I'm an old, miserable fart set in his ways. Some of the things that bring a smile to my face are (in no particular order): Teenage back acne, the rain on my face, long walks on the beach and redneck women named Francis. Oh yeah, I like to watch and criticize movies.
Four times Paul W.S. Anderson has taken viewers on the same ride. At times a mildly entertaining ride, mind you, but one that always dons his wife, Milla Jovovich, in skin tight clothing raising arms against zombies and the secretive Umbrella Corporation responsible for said zombies. To expect something different from him and his fifth…
I’ve got one burning question: Why wasn’t there a Big Wet Water Park in the tri-state area during my formative years? You know the kind that objectifies women and follows the tried and true path pioneered by strip clubs. The kind that is a sanctuary for college-aged girls to drink and consume drugs at, frolic…
What can really be said about Ice Age: Continental Drift that hasn’t been said before? Not a heck of a lot since, this being the fourth installment of the successful franchise, it follows the same predictable story arc as it predecessors, ending up basically in the same place — ready for another sequel. This go…
Picture it — a grizzled veteran cop showing the ropes to a rookie is tasked with solving a brutal murder of a young Hollywood starlet. Few clues were left at the scene, save for a red chip with the cursive letter “H” imprinted upon it — a calling card of the killer. A week later,…
You’re probably a lot like me thinking you’d come up with some bat shit crazy ideas if a production company were to come to you and say, “We’ll finance your movie, no matter how outrageous, no questions asked.” Without constraints, maybe you’d throw in a scene involving an older woman jamming anal beads up a…
Alice is an unflattering name for a woman. It’s not, however, nearly as bad as Claire is. For me, Claire conjures up an image of a sad, homely girl whiling away the hours, in a rocker, crocheting a sweater. It is, therefore, a fitting name then for the boy-haircut having, wearing the same dull clothes…
There are several factoids I learned after watching The Wicker Tree, the 39 years in the making sequel to cult favorite “The Wicker Man.” For one, nuclear power plants make all men who drink or bathe in its cooling source sterile (although on the flip side it also grants them the gift of being able…
