Movie Review: The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006)

Another day goes by and I find I need to put some filler into it, as it isn’t filled with nearly enough activity. So as usual I fire up some popcorn get a cold beverage and watch a movie. This time The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift is the starring title. By the way, I use starring very loosely.

For this review I’m going to be quick and blunt and spare you, the would-be viewer, any pain. And dread, like a buffet feels when it sees a bus full of fat fuckers pull up. And fear, like visting a dentist for a cleaning and then learning you need to have several root canals performed. And sorrow, like walking into a bedroom to find your best friend ass fucking your turtle.

The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift is worst fucking movie you will EVER see. Okay, maybe not the worst (there are some Japanese race-boys who may argue), but anyone with a clear head and at least a 7th grade education will agree. The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift is a terrible movie. Acting sucked. The plot has no consistency to it. I’m sure it was supposed to, but I couldn’t find any (I even looked under a few rocks).

But for the sake of allowing me to vent my aggravation, let’s dive into the movie. By the way, spoiler alert — if you even care.

We have an asshole, tough guy, high school student who loves to race so much he gets kicked out of multiple schools and turns his mother’s life inside out. So after his latest racing adventure (I’m supposed to believe his hunk of shit car will beat a Viper?) he is shipped to Japan to avoid going to jail (I am supposed to believe our court system works this way?) to live with his super strict, military father. So guess what happens? Day one, where his father gives him a curfew and tells him no racing, the kid races and comes home late. Shocker! And to top it off the kid gets mixed up with the yakuza — the Japanese mafia. It’s great to see the kid got his priorities straight and that his father is fine with it all. Shit, later after all the gun play and accidents on city streets, his dear old dad actually gives him a car to race in! I actually sat and shook my head at all the completely fucked up shit going on. Completely and utterly un-fucking-believable.

However, there is almost a bright spot! I found myself entranced by the soundtrack. Many of it is Japanese house/trance beats which I found myself paying more attention to than the movie. Oh yeah, if you like street racing, I suppose the “drifting” scenes aren’t too bad. However, the racing wasn’t up to par with the previous movies and I found most of them boring after watching the first race or two. Even with that minor glimmer of light this should be no surprise.

Critical Movie Critic Rating:
1 Star Rating: Stay Away


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The Critical Movie Critics

I'm an old, miserable fart set in his ways. Some of the things that bring a smile to my face are (in no particular order): Teenage back acne, the rain on my face, long walks on the beach and redneck women named Francis. Oh yeah, I like to watch and criticize movies.

'Movie Review: The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006)' have 5 comments

  1. The Critical Movie Critics

    July 21, 2007 @ 8:04 am just-4-teens

    this film was ok, but definatly the worst of the fast and the furious trilogy

  2. The Critical Movie Critics

    July 19, 2008 @ 4:43 am Fer

    I just saw this movie (3 hours ago) and yes…. piece of shit movie… Not worth to waste your time…. even the engine sounds are soo bad, always reaching the RPM cut??? Are this boys for real?? Nobody would set or drive an engine like this… and the mufflers sound like crap. It’s like a cartoon movie, but a bad and boring one.

  3. The Critical Movie Critics

    January 2, 2010 @ 7:25 am Continuing Ed

    I was curious to watch this movie but everything went in vein this movie is not worth watching the first one was an awesome start but this is not even matching the expectation. Tis is really a piece of crap sorry to say but cannot stop myself.

  4. The Critical Movie Critics

    January 6, 2010 @ 5:15 am Dental Ed

    I was excited for the movie but sorry to say It didn’t met my expectations. The roles and actions didn’t add up to the movie but actually degraded the over all quality. Not worth watching.

  5. The Critical Movie Critics

    October 22, 2011 @ 10:23 pm adam

    review guy if u paid attention to the movie u would see some of what u said is wrong
    1st. the girlfriend of the guy driver the viper said make it close
    2nd. “sean” didn’t go to court he was sent to japan because if he had gone to court he would have went to jail
    the movie isn’t as bad as u say u only dislike tokyo drift because paul walker isn’t in it and vin diesel is only in the last scene

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