Brian Goldner

Movie Review: G.I. Joe: Retaliation (2013)

Loud, confusing, pointless and plotless are not exactly words one likes to use in a film review, but in this case, these terms are more than an apt description of G.I. Joe: Retaliation, the second G.I. Joe movie (the Hasbro Studio generation, not the classic 1945 picture starring Robert Mitchum). And like the company’s last…

Movie Trailer: G.I. Joe: Retaliation (2013)

Because I was a big fan of Cobra Command in my youth, I smiled at the trailer for G.I. Joe: Retaliation when a large portion of the G.I. Joe team are shot to hell up. The smile faded shortly thereafter. Best as I can tell, this sequel (of the less than stellar “G.I. Joe: The…

Movie Review: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009)

After 100 rewrites and multiple directors, it was impossible to not think the absolute worst of G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. Not screening for critics didn’t help the cause either. The reason for our occlusion became abundantly clear after viewing — those rewrites and reshoots added up to nothing more than expensive mediocrity; high…

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