I'm an old, miserable fart set in his ways. Some of the things that bring a smile to my face are (in no particular order): Teenage back acne, the rain on my face, long walks on the beach and redneck women named Francis. Oh yeah, I like to watch and criticize movies.
It’s been several years since anyone has mentioned Martin Scorsese in the same breath as Oscar. Yeah he was up for it with “The Aviator” in 2004 and “Gangs of New York” in 2003, but those snore fests were only nominated because everything else in the theaters sucked ostrich dick. This man gave us movies…
Ah, just what the doctor ordered. Another excuse to watch our favorite buxom blonde, Jessica Simpson, try to do something else she has no right to do. That’s right boys and girls, I mean acting. After all we already know she can’t sing or dance. Employee of the Month is aware of her shortcomings, so…
There are many individuals in this great big world of ours that I just don’t get. Those tree-hugging, liberal faggots; those war-mongering right-wing douchebags; folk singers; those fuckwad animal conservatory guys on the Discovery Channel, et al. People I really don’t understand are those fucking insane thrill seekers who will literally do anything for a…
Ahhh, the glorious days of college. Who could forget them? It’s when most men try and sleep with as many girls as possible, and for girls to find their future husbands. It’s when most men drink until they puke and when girls drink to forget about sleeping with your fat ass. Unfortunately for me, I…
It’s been a while since there has been a worthwhile feel-good movie released into the theaters. Last ones that come to mind are “Rudy,” “Lucas” and who can forget, “Rocky.” “Seabiscuit” doesn’t count. Interestingly enough, the plot of Invincible follows amazingly close to “Rocky.” A Philadelphia son, down on his luck (no money, no wife,…
Here we go again. Hollywood has once again decided to take a cheesy, campy 80’s TV show and upgrade it to the big screen. This time it isn’t “The Dukes of Hazzard,” “The Beverly Hillbillies” or “Bewitched,” it’s Miami Vice. And instead of Don Johnson and Philip Michael Thomas as Crockett and Tubbs, the detectives…
NASCAR. Who doesn’t love it? Seeing as it is the fastest growing “sport” in the nation, my guess is most everyone is loving it these days. To capitalize upon this, NASCAR authorized the making of Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby a comedy which stars Will Ferrell as, you guessed it, Ricky Bobby, a…
