Date Movie (2006) by The Critical Movie Critics

Movie Review: Date Movie (2006)

After a long week of air travel, conference calls and children who feel the need to jump up and down on my head, I needed a break. So, figuring I had laughed my ass off at the spoof movie, “Scary Movie,” I looked forward to laughing my ass off at Date Movie. Boy, I couldn’t be more of an asshole if I tried.

Date Movie is a horrible piece of rank shit. I firmly believe the director of this movie didn’t even bother to try. For fucks sake, the least he could have done was to at least make an attempt to make a funny movie. It is a crying shame when Hollywood rapes the public like this. Even more of a shame is the actors who worked on this movie. They didn’t do it for the craft . . . they did it for a paycheck. Surely, they knew there wasn’t a shred of anything worthwhile in this movie. Alyson Hannigan you should be ashamed. Eddie Griffin, ashamed.

Date Movie had such promise too. There are literally a hundred teen heart-throb movies to lampoon. We all shake out heads when we see a scene we’ve seen 50 times before and sigh “not again.” (Yeah, you know you’ve watched those movies — stop acting like you didn’t). I can’t even describe what Date Movie is trying to do. They simply throw everything conceivable at the wall and hope to hell something ends up being funny. Hell, I’m a guy who loves fart jokes, but even the scene with the cat squeezing out a turd wasn’t funny.

It’s real simple folks. You’ll hate yourself if you see this movie. I’ll hate you too. I simply have no fucking idea how this movie is making any money (it has grossed $21,812,384 so far). If you want to see a good a movie that pokes fun of the romance genre with success; see “Not Another Teen Movie.”

Critical Movie Critic Rating:
1 Star Rating: Stay Away


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The Critical Movie Critics

I'm an old, miserable fart set in his ways. Some of the things that bring a smile to my face are (in no particular order): Teenage back acne, the rain on my face, long walks on the beach and redneck women named Francis. Oh yeah, I like to watch and criticize movies.

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