Feature: Top 10 Fat Person Movies

While sitting on the couch eating a microwavable burrito I was suddenly inspired to reach back into the recesses of my mind and compile a list of movies starring fat people. No other reason except I needed to fill in the two minutes of downtime I had while waiting for the other burrito to warm up.

Here was the criteria I used (nothing scientific here): has to have a fat person starring in the movie (duh); fat suits count; no sequels (unless fat person was introduced in the sequel); weight has to be or be implied to be at least approximately 300 lbs.

10		Disorderlies — The Fat Boys did their best to bring the Three Stooges into the ’80s. Watching Mark Morales, Darren Robinson and Damon Wimbley huff, puff and wheeze through a movie is a most pleasing phenomenon. Who knew they could rap and act?
9		Big Momma’s House — Martin Lawrence pretends to be an elderly woman. After the success Eddie Murphy had in his fat suit, Martin needed to show he had game too. It worked because it’s one of the few movies where everything he does is funny. Big Momma’s House is better than all his other movies combined.
8		Planes, Trains and Automobiles — John Candy was a BIG funny man. It was tough choice between this movie and Uncle Buck. The edge goes to PTA due to the great chemistry between John Candy and Steve Martin. A must see.
7		The Santa Clause — Tim Allen, in a fat suit, gets stuck with Christmas duties when Santa becomes incapacited. This is a very original and very funny movie. Too bad they’ve watered it down so much with the lame sequels.
6		The Nutty Professor — Eddie Murphy as the hefty Professor Sherman Klump. The dinner table scene alone is worth the price of admission. So is the Dave Chappelle scene. This is better than the Jerry Lewis original.
5		Shallow Hal — Now we know how Gwyneth Paltrow would look if she were 350 lbs. She’s not particularly attractive as a skinny broad, but with a fat suit on she is 1000 times worse.
4		Tommy Boy — Chris Farley was the reincarnation of John Belushi — only funnier. Tommy Boy is when he was at his best — totally coked up and out of control. David Spade tries his damnedest to keep up.
3		Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me — The introduction of Fat Bastard. Mike Myers, in a fat suit, should win an award for playing this character. He’s absolutely disgusting. And how many times did you hear someone say, “Get in my belly!”?
2		What’s Eating Gilbert Grape — Darlene Cates as the 500+ pound mother of a retarded kid. Seeing a person this large is hard enough to fathom. Having to watch one on the screen and wanting to throw things at them is even harder.
1		Pink Flamingos — No words can describe. Just know, Divine would’ve attempted anything possible for a gross out — up to and including eating shit. You’ll have to see it to believe it.

Surely, I’ve missed a few. School me on which ones I should have included and if I agree I’ll edit.