I'm an old, miserable fart set in his ways. Some of the things that bring a smile to my face are (in no particular order): Teenage back acne, the rain on my face, long walks on the beach and redneck women named Francis. Oh yeah, I like to watch and criticize movies.
Let’s call it now. There are only two reasons anyone has heard anything about I Know Who Killed Me. One, it stars Lindsay Lohan, who everyone knows is a figure of tabloid fodder due to her indulgence in the finer drugs available. Two, it stars Lindsay Lohan and she plays an exotic dancer. I saw…
Feeling old? Need a feel good about yourself, quirky kind of movie to raise your spirits? Never fear, Hollywood claims they have something for you (don’t they always?). It comes in the form of the upcoming film: I Could Never Be Your Woman. Will it help you to put the bottle of scotch and sleeping…
18 years since its FOX premiere (19 or 20 if you count the spots on “The Tracey Ullman Show”), America’s favorite dysfunctional family comes to the silver screen in none other than The Simpsons Movie. I’d, at most, call myself a casual fan of the cartoon — I haven’t watched it religiously for many, many…
Leave to Adam Sandler and his Happy Madison Productions production company to find another ridiculous premise to bring to the cinema. Instead of a retarded football player (“The Waterboy”), a freaky little man-whore (“Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo”) or a morally corrupt child actor (“Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star”) we get male fire fighters pretending to…
Hairspray is an updated compilation of the John Waters classically campy film and the award winning Broadway musical (both of the same name). And while I very much liked the original (at least what I can recall of it), I had my reservations about the remake. That’s because remakes usually suck. Thankfully, from the moment…
I’m sure I’ve said it before somewhere at some time — I may be the biggest fan of teen angst movies. Yeah, they’re not going to win any awards, but as I get older, I love reliving my youth through them. It’s a small pleasure. Plus, they usually have lots of naked girls running around…
Can you spell low budget? I can. It’s spelled D-I-A-M-O-N-D D-O-G-S. For those that are having a problem understanding that, I spelled: Diamond Dogs. As everyone knows between screening the monstrous blockbusters all the time, I’ve got to give back to the community now and again. I do that by watching movies no one will…
