Movie Review: Disaster Movie (2008)

Do we really have to go through this again? Apparently so, because the boys behind such hits like Epic Movie and Meet the Spartans (yes, I am being facetious) are at it again with Disaster Movie. With a name like that did you think they were peering into the future?

I certainly thought so and from the looks of it they were right. Disaster Movie is a disaster. Like their previous movies, writer-directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer once again throw every disgusting and poorly thought out pile of shit at the screen in mad fashion hoping at least one will hit its mark and make someone, somewhere laugh. And when I say, “in a mad fashion”, I really mean it. Nearly every instance of the past years’ movies and pop culture is lampooned in rapid fire succession.

Loosely, the film (if it can actually be called that), is built around Cloverfield – Will (Matt Lanter), after getting a premonition of his town being destroyed, sets off to find his ex-girlfriend Amy (Vanessa Minnillo). Along the way he collects an entourage consisting of a Fat Albertish Calvin (Gary ‘G Thang’ Johnson), Calvin’s girlfriend Lisa (Kim Kardashian), a crazed Enchanted Princess (Nicole Parker) and a Juno-esqe Juney (Crista Flanagan). Together they bounce into asinine scenarios that make fun of such movies like:

involving terrible imitators of wanna-be and has-been celebrities like:

  • Amy Winehouse
  • Dr. Phil
  • Flava-Flav

while intermixing pop culture references about:

  • Ebay
  • Head-On
  • Facebook

for reasons I can’t fathom. None of them are funny. That’s right, I didn’t crack a smile at any of the jokes (no, not even the breast milk spray made me laugh), which is a new low because even in Friedberg and Seltzer’s previous cashouts, I managed a laugh or two. I did however manage a smile while gazing at Ms. Kardashian’s tits and ass. They are big and bountiful; Reggie Bush must be a happy man (assuming she never speaks).

It’s clear, even for a blindman, that absolutely no thought or effort went into Disaster Movie. I can only suspect the reason people continue to see movies this poorly made is to see how bad they actually are. I implore everyone who reads this to take my word for it – this film is the ass end of a pig. Editing Smokey the Bear’s message to fit the need, “Only you can prevent movies like this from being made.” Stop going already.

Critical Movie Critic Rating:
1 Star Rating: Stay Away


Movie Review: Babylon A.D. (2008)
Movie Review: Miss Potter (2006)

The Critical Movie Critics

I'm an old, miserable fart set in his ways. Some of the things that bring a smile to my face are (in no particular order): Teenage back acne, the rain on my face, long walks on the beach and redneck women named Francis. Oh yeah, I like to watch and criticize movies.

'Movie Review: Disaster Movie (2008)' have 9 comments

  1. The Critical Movie Critics

    August 30, 2008 @ 12:40 pm Ben

    Rest assured I won’t be wasting my time or money on this. Even the trailers look terrible.

  2. The Critical Movie Critics

    August 30, 2008 @ 4:38 pm Jayson

    When did Carmen Electra become the defacto bimbo for these movies? She’s been in Meet the Spartans, Epic Movie, Date Movie, Scary Movie and now this!

  3. The Critical Movie Critics

    August 30, 2008 @ 5:00 pm General Disdain

    When did Carmen Electra become the defacto bimbo for these movies?

    Hadn’t thought about it, but now that you mention it she certainly seems to have become the “defacto bimbo”. Yet strangely she wasn’t in Superhero Movie; I guess she is only sleeping with Friedberg and/or Seltzer…

  4. The Critical Movie Critics

    August 31, 2008 @ 11:59 am Greg

    I want my money back….absolutely the stupidest movie I have ever
    seen. We wanted to get out after fifteen minutes of this crude humor.
    I couldn’t believe the number of young teens that were in there
    watching this trash (without parents I might add). If the theaters
    had to offer a satisfaction guarantee, this type of movie would soon
    fade out of existence. Did I mention I want my money back?

  5. The Critical Movie Critics

    September 2, 2008 @ 6:24 am NordicTrack

    Absolutely shity movie – but i love C ELectra

  6. The Critical Movie Critics

    September 3, 2008 @ 12:03 pm Dan

    Greg, I ask you. Why did you spend money on it in the first place. It’s tiring hearing the same rants over and over from people who can’t tell a horrific movie from just watching the trailer. If you saw Ironman get crushed by that cow and Hancock hit his head on the lamppost in the trailer, and STILL went to go see this movie, I have no pity for you. In fact, I am glad you lost your money on it. Maybe this time you’ll learn to not waste your money on the next and probably last Seltzberg film

  7. The Critical Movie Critics

    September 16, 2008 @ 6:02 pm TimmyTom

    Went to see this because Pineapple Express was sold out, of course I was expecting a repeat of [Insert “clever” name here] Movie, but we were all curious to see how terrible it actually was. The jokes are so dated and cliché, for example, Michael Jackson molestation joke…
    Various celebrity impersonations being thrown at you from out of the blue made me want to break down and cry. I was expecting a feeble attempt at comedy but this a disgrace to human intelligence, Terribad.

  8. The Critical Movie Critics

    September 29, 2009 @ 11:44 am bou

    jason friedberg f*uck me

  9. The Critical Movie Critics

    March 26, 2013 @ 7:04 pm classoffitness

    Well carmen electra wasn’t it Date Movie, howerver she was in Scary Movie & Scary Movie 4, Disaster Movie, Epic Movie and Meet the Spartans.

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