Miami Vice (2006) by The Critical Movie Critics

Movie Review: Miami Vice (2006)

Here we go again. Hollywood has once again decided to take a cheesy, campy 80’s TV show and upgrade it to the big screen. This time it isn’t “The Dukes of Hazzard,” “The Beverly Hillbillies” or “Bewitched,” it’s Miami Vice. And instead of Don Johnson and Philip Michael Thomas as Crockett and Tubbs, the detectives are “upgraded” by actors Colin Farrell and Jamie Foxx. However, other than the fact the TV show and movie share the same name, there aren’t any other similarities — which is a good and bad thing!

First the good. For a cop movie, Miami Vice doesn’t necessarily follow the typical cop buddy movies of late like “Lethal Weapon,” “Rush Hour” or “Bad Boys.” There aren’t any wisecracks or out of place moments. Instead it goes more old school — similar to a “Dirty Harry” flick; no nonsense, no comedy. The action sequences are well shot and riveting. The final climax ending with a shitload of gunfire is realistic and intense. Of course, I have to mention the scenery is pretty. It’s fucking Miami! Big houses, hot Latinas and sweet rides litter the film.

The ultimate problem with the movie, is the plot is thin as a sheet of paper. We aren’t given any insights into the Crockett and Tubbs partnership, nor are the characters built up individually. And when there are the moments of love and loss, I found myself not caring. The love scenes seemed to be inserted into the movie, simply to put a love scene in the movie. And trust me, in terms of love scenes, these suck ass. All the character “building” scenes are filler just to breakup the action sequences. Lastly, in action movies like this, the directors expect the viewer to suspend belief to get their point across. But are we really supposed to believe two Americans can so easily infiltrate a major South American drug cartel? I’m not a drug smuggler (if I were I’d be doing something other than this) but it was painfully obvious Crockett and Tubbs were cops. Painfully fucking obvious. I would have shot them dead the moment they acted like tough guys (which they do repeatedly throughout the movie).

In terms of buddy cop movies, Miami Vice certainly isn’t the best. But it certainly isn’t the worst. I’d be doing you a disservice telling you, you simply have to see this movie in theaters. However, in a month or two when this movie hits DVD store shelves I’d recommend renting it. There are worse ways to spend $3.00 (or whatever it costs to rent) . . .

Critical Movie Critic Rating:
3 Star Rating: Average


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The Critical Movie Critics

I'm an old, miserable fart set in his ways. Some of the things that bring a smile to my face are (in no particular order): Teenage back acne, the rain on my face, long walks on the beach and redneck women named Francis. Oh yeah, I like to watch and criticize movies.

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