island is the latest addition to the ever growing list of children books that have been adapted to the big screen. This time however, instead of taking place in part or in whole in some fantastical fantasy realm (Harry Potter series, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe), this […]

If I were to write a 10-second movie review of Superhero Movie it would go something like this:
Unfunny. Unimaginative. Sloppily written, acted and directed. It marks the beginning of Armageddon.
Unfortunately, I don’t publish reviews like that, so I’ll have to force myself to expand on why my above three fragmented sentences and […]

Somewhere along this rocky road we call life, I’ve taken on the cause for the older generation who refuse to relinquish their youth. My qualifications for this post? I faithfully watch Saturday morning cartoons (even though they’re nothing like those from the old days), I act like a buffoon at the most inopportune […]

How high can one set their expectations when all the trailers for a movie are about a domesticated pig doing backflips? I suppose you can set them high if the movie was Charlotte’s Web, but surely not about a movie like College Road Trip which is about a girl and her father bonding as […]

Horton Hears a Who! is number three of Dr. Seuss books brought to the big screen by Hollywood looking for a new avenue to draw cash from. This movie is slightly different from The Cat in the Hat and How the Grinch Stole Christmas though. Whereas those two films were really just vehicles […]

Wow. That one word is all that is truly needed to complete a movie review of In Bruges, the movie from novice writer and director Martin McDonagh (his short film Six Shooter discounted). The reason for the high praise is simple, he’s taken his cues from Quentin Tarantino (Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction) […]

No doubt writers Harald Kloser and Roland Emmerich (who also directed) had grand plans for 10,000 B.C.. Spectacular visuals supporting a tall tale set in the ancient world point to a movie with epic aspirations along the lines of Apocalypto and Gladiator. Unfortunately, they didn’t do their “homework”, as the movie is littered […]

Larry the Cable Guy is at his best, a marginally funny stand-up comedian. He is not is any way, shape or form a person with an ounce of acting ability. Witless Protection proves this point conclusively (although this should have been clearly evident when he was cast in Delta Farce).
In this latest mess masquerading […]

If you want a heist movie with class, you cast George Clooney and Brad Pitt and make a film along the lines of Ocean’s Thirteen (or any of the preceding ones). When you want a gritty, seedy heist movie, you hire the new action kid on the block, Jason Statham and end up with […]

I feel I’ve seen this movie several times already. Come to think of it, my reviews of Blades of Glory and Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby literally capture the same highs and lows as I saw in Semi-Pro. The only differences are a slight adjustment to the cast of supporting actors […]

Is it me or does it seem like there is a glut of fantasy novels starring children being adapted for the big screen lately? It’s almost as if they’ve become the new hot thing in Tinsletown giving the comic book hero a run for their money (nothing can actually replace them from the top […]

With a deep breath and high hopes I set out to watch the latest urban “find yourself” movie with a dance/rap backdrop — Step Up 2 the Streets. Why? I’m an optimist and a dreamer, and I firmly believe some day a movie like this will actually be worth the price of an […]

Charlie Bartlett is one of those movies that leaves me perplexed. I had no preconceived notions about it, other than it looked like it might be funny, and after seeing it I still don’t have a clear opinion about it, other than it should have either been funnier or more dramatic. It’s kinda […]

On the surface Jumper looks like a movie I’ve been longing for – an action movie that has a character that actually embraces his or her extraordinary talent and uses it in a realistic manner (i.e., not like a superhero). Of course after seeing the movie, it doesn’t quite live up to my expectations.
The […]

I get the distinct feeling I’ve seen Fool’s Gold before. Tell me if this premise seems even remotely familiar to you: A reckless loser with a hot girlfriend, convinces her to join him on a perilous adventure searching for buried treasure on the ocean floor. Need some help jogging your memory banks? […]

Martin Lawrence returns from his last half-way decent showing in Wild Hogs to join another all-star cast in Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins. While I don’t doubt his reasons for taking the role (either needed the money or just wanted to get himself into an all black film), I am perplexed as to why some […]

I’m going to start this movie review by stating what may not be so obvious due to the cast of actors starring in it: Strange Wilderness is not a movie for everyone. Actually it’s not a movie for 90% of the worlds’ population either. It is meant for individuals with a sophomoric sense […]

Small screen starlet, Eva Longoria Parker has found herself in a starring role in Over Her Dead Body, the second major romantic-comedy release of the year (27 Dresses being the first). I can count two possible reasons why she’s in that position: 1.) The more accomplished romance leads were already tied up in other […]

Due to my extremely short attention span, I’m guessing the Hollywood raid into the Japanese horror genre started with The Ring. Next on the borrow list was The Grudge. The success of these movies inspired several uninspiring sequels and in 2008, two – yes, two – brand-spanking new copies hit the theaters: One […]

With the ongoing success of the Saw and the Hostel franchises, it was only a matter of time before the “torture-porn” phenomenon tried to weasel its way into a mainstream movie. Hollywood, in its infinite wisdom, has decided to take what was a horror-boys fantasy and legitimize it by throwing an established actress like […]

Holy viral marketing campaign, Batman. Cloverfield, the latest production from J.J. Abrams (best known for Lost and Alias), may be the most hyped movie of the decade. It was pure genius – the whole country had vivid images of the Statue of Liberty’s head rolling down the Avenue of the Americas for weeks prior […]

With very little on the cinematic horizon for the young ones, I decided to take the boys to see the only game in town that met their demographic: The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie. I really had zero interest in this but that didn’t stop the kids from wanting to see […]

The staple of any good romantic comedy is the chemistry between the leading lady and leading man. This is highlighted by most movies starring Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan (Sleepless in Seattle and You’ve Got Mail) and 90% of the films starring Matthew McConaughey or Hugh Grant (mostly because these guys can have instant […]

Do you remember the days when Ice Cube was a tough guy, gangster rapper with N.W.A.? How about when he crossed over into the world of cinema with the critically acclaimed Boyz n the Hood? If you don’t recall any of those times, then you’ve clearly missed out on the best of what […]

I’m late with the movie review, I know. I’ve resisted seeing Juno because I had trouble visualizing a female Napoleon Dynamite-like character. Could the bizarre, backwards character immortalized by Jon Heder be improved upon? Should it even have been attempted? The answers to those questions are: It certainly can be […]

I’ve broken a cardinal rule. I watched The Ungodly based solely on the fact it had a cool sounding title. The name conjured up thoughts of pure, unadulterated evil and in the current shitty mood I’m in, it seemed like a perfect way to embrace my aggravation. But, I’ve been around long […]

I’m going to cut right to the point — any movie that starts with Marisa Tomei taking it doggy-style is more than okay in my book. I have no clue what switch director Sidney Lumet flicked to get her to sacrifice in such a way for her craft (probably the same one Marc Forster […]

Every so often a movie comes along that you can identify with on some personal level. For me watching an unassuming Congressman from the 2nd Congressional District of Texas, who likes to party hearty with booze and other assorted drugs, and hook-up with strippers and other assorted women was like looking in a mirror. […]

Sowing their oats on the mammoth success of Superbad and Knocked Up (although I wasn’t overly impressed with it) earlier this year, the Judd Apatow team of writers and actors figured to lower the standards of the biography genre with Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story. Just with the name, you know full well […]

Rob Reiner has surfaced again, directing arguably two of the most accomplished actors of our time: Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. The vehicle: The Bucket List, a comedy drama that tries to add a new twist to the Odd Couple scenario. Instead of just throwing together two incompatible people, as so many movies […]

I firmly believe there is a treasure hunter in all of us. The possibility of having your name attached to discovering a lost civilization or an artifact worth a fortune are all things we’ve dreamed about at one time or another. It’s the underlying reason that Indiana Jones was so popular (and still […]

Someone, somewhere still thinks Jessica Simpson is a bankable product. But with declining music sales, a long forgotten reality television show and not ever actually having much in the way of a hit movie, I’m not so sure that individual still has a job. That’s because her latest feature, Blonde Ambition, has had […]

I’ll admit it, when I was a youth I watched the 1980’s Saturday morning cartoon the Alvin and the Chipmunks movie is based upon. Don’t ask why, I’m still trying to understand what would have compelled me to watch it (I’d like to know why I watched the Smurfs also). But based on […]

The Hollywood remake. Love ‘em or hate ‘em, they’re a steady part of our cinema diet. I Am Legend proves once again that Hollywood believes the easiest path to success is to either: make a sequel or take a movie from years past and dress it up with an updated storyline and fresh graphics. […]

I’m not sure what all the hoopla was surrounding The Golden Compass. I believe it has something to do with the atheistic stance the author of the book from which the movie was adapted from had. Sure there are a few themes that indicate religion is a bad institution, but I don’t recall […]

I figured before I sat down to watch the most hyped films of the winter, I’d schedule in one more low-budget, limited release flick. This film made its debut at the After Dark Horror Fest earlier this year and duly disappeared again. That’s a shame because the individuals I spoke with who attended […]

Can you believe American Pie was released nearly ten years ago? Since then the franchise has seen two theatrical sequels and two direct-to-DVD offerings. Later this month, a third Blockbuster special is slated to hit the shelves – American Pie Presents: Beta House. Read on to determine if this movie even remotely […]

With time to spare and the need for something lighthearted and cutesy being introduced into my system (I had just reviewed Jack Ketchum’s The Girl Next Door), Enchanted seemed like the perfect choice. And let’s be realistic, has Disney ever led anyone astray when they needed this kind of infusion?
The answer is yes, they […]

There aren’t many movies that I’ve seen that have made me want to turn away or jump through the screen to change the outcome. I knew after reading the synopsis of Jack Ketchum’s The Girl Next Door, this was going to be one of those films – after all, nothing spells heartbreak and brutality […]

On a whole, you’ve got to root for a movie whose sole purpose is to celebrate the inner child so many adults have lost. Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium sets out to do this by combining the quirkiness of Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory and the zaniness of The Cat in the Hat. […]

Here we go again. Even though the old video game to movie adaption has played itself out some time ago, it has reared it’s ugly head above the surface once more to take a stab at our wallets and pocketbooks. No I’m not talking about a fourth Resident Evil (although I’m certain one […]

It’s that Oscar time of year again when compelling movies get released late so they can remain in the heads of the Academy voters easier. The latest up to bat is No Country For Old Men. It’s the highly anticipated film by none other than Joel and Ethan Coen (better known as the […]

A Christmas movie in early November? That’s almost like having a Halloween movie released in August. If I didn’t know any better I’d think the Hollywood marketing machine had lost their concept of time. But since I know they haven’t, my guess is that they wanted to start the movie buzz early […]

I promised myself I would never watch another movie with Dane Cook in it again. I begged, pleaded and insisted that Hollywood not allow him to star in another movie after I reviewed his last monstrosity Good Luck Chuck. But just like my wife and kids, they don’t listen to me. He’s […]

Let me start this particular movie review off by saying I’m a big fan of animated movies. I’m an even bigger fan of films starring real, flesh and blood actors and actresses. I am not however, a proponent of the stop-action animation that mixes these two forms of movies together. Apparently, Robert […]

Sadly, I missed P1 when it was released last year. But seeing as it was such a good horror movie, Summit Entertainment has been good enough to bring P2 to the theaters. Yes, I’m kidding. There was no film titled P1 that I am aware of and aside from a single advertisement […]

I went into seeing Lions for Lambs ready for a hearty dose of left-wing propaganda. Statements like “George W. Bush is a terrible president”, “we must find an exit strategy in Iraq since the war is going so poorly” and “the entire Republican party is a bunch of crooks and miscreants” were swirling through […]

For those of us who have been anxiously waiting for something new from Jerry Seinfeld (Comedian doesn’t count), our wait has ended. The animated adventure Bee Movie marks his return to the spotlight – or does it? Sadly, this is not the breakout feature I had been hoping to see. The reasons […]

Oh how I wish I were a young man again. In case you haven’t heard, there’s a new trend sweeping the nation. Sex clubs, united young men with older women are all the rage. If you’re a young man, there can be no better teacher than an experienced woman. Trust me. […]

The Darjeeling Limited is the latest irreverent family/self discovery movie by Wes Anderson. You may remember he’s the creative force behind other offbeat movies likeThe Royal Tenenbaums and The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou. Sticking with his modis operandi, Anderson picks another unusual place to host his vision – a passenger train traveling […]

Ever get the sneaky suspicion that someone does something with less than admirable intentions? That’s what I felt when I sat down to watch and review Saw IV. After all, since the original Saw was released in 2004, Lionsgate has bankrolled sequels every year, each film still remarkably making a healthy profit while […]

I think it is a safe statement to say that most people, like myself, appreciate a movie that depicts a person or persons rising to the top of the food chain by perseverance, hard work and some smarts, even if their profession is less than honorable. Ridley Scott (best known for Black Hawk Down […]

That’s it. I can’t stand it anymore. The Comebacks is the final straw that broke this camel’s back. I am now officially decreeing that the era of the parody movie is over. It is dead. All remaining screenplays are to be set afire and their ashes shall be dumped in […]

There are a few things in this world that make me uncomfortable. Being stuck in a barren wasteland is one of them. And although I’m not a person who fears the dark, something about being stuck in it for and extended period of time sends shivers down my spine. I’m also not […]

No year could be considered complete without the obligatory cop-family/friend drama, cast with seasoned actors. We Own the Night, takes the spot this year and is Sony Pictures late push for an Oscar bid.
It stars Joaquin Phoenix as Bobby Green, the manager of a Russian mob owned hot spot, El Caribe. He also […]

Remember David Schwimmer? Sure you do, he was the annoying guy on Friends who got to hook up with Rachel (it’s Ross, if you’re having trouble following along). Well since his acting gigs have mostly dried up, he’s decided to try his hand at directing. His first foray into this uncharted territory […]

Michael Clayton is the directorial debut of Tony Gilroy (better known for his Bourne series screenplays). It stars George Clooney as Mister Clayton himself; a fixer of things in need of a solution (think Winston Wolfe in Pulp Fiction, only not as polished). He finds himself in the middle of two situations — […]

In all walks of life there are standout groups or individuals that deserve a telling of their story. Julien Temple in 2000 directed The Filth and the Fury, a documentary of the often times misunderstood punk pioneers Sex Pistols. Sensing punk-rock deserved another telling story, he’s returned with Joe Strummer: The Future Is […]

There are three reasons as to why I decided to watch Feel the Noise and review it. One, I’m a glutton for punishment. Two, I figured no one else would review this film and a movie like this is just screaming to be critiqued. Three, I love the comments that always follow […]

The last good twisted movie (in my humble opinion) from the Farrelly brothers was seven years ago with their feature Me, Myself and Irene. True they had a few movies in between then and now, but they’ve been lackluster and relatively safe. Since then a new kid with an equally deranged mind and […]

I’ve gotten so used to watching great mob movies depicting ruthless Italians (Goodfellas and The Godfather), that I’ve forgotten other cultures have their own organized crime syndicates too. The Chinese and Japanese have some mean people doing some very bad things. So do the Columbians. But the cake has to go to […]

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson has some broad shoulders. The question is whether they’re broad enough to hold afloat a movie like The Game Plan. It’s a movie type in which many have tried to succeed in (Hulk Hogan in Mr. Nanny and Vin Diesel in The Pacifier come to mind) and failed. […]

I tend to get my guard up whenever I go into the theater to see a movie like The Kingdom. I always expect an overdose of political activism or some other jaded point of view that the writer and/or director wants to stuff down my throat. This, I believe, is the second such […]

Damn, my ass hurts. A lot. No it’s not from sitting in an uncomfortable seat at the theater for 96 minutes to watch Good Luck Chuck. It’s from being raped repeatedly by those who would release a hunk of shit movie like this and disguise it as an off-the-cuff romantic-comedy.
That’s right, Good […]

Lying, it’s the way of the world. You’ve got to be good at it if you’re going to succeed in today’s society (sorry God). Children lie to their parents if they think it will get them out of trouble. How many times has little Johnny pointed the finger at his younger brother […]

You’ll have excuse when I say I don’t get my hopes up when I go to see comedies starring members of the Saturday Night Live cast. Too often the movie is beyond stupid and they always try way too hard to be funny (case in point, Hot Rod). So sucking it up in […]

Everyone has had a teacher or two they hated. Mine was the high school gym teacher, Mr. Hastings. He was a hairy, squat man with rotten teeth and breath that could melt a steel I-beam. He had no idea what the hell he was doing, so he’d just make the class do […]

Westerns rule. They’re one of the best and easiest types of movies to make. They’ve got the best villains available. They’ve got heroes everyone can relate to and cheer for. Usually, they’ve got beautiful, strong willed women whose support and love aid the family unit in its time of need. […]

Sometimes movies look so much better on paper and storyboards rather than on an actual reel of film. Such is the case with Shoot ‘Em Up. It is every writer’s wet dream, a movie light on plot, dialogue and substance; heavy on nonstop action, including incredible gun and knife fights, car chases, aerial battles […]

Question. Why does Hollywood think all the rural and desolate areas in the southern United States are filled with inbred, whacky rednecks who want to cause harm to the rest of society? I’ve met thousdands of southerners, many of whom I figured were the accidental offspring of close relatives (I used to work […]

We’ve all said it before, more so after we’ve established a family of our own. God forbid, if something were to happen to someone we love, we’d kill the bastards responsible. We’d hunt them down like a prey animal and first do unimaginable things to them for the pain they’ve caused us. […]

Usually parody films are a successful endeavor (the original Scary Movie and Not Another Teen Movie are examples) because they’re easy to make. For the most part the story is already constructed, so all the writers have to do is come up with funny filler material and their off to the races. Coupling […]

Didn’t Jet Li retire last year? I guess the allure of making mostly grand action movies is just too strong – just like the smell of chocolate is irresistible to a fat person – because he is back and kicking ass in War.
This time, instead of being involved in some obscure Chinese tale (i.e., […]

Did I miss the memo outlining Hollywood needing to remake movies that didn’t need to be remade? Apparently so, because just a few weeks ago, Invasion of the Body Snatchers was remade for the third time with The Invasion. This weekend (not sure why it couldn’t wait for Halloween), the 1978 horror classic […]

With a bit of time to kill, I figured I’d get another limited release, independent picture watched and reviewed before it hits the DVD shelves in September. This time the victim, I mean movie, is The TV Set and the initial looks are promising. It’s directed by Jake Kasdan and produced by none […]