I'm an old, miserable fart set in his ways. Some of the things that bring a smile to my face are (in no particular order): Teenage back acne, the rain on my face, long walks on the beach and redneck women named Francis. Oh yeah, I like to watch and criticize movies.
I like animation. Every Saturday I watch my morning cartoons (on the WB of all places!) Late at night I watch Cartoon Network to watch the crazy-ass anime imports. I am a true believer that watching this shit will keep you young at heart. Based on this I looked forward to watching the latest Hollywood…
Last night, the wife and I sat down expecting to get a good scare before going to bed. She had her popcorn. I had high hopes. Although, I wasn’t a huge fan of the first movie (it reminded me of the shitty scarefest “FearDotCom”), I figured The Ring Two would be better. After all, Hollywood…
Let’s begin by saying I like Bruce Willis. Always have. Any man that bagged Demi Moore is alright in my book. So I looked forward to checking out his latest movie Hostage. How can Hollywood screw up a movie that seems so similar to one of the greats: Die Hard? Movie starts off great. Motherfucker…
Every once in a while a movie comes along starring Will Smith that has the look of being good. Every once in a while that movie will actually be good. I am pleased to say that Hitch falls into the latter category. As you can tell I’m not a big fan of Will Smith. He…
Maybe you were like me and saw the hundreds of trailers on the television outlining a funny, good-hearted family film. Maybe you thought that movie had the possibility of being quite funny. What movie am I talking about? The Pacifier of course. I’ll admit it, in some confusing way, I was looking forward to seeing…
How is it possible to create a worse movie than “Alone in the Dark?” Easy, dump out a piling heap of shit and title it Elektra. Now let’s be realistic. I knew the movie was going to be a waste of time and money. I watched this movie for two reasons. One, it was free….
Ok, I’ll admit it, I went into Constantine thinking it was a pile of horseshit. Everyone I knew (and their mothers) claimed this movie sucked ass. “Shit movie,” and “Keanu Reaves can’t act,” are a few of the remarks I’ve heard. Although I can’t argue the latter opinion, I make a case on the first….
