Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005) by The Critical Movie Critics

Movie Review: Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith (2005)

I’ve finally given in. No, not to the dark side (unless of course you speak to my wife), rather I’ve finally given in and decided to watch Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith. After the first two prequel debacles (“Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace” and “Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones”), I was most weary to say the least.

Let’s start by saying Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith is definitely the climax of Star Wars franchise. This was undoubtedly the movie every dork, geek and wanna-be has been waiting for. Darth Vader is born. Even I had to see exactly how it happens, even if I basically knew the who/what/where and how.

Thankfully, George Lucas has abandoned the bulk of the shitfest love story he tried to put together in “Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones.” He realized his shortcomings and listened to the fanbase. Hell, quite frankly there isn’t a whole lot of acting going on in this movie, period. Unfortunately, where there is dialogue, the acting is bad. Hayden Christensen (Anakin Skywalker) is as bad of an actor as Ben Affleck is. Rigid, no emotional range. Natalie Portman (Padmé), whom I adore, once again puts forth a forgettable performance. There is no fucking way these two people are madly in love! My grandmother and I can generate more emotion than what was put to film.

Luckily for us though, this movie is built for action. Battles upon battle, fights upon fights make up the bulk of this movie. Ewan McGregor (Master Obi-Wan Kenobi), kicks the shit out of several Sith (you’ll love the last battle). Samuel L. Jackson (Master Mace Windu) finally earns his keep after he puts an ass-fuckin-whoopin’ on Supreme Chancellor Palpatine/Darth Sidious (played by Ian McDiarmid). Even our CGI buddy Yoda kicks some major ass. You won’t be disappointed by the turn of events. Most unanswered questions from “Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope,” “Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back,” and “Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi” are answered, and in most cases make some sort of sense.

There were things other than the acting I found annoying. It seemed every 20 seconds there was a fade to black cut scene. And not just a simple fade-outs either. Every type of fade was used in the movie: Horizontal left/right, vertical up/down, block and circular (among others) was used. You’d think George Lucas never used a camera before and wanted to see what all those nifty effects were! Also I found myself aggravated by just how quickly Anakin Skywalker turns to the “Dark Side.” It literally happens like a flick of a switch. It just seemed so obvious that Supreme Chancellor Palpatine/Darth Sidious was talking out of his asshole the whole time, that I found it incredulous that Anakin believed him.

That aside, Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith definitely delivers what it promised. Jedi fights, blossoming evil (Darth Vader) and few love scenes. If you are a fan of the Star Wars empire than I would 100% recommend seeing this film (you probably already have ten times by now). For those of you on the fence, I’d recommend this movie above the rest of the saga except “Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi.” See the movie and enjoy it for what it is, the final piece of a great story.

Critical Movie Critic Rating:
4 Star Rating: Good


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The Critical Movie Critics

I'm an old, miserable fart set in his ways. Some of the things that bring a smile to my face are (in no particular order): Teenage back acne, the rain on my face, long walks on the beach and redneck women named Francis. Oh yeah, I like to watch and criticize movies.

'Movie Review: Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith (2005)' has 1 comment

  1. The Critical Movie Critics

    May 31, 2005 @ 2:11 pm UChewMe

    The defining moment in George Lucas’s entire “Star Wars” canon occurs in 1980’s “The Empire Strikes Back,” when Darth Vader slices off Luke Skywalker’s right hand and tells him he’s Luke’s father. All that Luke has trained for — to be the chosen Jedi knight who defeats the Dark Lord of the Sith — comes crashing down around his ears.
    After battles on sunny grassfields, a child blasting half a space fleet to pieces, and an annoying battle scene with a bunch of flies in a stadium, Lucas taps the dark side to tell a story about good vs. evil that is far more intricate and intense than any of the other movies, the originals included.
    Hail to the Sith!
    It’s not only because the ongoing conflict of the galaxy is now portrayed in a magnificent display of CGI, but every scene is motivated by a reasonable political motivation or personal emotion. This film lives. It has life, death, but most of all it has moral ambiguity.
    As the story unfolds, you can relate to each character and understand the reason behind their actions and emotions. You continuosly watch these people acting in a belief that they are doing the “right” thing in the name of love, passion, and justice. You can sense their pains, misery, and fear. It clearly shows how people justify their actions based on what they believe is true, and how the result of their actions become further proof to support their existing believes. The idea that there is definitive “right” or “wrong” that, if respected, would shield us from disaster is clearly proved wrong with this movie, and it reminds you that “right” and “wrong” is in the eye of the beholder.
    Lucas is also doing a great job with answering any last questions we had regarding who, how and why with episodes 4, 5, and 6. After two and a half hours of action scenes, political mind games, and hoping for a tiny break in these characters’ lives, you are left with a sense of loss and a need for going home and quickly watch the original triolgy to cleanse yourself and create balance in “the force.”
    In terms of eye-candy action fare, “Revenge” has its battling high points. There’s an exciting Obi-Wan clash with the skull-faced General Grievous, a separatist military leader, for instance. And the light saber mano a mano between Obi-Wan and Anakin, as they try not to be swallowed by a volcanic river underneath them, makes a thrilling fight.
    But the movie’s characters — as they are written, as they are cast and as they are performed — detract from the movie’s high purpose. As Anakin/Darth, Christensen is simply not compelling. Dark prince of the universe? Those Jedi knights ought to take him over their collective knees and spank him with light saber paddles until he gets over himself.
    As Amidala, Portman can’t be faulted for a good college try. But she’s too often reduced to a sobbing spectacle, as she whimpers and wah-wahs over her husband’s moral disintegration. The story only gives her lip-service empowerment, as she struggles to get him back. (Perhaps this is to make sure Christensen doesn’t get overshadowed.) McGregor makes a likable Obi-Wan, but with that silly posh accent he’s forced to affect, he’s a Wan imitator of his predecessor (or narratively speaking, his later self), Sir Alec Guinness. Gravitas was always going to be a tough thing to pull off for these three principals, who are essentially kiddie pawns in Lucas’s giant, computer-generated chess game. But if there was a chance to break out, none has grabbed that light saber.
    Overall this movie was an experience to watch and does leave you thinking about it much later after the movie is done. I rate this movie an A.

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