The Skeleton Key (2005) by The Critical Movie Critics

Movie Review: The Skeleton Key (2005)


We’ve all seen the advertisements of the The Skeleton Key telling would-be movie watchers that ‘this movie is as good as “The Sixth Sense”‘ and asking people to not ‘spoil the ending.’ So, as most of mindless America, I bit the hook and and let them reel me in.

In a nutshell the movie casts Kate Hudson as a hospice nurse who goes to backwoods Louisiana to take care of a man who has recently had a stroke. During her stay, she becomes aware of some strange voodoo type shit happening and all hell breaks loose . . . of course.

The movie has a few good things going for it. Kate Hudson, is indeed pleasing on the eyes. There are plenty of scenes with her in wet t-shirts and little nighties. They needed to do that to offset her acting, which is just plain boring. The plot of the movie isn’t so bad either. I wouldn’t call The Skeleton Key a psychological thriller, but the movie does try to keep the viewer guessing as to what is going on and what is going to happen. For the most part it succeeds and the ending does indeed cause a bit of an “A-HA” moment.

Mostly, however, the movie runs on the fumes of most B-level horror movies. Just add in lots of dark scenes, add a pinch of thunderstorms and touch of the occult and — voila! — you’ve just created a scary movie. The problem is the scares and/or moments of heightened awareness are few and far between. There are also quite literally a dozen times, I said to my wife, “Why doesn’t this girl just leave the fucking place?” Movies like that just totally baffle me.

So, the question of the hour is, “Should you shell out the cash, you now need to pay for gas, on this movie?” In a word “No.” The ending of The Skeleton Key will surprise most individuals, but it just isn’t enough to make one want to see the whole thing. Wait for the DVD or give me a call and I’ll tell you what happens.

Critical Movie Critic Rating:
3 Star Rating: Average

3

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The Critical Movie Critics

I'm an old, miserable fart set in his ways. Some of the things that bring a smile to my face are (in no particular order): Teenage back acne, the rain on my face, long walks on the beach and redneck women named Francis. Oh yeah, I like to watch and criticize movies.


'Movie Review: The Skeleton Key (2005)' have 6 comments

  1. The Critical Movie Critics

    September 7, 2005 @ 9:51 pm YuChuMi

    OK, I saw the trailer for this movie a while ago and couldn’t wait to see it. I thought this was going to be awesome. One of those movies that freak you out, but no..
    If you’re looking for a horror movie, Skeleton Key is not your best bet. Skeleton Key is nothing more than a suspense thriller with supernatural overtones in wolf’s clothing. Most of the so called ‘scares’ involve mysterious figures walking by, people popping up behind our heroine when the audience doesn’t expect it, and rattling doors.
    Because the content of the film itself is more unsettling than actually pulse pounding, the composer over-dramatizes every little action, making even approaching the house sound like a climactic, terrifying scene. Dramatic string insruments are fine when used in select areas, but not when splashed around so liberally that they lose all effect.
    As the story unfolds, it is played as a mystery but the “twist” ending either makes or breaks the movie. In this case, I liked the ending which elevated it above other mediocre efforts this year, but this is (again) not for all taste. I may trod too slowly for some and there are no real scares until the end, but for a haunting mystery with a Twilight Zone type ending this is worth a look. Personally I thought this movie would have been a washout if not for the presence of Kate Hudson and some excellent acting by Gena Rowlands.
    I rate this movie B-.

  2. The Critical Movie Critics

    September 10, 2005 @ 8:22 pm Mr. Slate

    What exactly did Kate Hudson bring to the table other than mildly looking good? After all, I think we can both agree that she can’t act particularly well. . .

  3. The Critical Movie Critics

    September 13, 2005 @ 9:21 am YuChuMi

    I don’t care what she brought to the table. She was better than watching an old dying fart naked in the tub or aunt Agony with a butcher’s knife.

  4. The Critical Movie Critics

    September 13, 2005 @ 9:10 pm Mr. Slate

    You said previously that the movie would have been a washout if not for Kate Hudson’s presence. Therefore, it is indeed apparent you do care what she brought to the table. So I ask you once again, “What exactly did Kate Hudson bring to the table other than mildly looking good?”

  5. The Critical Movie Critics

    September 14, 2005 @ 10:55 am YuChuMi

    If you insist, she brought in some pretty tight fitting whites, a bare back and a glimpse of partially seen tit.

  6. The Critical Movie Critics

    September 14, 2005 @ 2:12 pm Mr. Slate

    So as long as we agree that the ONLY thing she brought to the film was her ‘not too bad, not too good’ looks.

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