Spring break: Sun, water, ear-splitting hip hop music, booze-swilling horny guys, brazen bikini babes — and millions of razor-sharp teeth. Welcome to Lake Victoria, the fictional locale of Piranha 3D, the remake of Joe Dante’s 1978 movie of the same name. The film’s “coed rowdy-party” setting isn’t one you usually see in the work of [...]

I don’t consider myself the conventional nerd. I’m not interested in technology; in fact I have trouble finding out how to change the screen resolution on my computer monitor. I don’t read comic books — except for those couple of times where I sat adjacent to the graphic novel section in Borders. To top of [...]

As I watched Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore, a few questions came to mind. Will the children who comprise the film’s target audience understand the allusions to James Bond, Austin Powers, The Terminator, and Silence of the Lambs? Will the unfortunate adults in the audience for whom these allusions are no doubt [...]

The incompatible buddy cop movie has been beaten to death. You can thank Beverly Hills Cop, Lethal Weapon, Rush Hour, their umpteenth sequels and every other knock based off of those movies you can think of for that. Adam McKay, the man behind such comedic wonders as Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy [...]

What’s the first movie you think of when the Roman Empire comes to mind? Was it Gladiator? With its compelling storyline, brutal battles and scantily clad women, it’s hard for it not to be. Well, there is no resemblance to that in Neil Marshall’s foray into this subject and time period. [...]

Angelina this. Angelina that. I’m sick and tired of hearing about Brad and Angelina and their countless marital problems, but I guess I’m alone on this one because the mass media still manages to profit from the misery of these mediocre (at best) performers. I honestly don’t know whose still in Jolie’s fan base — [...]

When you heard that Mads Mikkelsen was starring in a film about a Norse crusader, you probably got pretty excited just as I did. However, the marketing, specifically the previews, set this movie up for a fall. It is presented as a hard-hitting, gritty period piece about the Christianization of Scandinavia. But that’s misleading. [...]

“You are the One.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Yes, you are. You must believe in your powers.”
Bad thing happens.
“Oh, okay, I’m the One.”
Yes, I’m paraphrasing and no, I’m not regurgitating the dialogue from The Matrix. The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, the new Jerry Bruckheimer produced Disney film is.
The guy trying to do the convincing is Balthazar (Nicolas Cage), [...]

Close your eyes. Transport yourself back to 1987. The high energy and surprisingly entertaining movie Predator has torn up the box office. A sequel has to follow. But in this alternate reality, Predator 2 never gets made. Neither do those abysmal Alien vs. Predator flicks. Now open your eyes. [...]

There’s just something about Westerns that screams out, “Mesh me with other genres.” Perhaps it’s because most traditional westerns are one-note bores that fail to gain any recognition (don’t get your panties in a bunch — I said “most”) and the application of futuristic weaponry and demonic spirits seems like a surefire way to breathe [...]

M. Night Shymalagong came to mainstream recognition through his work on The Sixth Sense, which he both wrote and directed. It was nominated for several Academy Awards including: Best Picture, Best Director, and Best Original Screenplay. Oops, excuse me, before I continue on with this review, I must correct myself — I’ve been informed that [...]

Tom Cruise used to be the personification of “badass.” He struggled to become the best pilot he could be in Top Gun, he overcame the impossible in Mission: Impossible and of course, he tackled a dystopian future in Minority Report. But it seems like the action-hero has aged quite poorly and these days he’s tackling [...]

At this point I’ll consider myself a masochist. With a bad taste in my mouth from my viewing of Stoic, I continued on my Uwe Boll obsession and decided to watch his latest film The Final Storm, an apocalyptic thriller which stars Lauren Holly and Steve Bacic as a suburban couple who invite Silas (Luke [...]

I’m one of the few people who consider Uwe Boll an important film-maker. It may be sad but it’s true. But let me explain my reasoning. Though Mr. Boll, who finances his own cinematic exploits, has not directed a single note-worthy film (except for being notoriously bad), he shows dedication and balls. It takes a [...]

Then: The A-Team, an 80s television show good for pathetically bad stories, overall bad acting, a shitload of random explosions, gun battles in which no one gets shot, and the rise of a mohawked bad-ass Mr. T (a man, by the way, that had no right to find himself in that situation). It [...]

I’m not entirely sure how I feel about Robin Hood the latest telling of the fabled defender of the poor. On one hand, it is a nice change of pace to see the legendary archer bloodied and dirtied — no finely penciled mustaches or tailored suits (ala Errol Flynn). On the other hand, [...]

The Road centers on an unnamed father (Viggo Mortensen) and son (Kodi Smit-McPhee) struggling to survive in a hellish, post-apocalyptic world. Their intense journey will leave you feeling drained but ultimately satisfied. Okay, that last part made it sound like I was reviewing a porno. Emotionally drained is a better description for how the movie [...]

The road to box office success for movies based off of video games is potholed and strewn with broken down, bombed out carcasses (remember BloodRayne and In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale?).That doesn’t, however, stop the mostly concept-bankrupt power brokers of Hollywood from churning them, and films based off of [...]

There must have been a reason why I found the initially positive response to director Jorma Taccone’s MacGruber so ominous. Perhaps it was the fact that Taccone’s past cinematic exploits only include an actor credit for Land of the Lost and Hot Rod but it’s more likely that I found the eight positive [...]

It’s hard to pinpoint exactly when I gave up any hope of enjoying this film. Possibly it was the moment I saw Liam Neeson dressed in tin-foil armor. Or maybe it was the image of Sam Worthington riding a giant CGI scorpion through the desert. Regardless, by the halfway mark I was already considering using [...]

I want one of those super computers that create 3D images in real space that you can interact with — expand/collapse models, move them here and there, zoom in for close look and then out again for a macroscopic vantage — not because I actually have anything important to do, but because Tony Stark spends [...]

Every time something tragic involving a youth occurs — whether it be unhandled rage or mental breakdowns — it seems that the “prestigious” physicians and psychiatrists employed for the good ‘ol government have an answer. They usually disregard the obvious answer — prior mental or emotional issues — and blame the aggressor’s hobbies for his [...]

If you could see me as I’m writing this review for Cop Out you’d see that I’m laughing my ass off. Not because the latest incompatible cop buddy movie which pairs Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan together is funny — oh no my friend — I’m laughing because this film is so far from [...]

The scene: Ogden Marsh, a peaceful Midwestern town of ~1,000 where everyone knows everyone and it is safe to keep the doors unlocked and windows open at night. Certainly not the place one would ever imagine a neighbor ruthlessly killing another. And that is what makes The Crazies all the more creepy. [...]

The 1970s were more than just about polyester bell bottom pants, experimentation with mind altering drugs or unprotected group sex (or was that the 60s?). Whatever the case, I’m quite sure it was the time of the blaxsploitation film. Stereotypical black characters (pimps, pushers, thugs, etc.) in stereotypical locations (ghetto and/or other urban [...]

Via my forced high school readings of a novel or two and landing on a movie during a bored late night channel surf, I’m not surprised I remember very little of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s creation Sherlock Holmes. Literally, the only things that come to mind are: He was a condescending bastard who smoked [...]

Legion is the second movie in so many weeks with a theme riddled with supposed religious overtones (The Book of Eli being the other). Instead, however, of delving into the way spiritual power can lift the hopes of the downtrodden, first time director Scott Stewart’s vehicle delves into how the power of God can [...]

It is not often that an action film almost passes me by, but Blood and Bone very nearly slipped through my net! This is a bad-ass action film with fight scenes so good I had to rewind and watch again! Although it does lack in certain areas, no martial arts fan should let this one [...]

Maybe you’re like me, wondering why 9 out of 10 post apocalyptic visions of the world are barren wastelands with bands of miscreants marauding little bands of honest folk with little to no hope. Then again, maybe you’re not. No matter, The Book of Eli, follows along a similar route to that of [...]

Ethical vampires practicing abstinence from human blood isn’t a premise I easily buy into. My attitude may be an unfortunate side effect from the entertaining, if silly Twilight films. But I can put aside my skepticism for a story with intriguing ideas and parallels to our own real-world challenges. On first impression, Daybreakers appears to [...]

Credit, in some form, has to be given to Terry Gilliam for actually getting his much anticipated The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus completed. Anticipated, not necessarily because the world needed another Time Bandits or The Adventures of Baron Munchausen type movie but because Heath Ledger, the film’s lead died halfway through filming.
I’m not sure [...]

With Star Trek, Gene Rodenberry sought to “seek out new worlds and to boldly go where no man has gone before.” With the $300,000,000 bombshell that is Avatar, James Cameron can proudly stand with Peter Jackson (remember his little Lord of the Rings trilogy?) and proclaim he too has gone where none have gone [...]

To be perfectly honest, I don’t think Armored ever had a chance of being a stellar action movie. Ah hell — I don’t think it had a chance of being much of anything. To come to that conclusion all I needed to see were these simple facts:

It starred the likes of Laurence Fishburne [...]

If you’re wondering (and you know you are) what a movie strictly built around the use of special effects looks like, look no further than 2012. It’s got a backstory that was clearly etched on a wet napkin during a drinking binge at the local Applebee’s after director Roland Emmerich discussed the idea [...]

For the most part, and don’t dare ask me why, American audiences have become mesmerized with the anime sensation that has swallowed up Saturday morning cartoons with lazy animation and piss poor stories. Why have I mentioned this morsel of worthlessness? So I can come to this conclusion of course:
Kids love anime. [...]

There are 32 rules, as of this writing, to ensure survival from a zombie infestation. That is of course if you want to believe what “Columbus” (Jesse Eisenberg), a young awkward kid who just so happens to find himself surviving a zombie plague in the latest undead flick Zombieland, has to say.
Your best to [...]

Taking the projection of oneself one step further in the digital realm than the abysmal online world of Second Life does, Surrogates imagines a world where true 3D representations move about in the world in place of the living and breathing. Why risk actually interacting with others when one can sit comfortably at the [...]

In the not so distant future, mankind is all but eliminated from the face of the Earth. In the similar fashion as the Terminator films, man built machines that ultimately led to his and all of life’s eradication. Man may be gone, however, but in his place are miniature ragdoll-like puppet creatures imbued [...]

Like many films before, I had seen the trailer to District 9. However, nothing could have prepared me for what I was about to witness when I stepped into Screen 5 to watch the entire film. Trust me, when I say that no amount of description can give justice to the story but I shall [...]

If you’re a fan of Quentin Tarantino’s hip and generally longwinded diatribes, strap your helmet on — Inglorious Basterds is your call to arms (you’ll just have to learn how to enjoy hearing it in French, German and other European flavors). If you’re not a fan of his character’s pontifications — so what — [...]

Marcus Nispel’s 2007 action adventure, Pathfinder is the story of a tribe of Native American Indians who are under threat from Viking marauders hell-bent on ‘cleansing’ the land of Indians before they settle.
The opening montage shows the brutal slaying of a tribe of Indians who literally throw themselves at the mercy of their annihilators, but, [...]

After 100 rewrites and multiple directors, it was impossible to not think the absolute worst of G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. Not screening for critics didn’t help the cause either. The reason for our occlusion became abundantly clear after viewing — those rewrites and reshoots added up to nothing more than expensive [...]

The already darkening skies encompassing the world of Harry Potter have darkened further in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, the sixth installment of the wildly popular movie franchise. Long gone is the baby-faced innocence our would-be wizards once had when they first entered Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. There is now [...]

In contrast to Joseph Sargent’s 1974 original, Tony Scott’s The Taking of Pelham 123 is loud, fast, and action packed from start to finish. Right from the opening credits which roll to Jay-Z’s ’99 Problems’, we know we are in for a hell of a ride. From the outset Scott treats us to his usual [...]

Michael Mann’s recent box office success Public Enemies looked so full of promise. This true story of bank robberies and jail breaks, starring Johnny Depp as the notorious John Dillinger, and Christian Bale as his cocksure antagonist, FBI agent Melvin Purvis, should have it all. At two and a half hours, this should be an [...]

Kathryn Bigelow knows how to make an action movie. She knows how to get the blood pumping, and how to generate nail-biting suspense. Her latest effort is laced with more testosterone than any recent action film. You may recall, she was responsible for the gloriously over-the-top cops and surfers thriller Point Break. Whatever [...]

It didn’t take long for me to realize that after a cute intro involving Scrat the sabertoothed squirrel, Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs was the worst of the Fox animated trilogy. While it still has its cutesy characters — wooly mammoths Ellie (voiced by Queen Latifah) and Manny (voiced by Ray Romano), sloth [...]

After months of hype, Transfomers: Revenge of the Fallen, the mother of all summer blockbusters is finally here and my does it arrive with a bang. Bigger, louder and more in your face than its predecessor Transformers, Michael Bay is true to his word, as he serves up some ass kicking robots.
As the title partially [...]

Admit it, you’re just like me — you really had no idea what Disney Pixar’s latest animated adventure, Up was about. For me, all I knew was it had a grumpy old man, a fat kid, a talking dog and a colorful bird in it. Oh yeah, how could I forget, there was [...]

Even though I couldn’t stand it, the original Night At the Museum was at least original and had a “cuteness” factor to it. Oh, and how could I forget — it made a shitload of money worldwide too. But was it really so great that it needed a sequel? Of course not, but [...]

Just because Arnold Schwarzenegger isn’t the focal point in Terminator: Salvation is no reason to fret and sign the death certificate on an impressive movie franchise. The final product, while very different from the three previous installments, still packs plenty of punch in both the alternate reality and ass-kicking action fronts.
The main differentiator here [...]

I didn’t think I would ever say it this is my lifetime, but it looks like the science fiction obsessed, dressing up and convention going social outcasts known as Trekkies are now getting their due. J.J. Abrams has finally dropped Star Trek into the theaters, a movie which may be the most highly anticipated [...]

Finally. The only interesting character in the X-Men universe has his own movie. No, I’m not referring to Cyclops (although I wouldn’t mind seeing some footage with him and Jean Grey getting down to business). I’m talking about X-Men Origins: Wolverine, the long awaited Wolverine flick that, whether good or bad, will [...]

With a name like Fighting, a movie had better come fully equipped with the goods. That means more bare-handed, mixed martial arts than should be allowed by law. That means more broken bones, cuts, abrasions and black eyes than I care to see. Instead, Dito Montiel directed an implausible, predictable movie that [...]

Who knew mall security personnel were so much of an in thing in 2009? First Kevin James brought us Paul Blart: Mall Cop. Now Seth Rogen dons the blue uniform and tin badge for Observe and Report. Whereas James’ portrayal of a wannabe cop was very innocent and PG in nature, Rogen’s [...]

Wonders never cease. I didn’t think it was possible to create a more adrenaline fueled, mind twistingly deranged action film than Crank. Oh, how wrong I was. Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor have upped the levels of their previous creation fifty-fold with Crank: High Voltage and, in doing so, created a movie [...]

After watching Dragonball Z on Cartoon Network years ago, I became hooked and ended up buying the entire series on DVD. As for the original Dragonball series, I wasn’t such a fan (even though I bought much of it, too). As a consequence, I wasn’t exactly overwhelmed with anticipation to see Dragonball Evolution [...]

The pickings must be slim for Vin Diesel and Paul Walker these days. How else can you explain why they would come back to star in Fast and Furious when they left the series on high notes after The Fast and the Furious eight years ago? You can’t, and this half-hearted attempt to [...]

In Zack Snyder’s brilliant film version of Watchmen, it isn’t business as usual for a group of rag-tag costumed do-gooders living, working, and laying low in the alternate world of a Nixon-era 1985, a time when masked crime fighters have been outlawed. In much the same way as Chris Nolan did for Batman in the [...]

I can’t claim to have seen any of the movies in the “Air Bud” series (Air Bud: World Pup, Air Bud: Spikes Back, Snow Buddies and 50 others) but if they’re anywhere near as bad as this latest installment, I’m glad I can’t make that claim.
Here is a rundown of my viewing experience of Space [...]

There are several kisses of death a movie franchise may experience, including, but not limited to:

The original writing/directing team deciding to move on to other projects
The main actor or actress in the franchise deciding to not be involved in the latest project
The decision to make a prequel
Casting Paris Hilton to star in the film

In the [...]

With a name like Tokyo Gore Police, it was simply impossible for me to not want to see this movie. And in some perverse way (locked away deep in the recesses of my mind), I’m glad that I did. The Japanese have singlehandedly fine tuned the art of making freakishly bizarre cult movies [...]

Is Kevin James the heir apparent to Chris Farley? He’s funny and fat — the two major necessities needed to make that claim are in place. However, I’m not ready to hand the torch to him just yet, especially since I wasn’t exactly a huge fan of his last big screen outing (I [...]

The new year is newly upon us and we already have a comic book adaptation thrust upon us in the form of The Spirit. Yes I know what you’re thinking, I have never heard of this “Spirit” character. Don’t worry I hadn’t either. However, after some painstaking research (thanks Wikipedia), I found out that the [...]

Having mildly enjoyed The Punisher restart four years ago (try and forget the original Dolph Lundgren debacle), I was interested to see how Hollywood was going to grow the character of Frank Castle further in Punisher: War Zone. Inexplicably, the franchise has regressed into a form that defies conventional words.
Okay, maybe there is a [...]

If you were to do a Google search right now for the movie posters of The Transporter and Transporter 2 and then compared them to the poster to the right of this review (in that little box thingy), what similarities do you see? That’s right; they’re nearly exact carbon copies of one another. [...]

Writing a book or screenplay with vampires in it has got to be one of the easiest gigs around. These mysterious and charming undead basically lend themselves to just about any scenario possible — generally making said scenario that much more intriguing (its got a vampire in it, duh!). Proof in point: Twilight. [...]

You just knew the sequel Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa was in the coming. Not only because New Yorker animals Alex the lion (voiced by Ben Stiller), Melman the giraffe (voiced by David Schwimmer), Marty the zebra (voiced by Chris Rock) and Gloria the hippo (voiced by Jada Pinkett Smith) were stranded on an island [...]

A rejuvenated James Bond is back for his 22nd feature film: Quantum of Solace. Building upon the blocks laid down in 2006’s Casino Royale, this movie further “evolves” the Bond experience — presenting itself strictly as a kick-ass, take no prisoners action movie, leaving in the dust the nuances that set 007 apart from [...]

To say I was stunned, shocked and dumbfounded after my viewing of Max Payne would be a bit harsh. I was, however, certainly disappointed in what I saw. No, not because another popular video game had become a casualty of a poor Hollywood interpretation, but because, for all intents and purposes, it didn’t [...]

“Welcome to Guantanamo”, Al-Saleem says to Roger Ferris before he crushes his fingers with a hammer. It is an excruciatingly tense scene that would have gone a lot farther without the obvious shot at the current political landscape. But aside from that, I’ll give Ridley Scott credit; he deftly avoided making the same [...]

There are few writers and/or directors who can successfully intertwine remarkable, seemingly unrelated characters and side stories in a coherent fashion. In the states, Quentin Tarantino, of Pulp Fiction fame, takes the honors. Across the pond, the award goes to Guy Richie, whose body of work contains such memorable films like Snatch. and [...]

War. There are countless reasons for them to be waged and I don’t pretend to know a damn thing about any of them. What I do I understand, however, is along with war comes great sacrifice and loss. Fifty Dead Men Walking is a film set in Belfast during the late 80’s [...]

Miniature dogs may be the most annoying creatures on earth. At first I felt that way because they all tend to have that “yip-yip” bark that can drive any sane person crazy within seconds. Recently a new, more pronounced and powerful reason to hate them has emerged — the super rich dress them [...]

Yes, we know Big Brother is watching us. He’s been watching us for a very long, long time — the digital age and relentless media exposure just makes it that much more in your face. And just like when the internet was the new great unknown, Hollywood tried to capitalize on the horrors [...]

There are few guarantees in life — you’re going to die someday, you’ve got to pay your taxes, no good can come from smoking methamphetamine, and Spike Lee will make a movie that, at its core, has deep, driving racial overtones. Yep, that’s right boys and girls, it is a sure-fire guarantee that Spike [...]

To this day I am still baffled by the concept that Nicolas Cage crossed over to become an action movie star. More often than not, he’s starred in some real clunkers and based off of the fact Bangkok Dangerous is a remake of a Thai film of the same name and not screened for [...]

Some say there is biker blood coarsing through my veins. I can’t imagine why — I’ve only got a Harley, tats running up and down my arms and I run several meth labs in the suburbs. I also dig biker flicks. Even more, I like films in which Quentin Tarantino has had a [...]

Hollywood hasn’t been kind to Vin Diesel. His last movies haven’t done too well at the box-office, so it wasn’t much of a surprise for him to want to return to the science fiction genre that spawned his career a decade or so ago (remember Pitch Black?). Good for him, as I’m sure [...]

Hollywood has stooped to a new low. Sure we’re used to the studios producing some lousy movies. And lately we’ve gotten our fair share of remakes. With Death Race, Universal Pictures has combined the two! That’s right, the “classic” Roger Corman flick Death Race 2000 needed a semi-serious updating.
Okay, Death Race [...]

I can’t think of any board-type games that have had rousing success when crossed over into film. From my limited scope, only a few attempts like Clue and Dungeons and Dragons even come to mind. And seeing that at least two higher priced productions didn’t fare particularly well, there wasn’t much hope going [...]

I don’t know what else to say other than I was dumbfounded when I first caught sight of the trailers for George Lucas’ latest tale in his storied Star Wars franchise – Star Wars: The Clone Wars. The blocky, animated characters looked God awful. The minimal amount of dialogue I heard sounded corny. [...]

Tropic Thunder is a movie about making a movie by not making a movie (or something like that). Director Damien Cockburn (Steve Coogan) assembles himself a “star studded” cast of actors to grace his latest war movie. Tugg Speedman (Ben Stiller) is the group’s has-been action hero in search of a hit, Kirk [...]

It is official. At the age of five, my children hate me. How did I come to this conclusion? Simple, they dragged me to see Space Chimps, that’s how. I tried repeatedly to convince them they’d rather see Pineapple Express to no avail. In the end though, I think they [...]

Pineapple Express is a comedy that could best be defined as having the combined styles of stoners Cheech and Chong and badass action guys Jackie Chan and Steven Seagal. This action filled buddy flick is hampered by a slow start and cheap jokes but is graced with a brilliant luster that can sometimes sparkle [...]

Not sure about you, but I can barely recollect anything of note from the The Mummy Returns or the original The Mummy that would necessitate a third installment. But I guess that is why I am not a producer of big budget films, because apparently there was something there that absolutely needed to be [...]

There’s a new action star in town and it isn’t anyone you would immediately suspect. Does the name Liam Neeson ring a bell? Yes, the same guys who has primarily played the nondescript role for the majority of his career has found his John McClane as Bryan in the French action, quasi-thriller Taken.
Surprisingly, [...]

Most movies surrounded by as much hype as The Dark Knight usually don’t live up to it. This is one rare and shining example of something that I would call close to cinematic perfection. This summer’s blockbuster is a direct sequel to 2005’s Batman Begins, picking up right where it left off, with [...]

Considering the terrible tax situation Wesley Snipes got himself in, it really shouldn’t be a surprise that he’s resorted to doing movies, that for the most part, would have been considered unworthy of his “action-star prowess” during his heyday (which I say was around the time of Blade). But a man’s got to his [...]

A demon, code named Hellboy (Ron Perlman), but called Red by his friends, is saved by paranormal investigators when he is very small and raised to be a defender against the forces of darkness. However, as he has grown into a large, bright red mammoth with an attitude, he wants nothing more than to [...]

General note to all before reading this movie review: if you can’t leave your reasoning and common sense behind, stop reading – Wanted is not for you. For everyone else, continue reading – an entertainment guarantee awaits.
Wanted is the story of a young account manager named Wesley Gibson (James McAvoy) who is suffering [...]

WALL-E is the latest in the line of stellar features from the powerhouse Pixar. It is a romantic story of a small, lonely garbage cleaning robot that finds his purpose is greater than simply gathering trash into piles. Beautiful, charming and with an important message interwoven, WALL-E is flawless.
When the people of earth [...]

Hancock is Los Angeles’ resident alcohol-fueled, low-flying sometimes hero. With all the exciting aspects of an action movie, sparkling comedy and a heartfelt plot, this is the most honest super hero movie I’ve ever seen.
When not drunk, John Hancock (Will Smith) flies around Los Angeles, protecting innocent people from criminals and disaster. The [...]

Get Smart is a simplistic spy guy tale of good vs. evil and smart vs. dumb that tries to capture the allure of the 60’s television show Get Smart. Sadly, this cinematic upgrade should have followed its titular advice when it came to the writing, the acting and the action.
After overcoming personal obstacles, Maxwell [...]

The Hulk has arrived and with him comes the first real action blockbuster of the summer. Yeah sure Iron Man made some big waves, but it was short on bone aching action and heavy on sleep inducing backstory. Director Louis Leterrier and screenwriter Zak Penn make the assumption you know who the Hulk is, [...]

If you have ever wondered what it feels like to be punched in the face repeatedly by Mike Tyson in his prime, wonder no more. Adam Sandler, with the help of Robert Smigel and, gulp, Judd Apatow, have in all of their infinite wit and wisdom provided to you, for the measly cost of [...]

Po (voiced by Jack Black), a clumsy panda and the son of a noodle vendor, dreams of becoming a great kung fu fighter and meeting “The Ferocious Furious Five”. This team of kung fu masters is comprised of Tigress (voiced by Angelina Jolie), Monkey (voiced by Jackie Chan), Mantis (voiced by Seth Rogen), [...]

Can you believe its been 19 years since Indiana Jones graced (used loosely) the silver screen? In this latest installment of the storied franchise, which in my point of view is 18 year overdue, archeology professor and all around bad ass, Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford) is accused of treason when his friend Mac (Ray [...]

Has 1300 years passed already? In the fictional land of Narnia it has and things haven’t been so good for the Narnians since Edmund (Skandar Keynes), Lucy (Georgie Henley), Susan (Anna Popplewell) and Peter (William Moseley) left to return to the real world. Actually, saying things haven’t been so good is a bit [...]

Ingenuity is the mother of invention (or something like that). Since movies being harsh on the war in Iraq and on the current administration of the United States have been bombing (no pun intended) stupendously at the box office, writers Mark Leyner, Jeremy Pikser and John Cusack came up with a nifty idea – [...]

Speed Racer is a fantastical, whirling, spinning, psychedelic abomination with almost no plot, horrific sets and one-liners that would be rejected by Laffy Taffy.

There is but one reason as to why this movie review is so late – I purposely looked to avoid watching Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay. Even though I consider myself an incestuous lover of sophomoric movies, I just couldn’t consummate the affair with the original Harold & Kumar Go to White [...]

Like the wise one says, “Necessity is the mother of invention” and Tony Stark’s mother birthed the crude chrysalis of Iron Man in a cave in Afghanistan. While demonstrating the Jericho Missile, spoiled, womanizing, arrogant weapons manufacturer and brilliant engineer Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) is kidnapped by the Ten Rings terrorist group led [...]

Set in ancient China, The Forbidden Kingdom is a mix of cinematic influences. It stops short of tiresome and of brilliance. It is quality cheese.
Nerdy Kung-Fu enthusiast Jason Tripitikas (Michael Angarano) spends enough time at the local video store to get chummy with the owner Old Hop (Jackie Chan). When Old Hop [...]

Nim’s Island is the latest addition to the ever growing list of children books that have been adapted to the big screen. This time however, instead of taking place in part or in whole in some fantastical fantasy realm (Harry Potter series, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe), this [...]

Horton Hears a Who! is number three of Dr. Seuss books brought to the big screen by Hollywood looking for a new avenue to draw cash from. This movie is slightly different from The Cat in the Hat and How the Grinch Stole Christmas though. Whereas those two films were really just vehicles [...]

Let me preface this by saying that Doomsday is, by no stretch of the imagination a good movie, but it is a shit load of fun and a hell of a ride. It’s messy, its inconsistent, and full of major plot holes but it does one thing many movies fail to do, and that is [...]

No doubt writers Harald Kloser and Roland Emmerich (who also directed) had grand plans for 10,000 B.C.. Spectacular visuals supporting a tall tale set in the ancient world point to a movie with epic aspirations along the lines of Apocalypto and Gladiator. Unfortunately, they didn’t do their “homework”, as the movie is littered [...]

On the surface Jumper looks like a movie I’ve been longing for – an action movie that has a character that actually embraces his or her extraordinary talent and uses it in a realistic manner (i.e., not like a superhero). Of course after seeing the movie, it doesn’t quite live up to my expectations.
The [...]

I get the distinct feeling I’ve seen Fool’s Gold before. Tell me if this premise seems even remotely familiar to you: A reckless loser with a hot girlfriend, convinces her to join him on a perilous adventure searching for buried treasure on the ocean floor. Need some help jogging your memory banks? [...]

Holy viral marketing campaign, Batman. Cloverfield, the latest production from J.J. Abrams (best known for Lost and Alias), may be the most hyped movie of the decade. It was pure genius – the whole country had vivid images of the Statue of Liberty’s head rolling down the Avenue of the Americas for weeks prior [...]

Hey all, my name is Mike but my handle around these parts will be Phntmbanana. I got a chance to take a look at Rambo the new Stallone flick, and it was certainly a view to behold. It pushed the boundaries of violence in movies to a point I have never seen before, and I [...]

With very little on the cinematic horizon for the young ones, I decided to take the boys to see the only game in town that met their demographic: The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie. I really had zero interest in this but that didn’t stop the kids from wanting to see [...]

Rob Reiner has surfaced again, directing arguably two of the most accomplished actors of our time: Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. The vehicle: The Bucket List, a comedy drama that tries to add a new twist to the Odd Couple scenario. Instead of just throwing together two incompatible people, as so many movies [...]

I firmly believe there is a treasure hunter in all of us. The possibility of having your name attached to discovering a lost civilization or an artifact worth a fortune are all things we’ve dreamed about at one time or another. It’s the underlying reason that Indiana Jones was so popular (and still [...]

The Hollywood remake. Love ‘em or hate ‘em, they’re a steady part of our cinema diet. I Am Legend proves once again that Hollywood believes the easiest path to success is to either: make a sequel or take a movie from years past and dress it up with an updated storyline and fresh graphics. [...]

I’m not sure what all the hoopla was surrounding The Golden Compass. I believe it has something to do with the atheistic stance the author of the book from which the movie was adapted from had. Sure there are a few themes that indicate religion is a bad institution, but I don’t recall [...]

Here we go again. Even though the old video game to movie adaption has played itself out some time ago, it has reared it’s ugly head above the surface once more to take a stab at our wallets and pocketbooks. No I’m not talking about a fourth Resident Evil (although I’m certain one [...]

Let me start this particular movie review off by saying I’m a big fan of animated movies. I’m an even bigger fan of films starring real, flesh and blood actors and actresses. I am not however, a proponent of the stop-action animation that mixes these two forms of movies together. Apparently, Robert [...]

I tend to get my guard up whenever I go into the theater to see a movie like The Kingdom. I always expect an overdose of political activism or some other jaded point of view that the writer and/or director wants to stuff down my throat. This, I believe, is the second such [...]

I have to confess that until now, I’ve had the pleasure of avoiding this whole Resident Evil business; I haven’t seen either of the previous two films (Resident Evil and Resident Evil: Apocalypse) or played much of the Capcom games which, I gather, are only tangentially related to the premise at this point. So, [...]

When it comes to Jodie Foster, I’m not one to run to catch the opening show, and Terrence Howard isn’t exactly a Will Smith, but The Brave One turned out just fine. This is an interesting spin on the old street vigilante concept. By the very nature of the material, this qualifies as pulp-fiction melodrama, [...]

Sometimes movies look so much better on paper and storyboards rather than on an actual reel of film. Such is the case with Shoot ‘Em Up. It is every writer’s wet dream, a movie light on plot, dialogue and substance; heavy on nonstop action, including incredible gun and knife fights, car chases, aerial battles [...]

Didn’t Jet Li retire last year? I guess the allure of making mostly grand action movies is just too strong – just like the smell of chocolate is irresistible to a fat person – because he is back and kicking ass in War.
This time, instead of being involved in some obscure Chinese tale (i.e., [...]

A few weeks ago on another movie review blog (DC Girl @ The Movies to be exact), I guessed Stardust would be lucky to break into the top ten for weekend gross on it’s opening weekend. I came to that conclusion based on the fact the trailer seemed cheesy and childish — even if [...]

This is definitely the year of trilogies. Spider-Man 3, Shrek the Third and Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End started the summer season off. Now Rush Hour 3 hits the silver screen and I must say, I’m a bit surprised by this release — after all it’s been six years since Rush [...]

The Bourne Ultimatum is the third installment of the Bourne saga. This movie picks up right after Jason Bourne apologizes to the Neski daughter, without pause after the events of the second film, which may leave newcomers to the series a little perplexed. If you have seen the first two films, which I recommend before [...]

Can you spell low budget? I can. It’s spelled D-I-A-M-O-N-D D-O-G-S. For those that are having a problem with that, I spelled: Diamond Dogs. As everyone knows between screening the monstrous blockbusters all the time, I’ve got to give back to the community now and again. I do that [...]

Here comes Harry Potter for round number five. Will he come out of the corner with the heart of a champion or limp like a homo coming out of a bathhouse? That’s the question I asked as I finally found myself fighting the crowds and going to the cinema last night. It’s [...]

Transformers the new movie by Michael Bay, is based not on a novel, play or screenwriter’s inspiration but on a line of Hasbro toys that have been hot tickets for young boys such as myself for more than 20 years. I could not think of a greater example of a text book summer blockbuster [...]

Thank God for John McClane. That’s right I said it. Where would our great country be, if John McClane was not there to save it time and again? I’ll tell you where — right in the shitter. In Die Hard, he outwitted an international thief holding people in the Nakatomi Plaza [...]

I have to start off by saying that I’m not a huge Fantastic Four fan and hence my review could be partially biased. Having said that, let’s get into the gory details of this movie . . .
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer starts off with our heroes finally settled in with their powers [...]

Chalk up number three of the summer. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End has arrived in theaters and knocked out the oh-so endearing Shrek the Third from it’s elevated position as the weekend top grosser. But isn’t that what we expected to happen? After all, our lovable ogre lost a great [...]

I hadn’t heard much about The Last Legion. But what I had heard was that it wasn’t particularly good — it doesn’t follow any true historical events and the action was rather inactive. Now, I certainly wouldn’t call myself a history major (I’ll leave that to my brother), so the possibility of that [...]

Let me start of by saying that the most memorable part of Next is Nicholas Cage’s hair. I kept thinking of the Nick Nolte mug shot when he got caught for DUI. My main reason to go watch this movie was for Jessica Biel but I just ended up wasting some $10 on a ticket and [...]

Here it is, Spider-Man 3, the most anticipated movie of the year. As a Spider-Man fan for most of my life, I can safely say I was counting down the days for this release. After Spider-Man 2, I found myself yearning for more. Could the third installment best the sequel which actually [...]

Hot Fuzz is the highly anticipated movie from the team (Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg) that created Shaun of the Dead. Whereas Shaun twisted and made light of the zombie genre, Hot Fuzz pokes fun at the cop buddy movie made so famous by movies like Lethal Weapon and Rush Hour. All I [...]

Where do I begin? I never quite know how I’m supposed to start a movie review, when I have already formed my opinion before seeing the film. Maybe I should begin by saying I’m an asshole for going to see a movie I know is going to suck terribly. Or perhaps I [...]

After all the critical acclaim heaved upon Danny Boyle and Alex Garland for helping to redefine the zombie flick with 28 Days Later…, I was definitely excited to see if something similar could be done with science fiction genre. Granted, there are plenty of recent space movies but they’ve all focused on action and [...]

Approximately ten times a year, to the theaters come those animated children movies we, as parents, cringe at. Our children want to go, no matter how bad the movie appears — so long as it has animated animals or dinosaurs or vehicles or rugs. Of those times only one or two of them [...]

Time for a kick-ass action movie — the first of 2007. This time around we’ve got Jason Bourne, going after some bad-ass government officials who have wronged him . . . oops, I’m sorry I’ve got the movie confused. I’m supposed to be reviewing Shooter and I’ve started to review The Bourne Identity! [...]

Has it really been 14 years since the freaky, full-sized, mutant turtles graced us with the presence on the silver screen? Yeppers, the last time I saw them it was in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (I’m not counting television cartoons or straight-to-DVD titles). I’m obviously out of the loop since a great [...]

To be perfectly honest, there was no rhyme or reason as to why I decided to watch this movie. It has little to no fanfare, no actors I particularly like and it’s British. The last British movie I enjoyed was the classic from 2004, Shaun of the Dead. Before that, I can’t [...]

Where do I begin? After all the initial movie reviews and hype surrounding the opening of 300 what else is there to say?
Let me begin, by saying the movie definitely lives up to the fervor surrounding it. You want action? You got it. You want crazy, vivid battle scenes? You [...]

Flame On!
Nicholas Cage character Johnny, blazes the big sceen as the Ghost Rider with some intense visual effects and the fight for the balance of good and evil. Wife and I decided to spend the saturday evening at the movies and of all the choices we had, we decided to go for Ghost Rider as [...]

We’ve all seen the trailers for Smokin’ Aces for the past week or so, depicted a wild movie in which the world’s best contract killers are all gunning for $1,000,000 for killing a mob informant Buddy ‘Aces’ Israel (Jeremy Piven). Who wouldn’t we intrigued by a movie that seems to promise a mile-a-minute rollercoaster [...]

One of my favorite movie franchises has got to be James Bond. The man has it all — fine clothes, awesome gadgets, skills in every study known to man, kick-ass cars and of course, smoking hot chicks who line up to screw him. Who wouldn’t want to emulate that? However, it is [...]

Here we go again. Hollywood has once again decided to take a cheesy, campy 80’s TV show and upgrade it to the big screen. This time it isn’t The Dukes of Hazzard, The Beverly Hillbillies or Bewitched; it’s Miami Vice. And instead of Don Johnson and Philip Michael Thomas as Crockett and [...]

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Johnny Depp is one of the best actors of this generation - even if I have to look past the fact he resides in that shit infested country France. I don’t think there has been a movie starring Mr. Depp that I haven’t found [...]

I want to know what these guys were smoking when they were writing the script for Superman Returns. So what was great about Superman Returns was the possibilities it could have taken with the script. After the beginning credits (which  were a great homage to the 70s/80s version of Superman), the whole film went downhill [...]

Another day goes by and I find I need to put some filler into it, as it isn’t filled with nearly enough activity. So as usual I fire up some popcorn get a cold beverage and watch a movie. This time The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift is the starring title. [...]

After watching the first two X-Men films, I was positive this would be amazing, mind blowing visuals, and above and beyond any fan’s expectations. Instead you are left with an overopulated mutant community. The end result, much the same as elsewhere - resources stretched to the breaking point forcing everyone to settle for less.
The [...]

Ah, summer blockbuster time. Sun is shing brightly, birds are chirping and Hollywood throws our way the movies that will make or break their year. The first movie of the season is Mission: Impossible III starring our favorite actor Tom Cruise as spy Ethan Hunt.
Now I’m the first guy to get in line [...]

After a good long night of drinking, I finally sat down to watch what some are calling one of the best movies this year to come out of Hollywood.  I’m obviously talking about the latest offering by the Wachowski brothers - V for Vendetta.  The movie based off of a UK comic book of the same [...]

Not sure about you, but I’ve always been a buff on the unknown, supernatural stuff. I’ve always been intrigued by vampire tales or ghost stories. The stranger and scarier the better. So without a doubt, I wanted to see the second installment of the Underworld series, Underworld: Evolution.
Underworld: Evolution has a simple [...]

Although, I had never actually read the book - “The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe” (review title shortened, obvioulsy), I had heard a great many good things about it. So, I had high expectations going in to see this movie.
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe [...]

Some of you may or no may not remember, many moons ago MTV had a show called Liquid Television which was a show that gave air-time to independant animators. Aeon Flux was one of the more notable entries (as was Beavis and Butthead).
So I decided to give the big screen adaption a shot, as [...]

I won’t call myself a devoted follower of the Harry Potter phenomenon dreamed up by J.K. Rowling, while she slept on the streets of Edinburgh. I would say, however, that I am a man who enjoyed the first three movies enough to look foward to seeing the latest incarnation: Harry Potter and the Goblet [...]

There is a point where both video game fanatics and film buffs will want to see that neither the movie will try to be too much like the game nor the game too much like the movie… Or that the movie be too much like the others before it. But sadly, I walked away from [...]

Let me start this review by saying that if my wife, whom I love dearly, didn’t want to watch this move, I wouldn’t have gone near it. I’ll be the first to admit Jodie Foster is a top-tier actress, but that fact didn’t outwiegh the notion that Flightplan is a hokey piece of shit.
First, [...]

Quite honestly I can say, I had absolutely no interest in watching this movie. However, after hearing people fawn over Jessica Alba, I figured I’d give it a go. Luckily, I wasn’t dissapointed. . .
Yeah, I know suddenly you’re thinking ‘Mr. Peach must have enjoyed the movie’. Wrong. I expected [...]

Just what the doctor ordered. A good ‘ole street-banging action flick by none other than John Singleton(whatever happened to him after Boyz n the Hood?). Four Brothers chronicles the actions of 4 adopted boys who seek to exact revenge on the people who killed their adoptive mother. . .a slight twist to the [...]

With my folks in town and some time to kill, we decided to sit back and watch the latest Wes Craven psychological thriller Red Eye. Personally, I had absolutely no idea what this movie was about except for the fact it had some shit to do with a plane and crazy guy.
So, going into [...]

Well, it was bound to happen again. No, I don’t mean that the sun will surely rise in the east, as it always does. I mean, another attempt has been made to bring a comic book to the silver screen.Fantastic Four is another attempt by the movie studios to cash in on the [...]

Finally, a rendition of Batman that most fans of the comic book would be proud of. At least that was the hope I had when I finally sat down to watch Batman Begins.
Let’s start where the producer’s of Batman Begins got it right. Without a doubt, they nailed the persona of Batman. [...]

Hmmm. . .Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt in the same movie. Arguably, the two best looking actors in the world. Initial thoughts? Mr. & Mrs. Smith has to suck. When the media focuses on the couple after filming the movie goes downhill. . .remember that shitfest Gigli? So needless to [...]

I’ve finally given in. No, not to the dark side(unless of course you speak to my wife), rather I’ve finally given in and decided to watch Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith. After the first two debacles (episodes I and II), I was weary to say the least.
Let’s start by [...]

DON’T PANIC. Every fan of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy trilogy (actually 5 books) were overheard repeating DON’T PANIC. Even I wondered aloud if the the big screen could even remotely capture the essence of the written material.
Let’s just say I was pleasantly surprised. This could have easily been a train [...]

I went into this movie knowing full well D.E.B.S. was going to be a close second to that shitfest Elektra. But, I had to take a chance on chicks with short skirts, thigh highs, and the chance of lesbian make-out scenes. I’m a man, damnit!
However low my expectations were, I was still disappointed! [...]

Wow. Another comic book…err, I mean graphic novel to movie adaptation. Which one am I talking about now? Sin City of course. An obscure graphic novel by the man who single-handedly made Batman cool again - Frank Miller. Although, most of the latest comics to movies have sucked ass (see Electra, [...]

Let’s begin by saying I like Bruce Willis. Always have. Any man that bagged Demi Moore, is alright in my book. So I looked forward to checking out his latest movie Hostage. How can Hollywood screw up a movie that seems so similar to one of the greats: Die Hard?
Movie starts [...]

How is it possible to create a worse movie than Alone in the Dark? Easy, dump out a piling heap of shit and title it Elektra. Now let’s be realistic. I knew the movie was going to be a waste of time and money. I watched this movie for two reasons. One, it was free. [...]

Ok, I’ll admit it, I went into this movie thinking it was a pile of horseshit. Everyone I knew (and their mothers) claimed this movie sucked ass. “Shit movie” and “Keanu Reaves can’t act”, are a few of the remarks I’ve heard. Although I can’t argue the latter opinion, I make a case on the [...]