Into The Blue (2005) by The Critical Movie Critics

Movie Review: Into The Blue (2005)

Quite honestly I can say, I had absolutely no interest in watching this movie. However, after hearing people fawn over Jessica Alba, I figured I’d give it a go. Luckily, I wasn’t disappointed . . .

Yeah, I know suddenly you’re thinking “You must have enjoyed the movie.” Wrong. I expected Into The Blue to be a piece of shit and I got a piece of shit. As a matter of fact, I got a worthless piece of shit. It is quite obviously true: Hollywood has run out of ideas for good movies.

For those who care, Into The Blue is an action adventure movie which follows a would-be treasure hunter (Paul Walker), his moral girlfriend (Jessica Alba) and a douchebag friend (Scott Caan) as they stumble across a shipwreck and a lost shipment of cocaine. Like I said, who gives a fuck? We all know what is going to happen. Douchebag friend convinces the moral that the cocaine can actually help them if they recover it. Of course all hell breaks loose when they do . . . yadda yadda yadda.

Yeah, I know your next question. “Isn’t there anything good about the movie?” Well I suppose. If you are a diver or have ever thought about diving, you’ll like the scenery. This movie, as the title eludes to, is in the water 3/4 of the time. Which leads us to the other good element of the movie. Jessica Alba is in a bikini for most of the flick. She ain’t the hottest piece of ass around, but seeing her with a wedgie, as she is playing Flipper for half the flick, almost makes this movie a worthwhile see. Almost.

So to make a long review short, Into The Blue is itself a shipwreck. One that no one is going to try and salvage . . .

Critical Movie Critic Rating:
1 Star Rating: Stay Away


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The Critical Movie Critics

I'm an old, miserable fart set in his ways. Some of the things that bring a smile to my face are (in no particular order): Teenage back acne, the rain on my face, long walks on the beach and redneck women named Francis. Oh yeah, I like to watch and criticize movies.

'Movie Review: Into The Blue (2005)' has 1 comment

  1. The Critical Movie Critics

    October 24, 2005 @ 10:28 am Cannabis Corpus

    Although,the frivilious plot is little more than an excuse to exploit the finely tuned, bronzed bodies of it’s young actors. This movie in essence was a snorefest.
    This film is, for the most part, as advertised.It is a visually stimulating morality tale played out in the shark-infested waters of the bahamas. Yes, Jessica Alba does spend half the movie in a two-piece. Opinions may vary on whether or not that is a good thing. Although, the varying opinions probably depend more on your gender than your taste. Critics may bemoan the one-dimensional performances of the lead actors here. But the film’s actors are not known for their range and the film never strives to be more than needs to be. Clearly, this film is not about superb acting. It IS about tanned, toned bodies, tight underwater action sequences, impressive underwater cinemetography and actors whose personalities are engaging enough to keep you interested when they are not in the water.
    So that was the good part, the rest I would not care to elaborate anything more than me taking a dump and smearing it across for 90 minutes. This movie stank and was predictive for the most part and no real plotline.
    I rate this movie C.

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