I'm an old, miserable fart set in his ways. Some of the things that bring a smile to my face are (in no particular order): Teenage back acne, the rain on my face, long walks on the beach and redneck women named Francis. Oh yeah, I like to watch and criticize movies.
Hotel rooms suck. No matter how gaudy or pretty they’re made up, they still suck. I know this because I travel nearly every week and spend way too much of my time in them. My problem with them is I simply never quite know what has happened in the room prior to my stay and…
Hot off the heels (if you call four years later a quick turnaround) of the successful “Bruce Almighty,” Hollywood brings to us Evan Almighty.This time however, instead of Jim Carrey carrying the load, the baton has been handed off to the new funny man of cinema — Steve Carell. Unfortunately, the baton was dropped during…
Pixar and Disney are back. This time instead of talking dolls (“Toy Story”), talking fish (“Finding Nemo”) or talking cars (“Cars”), we’ve got talking rats. That’s right, those cute and cuddly carriers of the Bubonic Plague are the main characters in Ratatouille! Can Pixar transform rats into an animal that’s sweet and caring? Read on,…
Another penguin movie. First there was “March of the Penguins” and “Madagascar.” Then came “Happy Feet.” I swear to Christ, I’m going to have a nervous breakdown. Who in hell told advertisers and Hollywood that penguins are cute, adorable birds? News flash — they’re not. They’re ugly and mean. Anyways, obviously someone is laughing at…
Vampires. I don’t think there is a cooler, monstrous entity imagined. They’re immortal. They’re tough as nails. They drink blood. Can they be any more awesome? It sure can — Lucy Liu can be cast as a bloodsucker. Now they’re smokin’ hot. Rise: Blood Hunter puts them all together; what’s not to love? Well, let’s…
I hate documentaries. Let me qualify that a bit further — I hate Michael Moore documentaries. On a whole, my biggest gripe is that, although they do chronicle an event or a situation, they tend to present only one side of the story. And since I am on the other side of the political affiliation…
Lo and behold! Another third installment has hit the theaters! I barely recollect that there was an “Ocean’s Eleven” or that a sequel “Ocean’s Twelve” was made. So you can imagine my surprise when I’m suddenly smacked in the face by Ocean’s Thirteen. So here’s to hoping I can enjoy this movie without having had…
