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Movie Review: The Last Exorcism (2010) »

I’ve never been one to believe in the hocus-pocus, piece of schlock that is the Bible. I’m sorry if this offends any fanatics, but it’s just how I feel. Although I was raised as a Catholic, even as a child I found the stories of Jesus’ resurrection and God’s seven-day creation plan to be just [...]

Movie Review: Survival of the Dead (2009) »

George A. Romero not only created the modern zombie horror genre, but he is still considered by many as the master of genre — even with mostly unsuccessful films like Land of the Dead and Diary of the Dead. Personally, I can’t call myself a huge Romero fan, but I am a horror film connoisseur [...]

Movie Review: Piranha 3D (2010) »

Spring break: Sun, water, ear-splitting hip hop music, booze-swilling horny guys, brazen bikini babes — and millions of razor-sharp teeth. Welcome to Lake Victoria, the fictional locale of Piranha 3D, the remake of Joe Dante’s 1978 movie of the same name. The film’s “coed rowdy-party” setting isn’t one you usually see in the work of [...]

Movie Review: The Final Storm (2010) »

At this point I’ll consider myself a masochist. With a bad taste in my mouth from my viewing of Stoic, I continued on my Uwe Boll obsession and decided to watch his latest film The Final Storm, an apocalyptic thriller which stars Lauren Holly and Steve Bacic as a suburban couple who invite Silas (Luke [...]

Movie Review: Splice (2009) »

Frankenstein author Mary Shelley could not have foretold that her gothic tale of an errant scientist who creates a man/monster out of the limbs of dead bodies would become a harbinger of things to come with the emergence in the 21st century of the science of genetic engineering. Instead of stitching together body parts, today’s [...]

Movie Review: A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010) »

I know that remakes or jumper-cable reboots are a necessary, and inevitable evil in the movie business, but I do get so tired of these disproportionately disappointing efforts. Regardless, I do admit I was looking forward to this remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street but only because of the casting of Jackie Earle Haley, [...]

Movie Review: The Crazies (2010) »

The scene: Ogden Marsh, a peaceful Midwestern town of ~1,000 where everyone knows everyone and it is safe to keep the doors unlocked and windows open at night. Certainly not the place one would ever imagine a neighbor ruthlessly killing another. And that is what makes The Crazies all the more creepy. [...]

Movie Review: The Wolfman (2010) »

Even with the much publicized production upheavals (directorial changes, reshoots and pretty much everything else that could be altered at the most inopportune moment) plaguing The Wolfman, is it too much to ask to ask for a movie that, while drawing inspiration from its 1941 source, retools — in inventive ways, mind you — the [...]

Movie Review: Legion (2010) »

Legion is the second movie in so many weeks with a theme riddled with supposed religious overtones (The Book of Eli being the other). Instead, however, of delving into the way spiritual power can lift the hopes of the downtrodden, first time director Scott Stewart’s vehicle delves into how the power of God can [...]

Movie Review: Daybreakers (2009) »

Ethical vampires practicing abstinence from human blood isn’t a premise I easily buy into. My attitude may be an unfortunate side effect from the entertaining, if silly Twilight films. But I can put aside my skepticism for a story with intriguing ideas and parallels to our own real-world challenges. On first impression, Daybreakers appears to [...]

Movie Review: The Final Destination (2009) »

The major difference in the fourth installment in the Final Destination series, The Final Destination is that it’s also available in 3D. Whilst the 3D is good, I’ve seen it done better. It follows exactly the same formula as the others, and it’s an entertaining way to spend an hour and a half, but [...]

Movie Review: Livestock (2009) »

Blood. Sex. Demons. Director / writer Christopher Di Nunzio mixes these ingredients together and cooks up a curious blend of gangster film and supernatural horror in his first feature-length film, Livestock. If you are a horror fan with a healthy appetite for blood and gore, you just might enjoy Di Nunzio’s effort.
It’s chicks’ night out [...]

Movie Review: Antichrist (2009) »

This is the 30th revision of my review for Antichrist and if I thought any more about it, I’d probably revise it twenty more times. Lars von Trier has easily put forth the most deeply symbolic and deeply scarring “Hitchcockian-like” horror film in decades. He has literally slapped the face of convention [...]

Movie Review: Paranormal Activity (2007) »

Somebody up there likes me, and so I light a candle at the altar of the movie gods in thanks for delivering to this scare-starved horror buff a horror film worthy of the name. Written, produced, and directed by Oren Peli on a micro budget of $15,000, Paranormal Activity reinforces what The Blair Witch Project [...]

Movie Review: Let the Right One In (2008) »

Thomas Alfredson’s 2008 vampire film Let the Right One In isn’t so much a horror film as it is a coming of age drama which happens to have a vampire as one of the two leads. Strikingly beautiful, nicely written and perfectly executed, it probably won’t be well received by all horror fans, but as [...]

Movie Review: Pandorum (2009) »

Isolationism, claustrophobia and delirium are motherfuckers — especially when they’re mixed together with the darkness of space. Pandorum is word roughly devised to describe this scenario and director Christian Alvart hopes his movie of the same name can scare the shit out of you because of it. It can’t.
Not for any reason other [...]

Movie Review: Zombieland (2009) »

There are 32 rules, as of this writing, to ensure survival from a zombie infestation. That is of course if you want to believe what “Columbus” (Jesse Eisenberg), a young awkward kid who just so happens to find himself surviving a zombie plague in the latest undead flick Zombieland, has to say.
Your best to [...]

Movie Review: Jennifer’s Body (2009) »

I swear, one can make a movie about absolutely anything, get Megan Fox to star in it and they can retire in the lap of luxury. Ordinary men, you see, don’t give a rat’s ass about whether the movie in question is any good; they just want to see a super hot chick in [...]

Movie Review: Sorority Row (2009) »

2009 may well be remembered as the year of the remake or reinterpretation of classic B-film slasher movies. Sorority Row — an update of The House on Sorority Row — continues this trend. Regrettably, it appears new ideas may be a little thin on the ground. It’s disappointing because the genre is [...]

Movie Review: B.T.K. (2008) »

Michael Feifer’s B.T.K. describes itself as ‘a fictional film based on a real character’. That character is the serial killer Dennis L. Rader, who was arrested in March 2005 for the murder of ten people, in a killing spree that spanned two decades. Rader was known as B.T.K. because of his penchant for binding, torturing [...]

Movie Review: Severance (2006) »

Christopher Smith’s British, comedy-horror movie Severance is advertised as The Office meets Deliverance. I’m not really a fan of this mix of genres, as it’s almost impossible to get the mix right – the comedy dilutes the horror and vice versa. So as I expected, Severance is not as funny as the prior and not [...]

Movie Review: All the Boys Love Mandy Lane (2006) »

Jonathon Levine’s All the Boys Love Mandy Lane, starring Amber Heard (Alpha Dog, Pineapple Express) was released over a year ago in the UK, but horror fans in the U.S. are still waiting. So will it be worth the wait?
Mandy Lane (Heard), is every teenage boy’s fantasy. She’s blonde, she’s beautiful, she’s innocent, and she’s [...]

Movie Review: Drag Me to Hell (2009) »

Isn’t the fact that gypsies smell like cabbage and bring down the value of your house if they move into your neighborhood enough of a reason to hate them? Apparently not — Sam Raimi has given us another reason to dislike them: They’ll cast a hex on you if you shame them. [...]

Movie Review: Lesbian Vampire Killers (2009) »

Leave it the Brits to throw a spot of humor into the realm of horror movies again. Shaun of the Dead relentlessly poked fun at zombies in 2004 and in doing so made Simon Pegg a star here in the states. Lesbian Vampire Killers isn’t going to make anyone a household name — [...]

Movie Review: The Uninvited (2009) »

Am I crazy or is Elizabeth Banks the new hot commodity in Hollywood? From where I sit, it seems as if she’s starring in nearly every movie made! Usually, however, she can be seen in some form of a comedy. Not in the The Uninvited. She sets aside the granny panties [...]

Movie Review: Friday the 13th (2009) »

There are several reasons I don’t venture out to the woods for week long drunken camping trips. One, sleeping on the ground is not comfortable. We invented the box spring mattress for a reason. Two, I have an extreme dislike to the thought of becoming grizzly bear food. Three, well the [...]

Movie Review: Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (2009) »

There are several kisses of death a movie franchise may experience, including, but not limited to:

The original writing/directing team deciding to move on to other projects
The main actor or actress in the franchise deciding to not be involved in the latest project
The decision to make a prequel
Casting Paris Hilton to star in the film

In the [...]

Movie Review: The Unborn (2009) »

It’s a bad sign when the predominant reactions to a horror movie are sarcastic shout outs and hysterical laughter. Contrary to expectations, The Unborn delivers the unintentional laughs but not the scares. It’s beginning to look like horror movies aren’t supposed to be scary anymore.
Strange things are happening to teenager Casey Beldon (Odette Yustman). [...]

Movie Review: Tokyo Gore Police (2008) »

With a name like Tokyo Gore Police, it was simply impossible for me to not want to see this movie. And in some perverse way (locked away deep in the recesses of my mind), I’m glad that I did. The Japanese have singlehandedly fine tuned the art of making freakishly bizarre cult movies [...]

Movie Review: Twilight (2008) »

Writing a book or screenplay with vampires in it has got to be one of the easiest gigs around. These mysterious and charming undead basically lend themselves to just about any scenario possible — generally making said scenario that much more intriguing (its got a vampire in it, duh!). Proof in point: Twilight. [...]

Movie Review: The Haunting of Molly Hartley (2008) »

If a “Ten Commandments” existed for horror films, then the first commandment would no doubt be, “Thou Shalt Be Scary”. It becomes clear from what transpires in the 15 minutes-or-so opening sequence that The Haunting of Molly Hartley breaks that commandment. From that point on, it’s downhill all the way.
This movie is the latest in [...]

Movie Review: Eden Lake (2008) »

Hope. Survival. Retribution. Happy endings. Years ago, these were the standard outcomes in the horror genre. Nowadays, we jaded human beings like things a bit edgier — and more unpredictable. James Watkins’ new movie, Eden Lake keeps to this new tradition. A movie about a romantic weekend gone horribly awry, the film’s title is [...]

Movie Review: Saw V (2008) »

It may not be such a rarity these days for a premise with a central character to make its way to a sequel or even a trilogy. Something has to be said when a film franchise gets into the higher number of installments — a pentalogy is certainly worth some praise. That, however, [...]

Movie Review: Quarantine (2008) »

Shame on me for not doing a background check on the latest horror film out of Hollywood, Quarantine. If I had, I would have noticed it was a remake of the foreign horror film [Rec], which, incredibly, is still currently enjoying a cinematic release overseas. That’s right, they didn’t even wait until the [...]

Movie Review: Mirrors (2008) »

Six years ago the Hollywood remake of The Ring was one hell of an awakening to the freakish world of J-Horror (Japanese Horror) films. The Grudge, while not as good as the aforementioned, was pretty eerie as well. A semi-steady stream of crap like One Missed Call and the more recent The [...]

Movie Review: The Strangers (2008) »

I consider myself a very big horror buff, and many of my favorite movies are in the horror genre. Horror does something that no other types of movies can do – when they’re done right, they can make you feel for the characters that are being put through such emotions like fear and agonizing pain. [...]

Movie Review: Teeth (2007) »

To describe the premise of Teeth sort of spoils some of the fun of the movie but unfortunately some spoilers are needed to let anyone thinking of watching this movie (especially men) know what their getting into. This movie is graphic, shocking, and cringe-worthy at times, but also a great sex-ed commentary on abstinence. It [...]

Movie Review: Zombie Strippers! (2008) »

What do you get when you combine the living dead with exotic dancers? Zombie Strippers! of course! I must say, I’m amazed it took so long to make a film devoted to these two mainstays of American culture. I’ll also say, I wouldn’t have minded if it took a bit longer, because this [...]

Movie Review: Doomsday (2008) »

Let me preface this by saying that Doomsday is, by no stretch of the imagination a good movie, but it is a shit load of fun and a hell of a ride. It’s messy, its inconsistent, and full of major plot holes but it does one thing many movies fail to do, and that is [...]

Movie Review: The Signal (2007) »

The Signal is a limited release horror movie that I had very high expectations for ever since I saw a trailer for it last year. It is directed by three different people (David Bruckner, Dan Bush and Jacob Gentry), who each do a separate segment of the story. This movie is absolutely fantastic and by [...]

Movie Review: The Eye (2008) »

Due to my extremely short attention span, I’m guessing the Hollywood raid into the Japanese horror genre started with The Ring. Next on the borrow list was The Grudge. The success of these movies inspired several uninspiring sequels and in 2008, two – yes, two – brand-spanking new copies hit the theaters: One [...]

Movie Review: The Deaths of Ian Stone (2007) »

I figured before I sat down to watch the most hyped films of the winter, I’d schedule in one more low-budget, limited release flick. This film made its debut at the After Dark Horror Fest earlier this year and duly disappeared again. That’s a shame because the individuals I spoke with who attended [...]

Movie Review: Jack Ketchum’s The Girl Next Door (2007) »

There aren’t many movies that I’ve seen that have made me want to turn away or jump through the screen to change the outcome. I knew after reading the synopsis of Jack Ketchum’s The Girl Next Door, this was going to be one of those films – after all, nothing spells heartbreak and brutality [...]

Movie Review: P2 (2007) »

Sadly, I missed P1 when it was released last year. But seeing as it was such a good horror movie, Summit Entertainment has been good enough to bring P2 to the theaters. Yes, I’m kidding. There was no film titled P1 that I am aware of and aside from a single advertisement [...]

Movie Review: Saw IV (2007) »

Ever get the sneaky suspicion that someone does something with less than admirable intentions? That’s what I felt when I sat down to watch and review Saw IV. After all, since the original Saw was released in 2004, Lionsgate has bankrolled sequels every year, each film still remarkably making a healthy profit while [...]

Movie Review: 30 Days of Night (2007) »

There are a few things in this world that make me uncomfortable. Being stuck in a barren wasteland is one of them. And although I’m not a person who fears the dark, something about being stuck in it for and extended period of time sends shivers down my spine. I’m also not [...]

Movie Review: Resident Evil: Extinction (2007) »

I have to confess that until now, I’ve had the pleasure of avoiding this whole Resident Evil business; I haven’t seen either of the previous two films (Resident Evil and Resident Evil: Apocalypse) or played much of the Capcom games which, I gather, are only tangentially related to the premise at this point. So, [...]

Movie Review: Wrong Turn 2: Dead End (2007) »

Question. Why does Hollywood think all the rural and desolate areas in the southern United States are filled with inbred, whacky rednecks who want to cause harm to the rest of society? I’ve met thousdands of southerners, many of whom I figured were the accidental offspring of close relatives (I used to work [...]

Movie Review: Halloween (2007) »

Did I miss the memo outlining Hollywood needing to remake movies that didn’t need to be remade? Apparently so, because just a few weeks ago, Invasion of the Body Snatchers was remade for the third time with The Invasion. This weekend (not sure why it couldn’t wait for Halloween), the 1978 horror classic [...]

Movie Review: The Invasion (2007) »

The Invasion. How many people knew this was being released? I didn’t. Seems Warner Bros. didn’t put a lot of stock into either; no premier and a limited amount of advertising basically ensured this movie would receive little to no fanfare. Makes a person wonder whether the movie is worth watching, [...]

Movie Review: Beneath (2007) »

Last night in a moment weakness (also known as boredom) I sat down to watch Beneath. It’s an MTV production and even though they’ve had their hands in some relatively good movies lately like Blades of Glory and Jackass Number Two, I set my set my expectations low enough to not be upset if [...]

Movie Review: Skinwalkers (2006) »

Werewolves seem to be enjoying a resurgence. The Underworld series and to a lesser extent, movies like Blood and Chocolate has made them cool again. And as of late there certainly appears to be a lot of buzz about Skinwalkers. I’m not entirely sure why, but whatever the reason, it was enough [...]

Movie Review: Wind Chill (2007) »

To be perfectly honest, I had no idea what to expect when the opportunity to watch Wind Chill presented itself the other day. I knew nothing of the story other than there were some ghosts harassing some stranded college kids. So like I do with all movies, I buttered my popcorn, sat back [...]

Movie Review: Captivity (2007) »

Many moons ago I heard some major rumblings about the upcoming movie Captivity. Apparently, there were a few movie posters plastered around that were extremely shocking and horrifying to passer-bys. This coupled with the fact that the very hot Elisha Cuthbert was starring in it caused a major buzz. Cuthbert being held [...]

Movie Review: 1408 (2007) »

Hotel rooms suck. No matter how gaudy or pretty they’re made up, they still suck. I know this because I travel nearly every week and spend way too much of my time in them. My problem with them is I simply never quite know what has happened in the room prior to [...]

Movie Review: Rise: Blood Hunter (2007) »

Vampires. I don’t think there is a cooler, monstrous entity imagined. They’re immortal. They’re tough as nails. They drink blood. Can they be any more awesome? It sure can — Lucy Liu can be cast as a bloodsucker. Now they’re smokin’ hot. Rise: Blood Hunter puts them [...]

Movie Review: Bloodlines (2007) »

It’s just one of those weeks. I don’t have much interest in going to the theaters to watch anything. If only I were important enough to get screeners to the summer blockbusters. Instead, I get access to the bottom of the barrel flicks — flicks like Bloodlines. I guess I can’t [...]

Movie Review: Hostel: Part II (2007) »

Let me first start by saying, I never watched Hostel. There was something about glorifying the abject horror of torture made my stomach tense up and do a flip. Fast forwarding a few years and my stomach has gotten stronger on the inside (flabbier on the out). It’s probably a side effect [...]

Movie Review: 28 Weeks Later (2007) »

In 2002, we were introduced to the rage virus in 28 Days Later…. At the end of the movie we were made to assume that all will be well after mainland Britain was quarantined. But guess what? The rage is back in 28 Weeks Later and it’s badder than ever.
28 Weeks Later [...]

Movie Review: The Hills Have Eyes II (2007) »

I hate warm beer. I hate it almost as much as I hate wet farts. But what I hate even more than both of those, are movies that offer nothing of worth to the viewer. They’re simply pushed out of the studio to lift a few of our hard earned dollars [...]

Movie Review: The Reaping (2007) »

From a religious perspective, I’ve never considered myself a non-believer but more of a sideline believer. I am fascinated by the Bible shows on the Discovery and History channels. So without question, I had to get out to the local cineplex to catch a viewing of The Reaping. It seemed to have [...]

Movie Review: Fido (2007) »

It’s been awhile since a zombie movie offered us something different. Usually, the movie will focus on a band of people trying like hell to survive an onslaught of flesh hungry living dead. While still the same premise Dawn of the Dead reinvigorated the genre with updated special effects and surprisingly mobile zombies. [...]

Movie Review: The Messengers (2007) »

Nothing gets the blood flowing better in the morning than a scary movie based on some freaky, paranormal shit. Then again, a good shot of whiskey coupled with a mind-numbing blowjob will do the trick too. Unfortunately, I don’t get much of the latter anymore, so The Messengers are going to have fulfill [...]

Movie Review: The Hitcher (2007) »

I’m going to begin this review by saying I’m no fan of remakes. To often they reek of shit and mean people are out of fresh ideas. However, due to a boring Saturday night, I decided against my better judgement and sat to watch The Hitcher. I hate myself for it.
Let me [...]

Movie Review: Scary Movie 4 (2006) »

With a moment to kill, I sat back with a cold Yuengling, a box of Wheat Thins and a jar of peanut butter and watched the latest Wayans brothers offering: Scary Movie 4. Now as always I try and be fair and watch all movies with an open mind - no preconceived notions here. [...]

Movie Review: Underworld: Evolution (2006) »

Not sure about you, but I’ve always been a buff on the unknown, supernatural stuff. I’ve always been intrigued by vampire tales or ghost stories. The stranger and scarier the better. So without a doubt, I wanted to see the second installment of the Underworld series, Underworld: Evolution.
Underworld: Evolution has a simple [...]

Movie Review: The Amityville Horror (2005) »

Why, oh why, do I do this to myself? I must be a glutton for punishment. That’s really the only way to explain my reasoning to watch The Amityville Horror.
Where should I begin. I knew this movie had to suck ass before my wife and I sat down to watch it. The [...]

Movie Review: The Ring Two (2005) »

Last night, the wife and I sat down expecting to get a good scare before going to bed. She had her popcorn. I had high hopes. Although, I wasn’t a huge fan of the first movie (it reminded me of the shitty scarefest FearDotCom), I figured The Ring Two would be better. [...]

Movie Review: Hide and Seek (2005) »

The basic premise of the movie: a family man takes his daughter from their city home where a tragedy had occurred, to a country cottage where all hell breaks loose.
Hide and Seek has a great cast so I expected good things. Robert DeNiro still has some acting left in him. Dakota Fanning is [...]

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