Employee of the Month (2006) by The Critical Movie Critics

Movie Review: Employee of the Month (2006)

Ah, just what the doctor ordered. Another excuse to watch our favorite buxom blonde, Jessica Simpson, try to do something else she has no right to do. That’s right boys and girls, I mean acting. After all we already know she can’t sing or dance. Employee of the Month is aware of her shortcomings, so producers hope we’ll tune in just to see how good she looks. Being the man that I am — I’ll bite.

And what an asshole I am for it. I should have known the old bait and switch routine was in play. Ms. Simpson has a minor role — so all hopes of watching her tits throughout the movie were for naught. What works for the movie is comedy of Dane Cook (awesomely funny stand-up routines) and our favorite alum from “Punk’d,” Dax Shepard. Dane plays Zack a freeloading, skate-through-life, box boy who, because of utterly shallow reasons (wants to fuck Simpson), decides to become a model employee and man. On the other side of the fence Dax plays Vince, an extreme asshole head cashier who makes it his goal to win employee of the month every month and throw it in the face of all his co-workers. The barbs thrown between the two of these guys who take themselves too seriously at their deadend jobs (Vince actually thinks he has something good going) is at many times funny. Rounding out the burnouts without much luck are Andy Dick (how can’t you love him?) and Harland Williams (best work, “Sorority Boys”).

Unfortunately, the comedy jousting between Cook and Shepard isn’t enough to hold this ship afloat. The additions of Dick and Williams barely adds a life vest to this Titanic. The plot inconsistencies are too numerous to count. What I had hoped for was akin to “Office Space” with a hot chick (not much into Jennifer Aniston), but instead got a comedy that doesn’t get enough laughs and sure as shit doesn’t show enough of Simpson’s skin. Employee of the Month can be safely skipped without damage to ones’ psyche.

Critical Movie Critic Rating:
1 Star Rating: Stay Away


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The Critical Movie Critics

I'm an old, miserable fart set in his ways. Some of the things that bring a smile to my face are (in no particular order): Teenage back acne, the rain on my face, long walks on the beach and redneck women named Francis. Oh yeah, I like to watch and criticize movies.

'Movie Review: Employee of the Month (2006)' has 1 comment

  1. The Critical Movie Critics

    February 28, 2007 @ 10:56 am Nashtradomus

    I shall tell you who the target audience is at least for part of the movie, boys who have just discovered females. I watched this movie along with my uncle’s son who was just past puberty, in the introduction scene of Jessica Simpson where you could make out her nipples topographically displayed, I could hear him literally gasp.

    As a man in my 30’s, I have learnt to hold my breath and cross my legs when my jeans got tight, especially when sitting with my wife. It definitely was a Mt. Rushmore moment. Apart from that Jessica Simpson looked terrible with no real moments to comment about. She was an absolute waste of skin on this flick.

    That notwithstanding, there were plenty of stupid humor and observations about the way micro-anthropological events work in an employment setting. Overall, the laugh scenes were good in the initial stages of the movie and then fades into bolackness as the movie progress and especially when Dane Cook tries to be this guy with a new outlook to his existence other than slacking.

    If you got nothing better to do and tired of dating your right or left hand on a saturday afternoon, I would suggest to go kill your time watching this movie.

    I give this movie 5 piles of dog poop.

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