Articles by General Disdain

The Critical Movie Critics

I'm an old, miserable fart set in his ways. Some of the things that bring a smile to my face are (in no particular order): Teenage back acne, the rain on my face, long walks on the beach and redneck women named Francis. Oh yeah, I like to watch and criticize movies.


Movie Review: Veronica Mars (2014)

If you were to travel back to the nondescript year of 2004 in your time machine (hopefully of the hot tub variety) and tune into one of those crappy upstart TV stations (the CW in this case) you’d find a little show about a girl detective who, while solving campy mysteries, also has to deal…

Movie Review: Nurse 3D (2013)

The plot of Nurse 3D is clearly spelled out in the beginning of the movie when a sluttily dressed woman named Abigail Russell seduces a married man at a bar, slices open his femoral artery and pushes him over a roof ledge while saucily confessing to the audience she does things like this to cleanse…

Movie Review: 47 Ronin (2013)

The weathered feudal Japanese tale of ronin seeking revenge for their fallen lord, one would think, lends itself nicely to the themes of fantasy. Samurai, their unwavering courage and swordsmanship intertwined with magical elements and mystical creatures represents a marriage made in heaven. Unfortunately, in director Carl Rinsch’s 47 Ronin, this marriage does little justice…

Movie Review: That Awkward Moment (2014)

Anyone who has been in a relationship, in one form or another, should be able to recall that sometimes uncomfortable realization when their casual dating had become something more serious. Jason (Zac Efron, “The Lucky One”), in That Awkward Moment, has dubbed that instant when a girl asks, “So, am I your girlfriend now?,” or…

Movie Review: I, Frankenstein (2014)

If Mary Shelley were alive today she would cry at the sight of I, Frankenstein, the latest movie that wrongly tries to make an action hero of a classic universal monster. Thankfully, though, she is dead, so turning over in her grave is the most we can expect to see from her. Adapted from a…

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