With the memory of 2002’s “Van Wilder” still swirling in my head — okay not really swirling, but every now and again I think of that scene where the frat guy (Daniel Cosgrove) is eating the doughnuts filled with dog semen. And each time I think of it, a freaky chill runs up my spine and a horrible gag reflex comes to light. So with that in mind, I had to see if Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj will even come remotely close to the original.
And you guessed it, it doesn’t even come close. Instead, I swear, I was watching a lousy remake of “Revenge of the Nerds!” The similarities are endless (here are just a few) — guys thrust into a dork/nerd house/frat, king dork wants to and ultimately does fuck the prom queen and instead of the Greek games needing to be won to take a seat in the University, the Hastings Cup is has to be won. And trust me there are more. The quirkiness and dare I say originality of the original “Van Wilder” are totally lost.
That’s not to say the entire movie is a waste. Kal Penn, who plays the title character Taj Mahal Badalandabad, is a funny fucker. There is something about having a little foreign fucker trying like hell to get over on the man and fuck the pretty girl. Here he continues his absurdity that I’ve missed since “Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle” (even though I thought the movie sucked). Another plus of the movie, is the plus of all National Lampoon movies — a steady diet of gracious nudity of cute, young girls. I’ve yet to see a Lampoon movie without girls with well shaped titties running around. Thank you, National Lampoon for keeping frivolous nudity alive!
Other than that, the jokes in Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj are old and tired. The plot, as said previously, is a carbon copy of a movie it couldn’t hope to compare with. And it should go without saying, if the main actor from the original movie refuses to even have a cameo appearance (Ryan Reynolds is nowhere to be found), then you can safely bet the movie isn’t worth the cost of stamping a U.S. penny. Actually, I think it’s a little worse than that, but I can’t think of anything cheaper . . .