I'm an old, miserable fart set in his ways. Some of the things that bring a smile to my face are (in no particular order): Teenage back acne, the rain on my face, long walks on the beach and redneck women named Francis. Oh yeah, I like to watch and criticize movies.
Many a man believes Megan Fox is an angel. Not necessarily one that resides in heaven with a halo over its head, mind you, but more in the you’re in my sexual fantasies kind of way. In Passion Play, Mitch Glazer’s directorial debut, Mrs. Fox combines both elements — she pouts and purses her lips…
Most won’t admit it but women can be every bit as rude, crude and lewd as a man. Hell, get a girl to a male revue and put a few drinks in her and she’ll prove women can be even nastier than a guy. So with that notion and the fact girls are catty as…
Hannibal Lecter is the perfect example of a sociopath — a man who can think up and carry out unspeakable horrors without so much as batting an eyelash. Lord Naritsugu Matsudaira, in 13 Assassins, is the perfect example of a sociopath with unlimited power and influence. He rapes, mutilates and murders with impunity. Even more…
Why, oh why, do people move into those big Victorian-style homes; you know, the ones with too many rooms and too few lights to illuminate them? It can’t be for the coziness and charm! You’d think by now people would know that 90% of those houses, according to the Horror Convention Law, are conduits for…
There are at least 100 Christmas movies in circulation (go ahead and count them, I’ll wait). I’m guessing maybe a dozen or so movies with a Thanksgiving theme. Easter movies? I can’t think of a single one (those made for television specials like Yogi the Easter Bear don’t count). With such a gaping void ripe…
This may be a first. Usually movies involving aliens from another planet are either of the cute M&M eating or the conquer and/or destroy Earth variety. The alien in Paul — looking and acting much like Roger from American Dad! — is of the quick witted, pot smoking, foul mouthed variety. Precisely the demeanor of…
Although I hadn’t seen the original 1970s Charles Bronson flick, it wasn’t difficult to figure out rather quickly what the plot trajectory for The Mechanic was. This isn’t necessarily a death knell for an action movie — what is is the lack of any heart thumping action. And that people, is exactly the case here;…
