Movie Review: Eagle Eye (2008)

Yes, we know Big Brother is watching us. He’s been watching us for a very long, long time — the digital age and relentless media exposure just makes it that much more in your face. And just like when the internet was the new great unknown, Hollywood tried to capitalize on the horrors of it with the awful movie, The Net. In an equally ridiculous fear-hyping scenario, today’s version of that movie is Eagle Eye.

Instead of Sandra Bullock getting the short end of the stick, this time around Shia LaBeouf is the lucky recipient. He plays Jerry Shaw, a tumbleweed of sorts — he moves into a town, works a “no-brain needed” job and moves onto the next locale when he gets the itch to move on. But someone has a need for him (and many other ordinary citizens) to help see their dastardly plot come to fruition. Jerry finds out someone has him in mind for their master plan when learns that his twin brother, Ethan, is killed under questionable circumstances and when a mysterious voice on his cell phone begins giving him instructions as to what do, so as to not end up like his brother.

At first I swore I was watching a terrible imitation of The Matrix. The voice on the line begins to tell Jerry how to escape from FBI agent Thomas Morgan (Billy Bob Thornton) and Air Force investigator Zoe Perez (Rosario Dawson) — duck in four seconds, jump through the open window, turn left, speed up, etc. But after making his escape, and meeting up with a fellow “game” player Rachel Holloman (Michelle Monaghan), I realized I wasn’t watching a parody, I was watching a completely unoriginal movie that was just really, really bad.

There are plot holes and action sequences so incredulous that I found I couldn’t stop myself from laughing out loud (mind you Eagle Eye is not a comedy). Allow me to just mention a few of the implausible scenes — you may just get a chuckle from reading about them.

  • As Jerry and Rachel race around the city, their vehicle gets crashed into multiple times and yet they still manage to outrace a dozen police.
  • For ordinary law abiding citizens, Jerry and Rachel are at ease holding up an armored truck and slipping past Secret Service agents.
  • The voice manages to get control over every single thing in our society —televisions at a Circuit City, traffic lights, and is even able to predict with an amazing amount of certainty the actions of everyone in the populace!

But it doesn’t end there. To tie all the loose ends together and to try to make the movie make some semblance of sense, the screen writers (John Glenn, Travis Wright, Hillary Seitz and Dan McDermott) concoct one of the most pathetic climaxes ever imagined. And when the “ringmaster” and the reason for the scheme is revealed, it is more that enough to convince you to walk out of the theater if you hadn’t already.

Yet the biggest baffle for me was how anyone could have convinced Billy Bob Thornton, Rosario Dawson and Shia LaBeouf to star in Eagle Eye. Surely they knew how the movie was going to turn out after reading just a few pages of the script. Therefore, I am certain, whoever sold them on this screenplay may just be the best used car salesmen in the world and undoubtedly someone to avoid at all costs. Eagle Eye is a clunker, no matter how you see it dressed up. Take my word for it.

Critical Movie Critic Rating:
1 Star Rating: Stay Away


Movie Review: Beverly Hills Chihuahua (2008)
Movie Review: Tortured (2008)

The Critical Movie Critics

I'm an old, miserable fart set in his ways. Some of the things that bring a smile to my face are (in no particular order): Teenage back acne, the rain on my face, long walks on the beach and redneck women named Francis. Oh yeah, I like to watch and criticize movies.

'Movie Review: Eagle Eye (2008)' have 14 comments

  1. The Critical Movie Critics

    October 11, 2008 @ 7:56 pm Tracy

    I was skeptical of this one at first, but it was actually very exciting and had me on the edge of my seat.

  2. The Critical Movie Critics

    October 26, 2008 @ 7:22 pm patrick

    isn’t Eagle Eye the one where Shia LaBeouf becomes Indiana Jones? dang, now i’m all confused…

  3. The Critical Movie Critics

    November 2, 2008 @ 11:46 pm Sithis

    Look, I’ve watched eagle eye, you arrogant shit, and I loved the movie. it reminded me somewhat of the matrix but took it in a totally different direction.
    The movie was one of the best I’ve seen in years and you’re advizing people against it? If you hated this movie then I think you should get any other job besides being a movie critic. Take your 5 shit piles and go fuck yourself asshole!
    don’t ruin a good movie jerk-off!

  4. The Critical Movie Critics

    November 3, 2008 @ 6:16 am General Disdain


    Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

  5. The Critical Movie Critics

    December 21, 2008 @ 2:21 pm Zen

    Look, people, this punk is only doing his job…he needs to feed his family…or whatever. If you actually watch this movie with no intentions of increasing reputation in the “movie critic world”…you will notice that this is actually the best movie of 2008…at least i think so. F.Y.I the car chase scene in this movie is the best I’ve seen in years. And comparing this movie to the matrix is just plain damn foolish. Thats the bottom line you punk….

  6. The Critical Movie Critics

    December 21, 2008 @ 3:02 pm General Disdain

    @ Zen,

    What a very un-zen-like comment. But since you made it, I’ll address.

    First, I have no need to increase my reputation in the “movie critic world” and I make little to no money from doing this. I like movies and I have a relatively informed opinion.

    Secondly, sure the car chase was fun to watch, but it had zero believability. You’ll also note I was only comparing the “escape” to The Matrix, which this film blatantly rips off.

    Lastly, if you consider this to be one of the best movies of 2008, I’ll kindly ask that you refrain from ever watching a movie again. The acting is so bad, and there are so many plot holes coupled with unrealistic and over-the-top sequences that I’m rather surprised I didn’t make this a contender for the worst movie of 2008.

    By the way, thanks for stopping by and taking the time to make a comment . . .

  7. The Critical Movie Critics

    September 8, 2009 @ 2:48 pm Online Gamer

    One of the best movie i have ever seen this year! Totally wonderful.

  8. The Critical Movie Critics

    September 26, 2009 @ 4:38 am 1000 gamesing

    I have watched this movie too and without doubt I can say that it’s fantastic.

  9. The Critical Movie Critics

    October 4, 2009 @ 11:07 am Lunker City

    Its a wonderful movie

  10. The Critical Movie Critics

    November 3, 2009 @ 2:34 pm mobile games

    Yesn i am agree with yoy?this is realy good moovie.

    • The Critical Movie Critics

      November 4, 2009 @ 8:20 am General Disdain

      Yesn i am agree with yoy?this is realy good moovie.

      Who are you agreeing with? I said the movie was terrible.

  11. The Critical Movie Critics

    December 21, 2009 @ 4:16 am Avalon

    Great movie. Shia LaBeouf did a really good job. He seems to be getting better with each movie.

  12. The Critical Movie Critics

    December 30, 2009 @ 9:51 pm Cheap Glass

    I agree. The movie was quite good. But I think it could have been much better. Especially the whole story line. It was quite predictable.

  13. The Critical Movie Critics

    January 4, 2010 @ 5:03 pm Mike Morgan

    As someone in the security business, I agree with your poo poo rating. This movie was weak and the plot stunk to the high heavens.

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