Movie Review: Georgia Rule (2007)

Chick flicks. They’re not my strong point. The old coming of age, sappy shit never played well with me. My therapist tells me it’s because I’m just not in touch with my feminine side. I tell him it’s because I’m a red-blooded American male and that he can go fuck himself. But on a lark, I figured it couldn’t hurt to sit through one of these movies. So along comes Georgia Rule. It’s perfect because it kills two birds with one stone; it’ll fill the void in my soul (sissy side) and it has three generations of hotties in it to satisfy my macho side: Jane Fonda, Felicity Huffman and Lindsay Lohan.

So which side was most satisfied? Not sure, but I’d have to say both sides were entertained. I was rather surprised the fluff wasn’t all motherly and mushy as I’d expected (although it does have it’s moments). It instead dealt head-on with some major issues — molestation, alcoholism and isolationism. Jane Fonda is Georgia the mother of Lilly (Felicity Huffman) who is the mother of Rachel (Lindsay Lohan). Rachel is an out of control brat (a promiscuous liar) who defies Lilly on everything, so she is sent packing for to Idaho for the summer to live with her grandmother. Georgia, is a no nonsense, old lady who lives by the Lord’s word, tends to push people away and runs her house on the hands of a stopwatch. Lilly is an alcoholic due to her inability to cope with situations (or life, depending on your viewpoint) and hates her mother because she wasn’t coddled as a child. Rachel, we find out, is out of control due to a stepdad (Cary Elwes) who liked to play doctor with her when she was a child. Yowsers, that was a mouthful.

The director, Garry Marshall tries his best to weave all these storylines into a cohesive movie and generally he succeeds. And it’s not necessarily because the writing is that good. It’s because he manages to get all-star performances from two of the three stars of Georgia Rule. Felicity Huffman, plays a convincing mother traumatized with guilt and shame. I actually wanted to give her a hug and slap to the face as she took me on an emotional roller coaster ride. But most impressive was the acting of little miss party girl herself — Lindsay Lohan. Her rebellious attitude and self-demeaning activities due to childhood anguish was very believable. I gathered she was able to draw from personal experience and, if that was the case, she put those experiences to good use. Congratulations to both actresses.

As for my raging testosterone side, it was appeased with the multitude of scenes in which Ms. Lohan was acting like the sexpot that she is. And luckily, in most of her screen time she is dolled up in clingy, revealing clothing. Her new slimmed down body is quite the sight to see and all those haters who think she needs to add a few pounds need to shut the hell up. Even Mrs. Macy (Huffman is married to William H. Macy) is showing plenty of midriff and legs in this. She too has a terrific figure and should look to show more of it! And all the sex talk and innuendos was just icing on the cake. Cold shower here I come.

The final word on Georgia Rule is it is movie worthy of viewing. It is obviously geared towards women and without a doubt they’ll get what they paid for. Coupled with the looks of the three actresses and the sexual connotations, men will find plenty of entertainment too. It’s a win-win situation for all.