It’s quite disconcerting when people in the theater laugh at something they’re supposed to laugh at — even if it isn’t funny. That’s the way I felt during the entire two-hour running time of Garry Marshall’s New Year’s Eve, his “superior” sequel to 2010’s Valentine’s Day (though that isn’t saying very much). I don’t know,…
If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear Garry Marshall was trying to break the unofficial record he set in “Valentine’s Day” by jamming even more A and B-list actors into his new romantic comedy New Year’s Eve. The ultimate result is they are all a part of your basic multi-threaded movie that intertwines the…
Then: The A-Team, an 80s television show good for pathetically bad stories, overall bad acting, a shitload of random explosions, gun battles in which no one gets shot, and the rise of a mohawked bad-ass Mr. T (a man, by the way, that had no right to find himself in that situation). It did, however,…
Fap fap fap fap. Whirrrrrrr. Fap fap fap fap. Whirrrrrr. I’m not going to explicitly tell you what those sounds represent. What I will tell you is they go in conjunction with what men, ages 18 to 50, will do when they catch a glimpse of a naked Jessica Biel in the straight to DVD…
Leave to Adam Sandler and his Happy Madison Productions production company to find another ridiculous premise to bring to the cinema. Instead of a retarded football player (“The Waterboy”), a freaky little man-whore (“Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo”) or a morally corrupt child actor (“Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star”) we get male fire fighters pretending to…
Let me start of by saying that the most memorable part of Next is Nicolas Cage’s hair. I kept thinking of the Nick Nolte mug shot when he got caught for a DUI. My main reason to go watch this movie was for Jessica Biel but I just ended up wasting some $10 on a ticket…
