Movie Review: Jennifer’s Body (2009)

I swear, one can make a movie about absolutely anything, get Megan Fox to star in it and they can retire in the lap of luxury. Ordinary men, you see, don’t give a rat’s ass about whether the movie in question is any good; they just want to see a super hot chick in compromising positions. I’m an ordinary man but my “job” as a critic forces me to look beyond my simplistic Neanderthalistic wants and desires. So here it goes . . .

Jennifer’s Body, Diablo Cody’s latest (best known for her Juno screenplay), falls mostly under the aforementioned description as the premise is actually halfway good. Ms. Fox is Jennifer, the hottest commodity at Devil’s Kettle High School — every boy wants her; none can have her. Until of course, Jennifer is inhabited by a demon that requires flesh to keep satiated. Now every boy, ugly or not, nerd or not, finds themselves the object of her bloody desires. It’s only until she sets her eyes on Chip (Johnny Simmons), the boyfriend of her best friend Needy Lesnicky (Amanda Seyfried), that she must be stopped.

While the premise is original, it’s in the delivery of the movie where the stumbling can be found. But first let me say there probably isn’t another lady in Hollywood that could have pulled this role off — I believe it was literally written with Megan Fox mind. Why? Simple, Megan Fox oozes sex out of every pore on her body and is super obnoxious, and it is these two primary traits her character proudly puts on display throughout. No acting talent needed, even though it would have been nice to see if she has the ability to be anything other than eye candy. She doesn’t.

Anyways, one of the sticklers for me that I had to deduct points for is the Juno-isms that made Diablo Cody’s first film so endearing are out of place in Jennifer’s Body. The hip and culturally relevant quips get monotonous after awhile — who woulda thunk that they don’t work so well for a blood sucking sex demon as they did for an outcasty, too smart for her own good pregnant girl. I can’t really argue that they’re there (they are what made Cody an instant hit) but if used in moderation the film would have carried itself much better. And even though I was more impressed with the teen angst-horror marriage here than in Twilight, it still felt clunky. Director Karyn Kusama shoulders much of this blame for this as there are a few editing mistakes and several scenes that seemed out of place.

Horror may seem like an easy genre to infiltrate, especially since both writer and director have had past successes in their short careers. Jennifer’s Body proves that it ain’t so easy to get right. Yet, like I said at the beginning of this review — movie be damned, so long as the hottest girl in the free world is in it, boys of all ages will flock to it and spend their cash. I’ve no doubt this film will find itself on the tops of the leaderboard just because of that shallow reason.

Critical Movie Critic Rating:
3 Star Rating: Average


Movie Review: Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (2009)
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The Critical Movie Critics

I'm an old, miserable fart set in his ways. Some of the things that bring a smile to my face are (in no particular order): Teenage back acne, the rain on my face, long walks on the beach and redneck women named Francis. Oh yeah, I like to watch and criticize movies.

'Movie Review: Jennifer’s Body (2009)' have 4 comments

  1. The Critical Movie Critics

    September 20, 2009 @ 1:12 pm Notti

    Lousy movie. Megan Fox proves once again she is an untalented tramp.

  2. The Critical Movie Critics

    September 20, 2009 @ 4:44 pm General Disdain

    Notti –

    Those are some harsh words.

  3. The Critical Movie Critics

    September 21, 2009 @ 9:52 am Tom

    The movie only made $6.8M. Seems adolescent boys kept their cash in their pockets..

  4. The Critical Movie Critics

    October 3, 2010 @ 10:36 am CMrok93

    An enjoyable teen horror with terrific performances and a nice line in jet-black humor thanks to Diablo Cody’s excellent script. Nice Review, check out mine when you get a chance!

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