Articles by Dan Franzen

The Critical Movie Critics

For more reviews, visit Frothy Ruminations, the oldest review site you've never, ever heard of. Now in color! Remember - there's no need not to be critical. Kittens are critical of you; we should learn from them. And who doesn't love kittens? Ergo, cogit sum! QED! Whatever. I'm going to go have a kitten sandwich. Don't wait up.


Movie Review: The Nest (2020)

Jude Law (“Captain Marvel”) plays an “entrepreneur” who moves his American family back to his home country of England so he can work for his old company in, The Nest, a deathly slog of a movie directed by Sean Durkin. This movie is so slow moving it practically runs in reverse, with an almost phobic…

Movie Review: Blood Quantum (2020)

A zombie outbreak has hit the world pretty hard in Jeff Barnaby’s gnarly apocalyptic horror thriller Blood Quantum. Well, except for the isolated Mi’kmaq reservation, whose inhabitants appear to be immune the virus. As the Native peoples are beset by townies and tourists alike who stream to their lands seeking refuge and possibly a cure,…

Movie Review: The Barge People (2018)

If Charlie Steeds’ The Barge People had been released in the 1980s or 1990s, it would have been released by Full Moon or Troma. That’s certainly no slight on those two companies, but rather a nod to two true-blue schlock producers of recent times. The plot is uncomplicated, the performances not overly nuanced, and the…

Movie Review: Exit Plan (2019)

Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (“Gods of Egypt”) stars as Max, an insurance detective with a growing tumor in his brain. As part of one of his investigations, Max discovers a place called The Aurora, sort of a bespoke-assisted-suicide facilitator. The place seems outwardly helpful but maintains quite the mysterious aura. What method does one wish for one’s…

Movie Review: Becky (2020)

Have you ever wondered what it would be like if Kevin James, Mr. Paul Blart himself, decided to take on a serious role? What if that role were that of a jacked-up neo-Nazi who terrorizes a family at their lakeside home? Boy and howdy, wonder no more, for here comes Becky, a solid, exciting, jarring,…

Movie Review: Escape from Pretoria (2020)

Francis Annan’s Escape from Pretoria describes the real-life adventures of political captives Tim Jenkin and Steven Lee as they attempt to leave the titular prison before their sentences are up. Set in the apartheid era of South Africa, the film spends most of its run-time within the walls of the prison itself, leaning on a…

Movie Review: Trauma Center (2019)

Trauma Center, a brutally dull alleged action movie that nominally stars Bruce Willis (“Glass”) as a world-weary cop, is not the kind of movie that anyone will remember in ten years, or, for that matter, even later this year. Its premise is flimsy, its execution is disjointed, its acting is atrocious, and its conclusion is…

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