Aaron Seltzer

Movie Review: Vampires Suck (2010)

Parody films have steadily gotten worse and worse — the lure of the quick and easy buck has severely outpaced the need for inventive writing, good directing and skilled comedic acting. All one has to do is write up an ill-conceived plot that revolves around a current trend, toss in a bunch of no-name and/or…

Movie Review: Disaster Movie (2008)

Do we really have to go through this again? Apparently so, because the boys behind such hits like Epic Movie and Meet the Spartans (yes, I am being facetious) are at it again with Disaster Movie. With a name like that did you think they were peering into the future? I certainly thought so and…

Movie Review: Meet the Spartans (2008)

My God….is all I can muster after seeing Meet the Spartans. I even questioned the existence of God after watching this abomination. To call this a movie would be a complete raping of the word movie. To call it a bad movie makes me wish I spoke a different language, just so I would have…

Movie Review: Epic Movie (2007)

Well, I had hoped that the comedy parody movies had ended with “Scary Movie 2,” as it was the last time I saw a funny movie of this type. But then they went ahead and clubbed me like a baby seal and came out with two more in the franchise and then the unspeakably bad “Date…

Movie Review: Date Movie (2006)

After a long week of air travel, conference calls and children who feel the need to jump up and down on my head, I needed a break. So, figuring I had laughed my ass off at the spoof movie, “Scary Movie,” I looked forward to laughing my ass off at Date Movie. Boy, I couldn’t…

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