Jessica Biel

Movie Review: New Year’s Eve (2011)

It’s quite disconcerting when people in the theater laugh at something they’re supposed to laugh at — even if it isn’t funny. That’s the way I felt during the entire two-hour running time of Garry Marshall’s New Year’s Eve, his “superior” sequel to 2010’s Valentine’s Day (though that isn’t saying very much). I don’t know,…

Movie Trailer: New Year’s Eve (2011)

If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear Garry Marshall was trying to break the unofficial record he set in “Valentine’s Day” by jamming even more A and B-list actors into his new romantic comedy New Year’s Eve. The ultimate result is they are all a part of your basic multi-threaded movie that intertwines the…

Movie Review: The A-Team (2010)

Then: The A-Team, an 80s television show good for pathetically bad stories, overall bad acting, a shitload of random explosions, gun battles in which no one gets shot, and the rise of a mohawked bad-ass Mr. T (a man, by the way, that had no right to find himself in that situation). It did, however,…

Movie Review: Powder Blue (2009)

Fap fap fap fap. Whirrrrrrr. Fap fap fap fap. Whirrrrrr. I’m not going to explicitly tell you what those sounds represent. What I will tell you is they go in conjunction with what men, ages 18 to 50, will do when they catch a glimpse of a naked Jessica Biel in the straight to DVD…

Movie Review: I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry (2007)

Leave to Adam Sandler and his Happy Madison Productions production company to find another ridiculous premise to bring to the cinema. Instead of a retarded football player (“The Waterboy”), a freaky little man-whore (“Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo”) or a morally corrupt child actor (“Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star”) we get male fire fighters pretending to…

Movie Review: Next (2007)

Let me start of by saying that the most memorable part of Next is Nicolas Cage’s hair. I kept thinking of the Nick Nolte mug shot when he got caught for a DUI. My main reason to go watch this movie was for Jessica Biel but I just ended up wasting some $10 on a ticket…

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