To be perfectly honest, I don’t think Armored ever had a chance of being a stellar action movie. Ah hell — I don’t think it had a chance of being much of anything. To come to that conclusion all I needed to see were these simple facts: It starred the likes of Laurence Fishburne and…
If you’re wondering (and you know you are) what a movie strictly built around the use of special effects looks like, look no further than 2012. It’s got a backstory that was clearly etched on a wet napkin during a drinking binge at the local Applebee’s after director Roland Emmerich discussed the idea of making…
First time director Peter Billingsley (you may remember him as Ralphie in A Christmas Story) picked the wrong film to make his directorial debut on. Even with big names signed on and a successful raunch-comedy template in place, Couples Retreat fails to deliver the big laughs, hell, if I’m being honest, it pretty much fails…
Taking the projection of oneself one step further in the digital realm than the abysmal online world of Second Life does, Surrogates imagines a world where true 3D representations move about in the world in place of the living and breathing. Why risk actually interacting with others when one can sit comfortably at the house…
In the not so distant future, mankind is all but eliminated from the face of the Earth. In the similar fashion as the Terminator films, man built machines that ultimately led to his and all of life’s eradication. Man may be gone, however, but in his place are miniature ragdoll-like puppet creatures imbued with the…
Meeting your soul-mate and future husband at the age of six is an enough of an unusual scenario on its own. But to topple that — the guy in question is going on forty when you first see each other and wearing nothing but a blanket in a hedge. As an innocent member of the…
After 100 rewrites and multiple directors, it was impossible to not think the absolute worst of G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. Not screening for critics didn’t help the cause either. The reason for our occlusion became abundantly clear after viewing — those rewrites and reshoots added up to nothing more than expensive mediocrity; high…
