Pretty Cool Too (2007) by The Critical Movie Critics

Movie Review: Pretty Cool Too (2007)

I usually avoid reviewing movies that go straight to the video counter at the local Blockbuster. There’s a reason they don’t get a theatrical release and why I don’t waste my time watching them — 98% of the time they suck ass. But with a little downtime and the need for a mindless teen movie (none playing at the cinema), I sat and watched Pretty Cool Too. I’m no better for it.

I’m not sure if there is actually a plot for Pretty Cool Too and I’m not sure it really needs one. Here’s the basics of it: This nerdy kid Walter (Eric Fagundes) lives next door to a nerdy girl Agatha (Julia Lehman) and to a reality television show house which houses five PlayPen girls. His parents give him a new phone called Genie (original, eh), which after a freak lightning storm, can control the actions of people. Of course after learning of this power, Walter uses it for his own selfish purposes — mainly getting girls naked.

Now, I sure as shit can’t review this movie on any of the typical artistic merits, you know things like: acting, writing, direction, etc. Pretty Cool Too isn’t going to win any awards and it wasn’t meant to. It’s all about pushing as much tits and ass onto the screen for any reason whatsoever. And to this end, it does a more than adequate job. The movie starts with a nice silicon set and every ten minutes or so it gets another pair onto screen for your viewing pleasure. In between those ten minutes, just to keep your interest piqued, the conversations are filled with sexual innuendos. I’ve also got to applaud the writers because I’ve never seen a movie (not counting porn) with so many girls faking orgasms — they’re all doing it.

And speaking of girls, Pretty Cool Too has got some eye candy. They’re basically a bunch of nobodies trying to make a living but hey, I don’t discriminate. Angela Dodson plays Brittany, the girlfriend of Walter’s brother Dave (James Ferris). She’s got a smoking body and from a few of the scenes, she shows she knows how to move it. The phone genie of course takes on an beautiful identity in the form of Brandi Williams. Only problem is she doesn’t bare any skin. Poor us. I was however, pleasantly surprised that Walter’s dorky love interest Julia Lehman, took her top off. She doesn’t compare with the other beach babes prancing around the flick, but she certainly gets props for putting out there.

There was one major aggravation I had with the movie. I simply felt that Walter didn’t even come close to scratching the surface of making his wishes come true. Using the phone so a girl farts when she acts sexy or having another girl hiccup when she lies is pathetic. Any horny kid would have been wishing to fuck every moving thing possible. A house full of PlayPan girls? They would have been first on my list as I aimed towards Wilt Chamberlain’s mark of 20,000+ sexual encounters.

For what it’s worth, Pretty Cool Too shines where it is supposed to — nudity and more nudity. It would have been a bit more enjoyable, if there was even a semblance of a plot that made any sense. No matter what though, horny, prepubescent boys will love this movie. So will Kleenex. When you’re done with this I recommend seeing “Hardbodies.” It is the ultimate skin flick and will provide to you additional reasons to spend time in the bathroom with the water running.

Critical Movie Critic Rating:
3 Star Rating: Average


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The Critical Movie Critics

I'm an old, miserable fart set in his ways. Some of the things that bring a smile to my face are (in no particular order): Teenage back acne, the rain on my face, long walks on the beach and redneck women named Francis. Oh yeah, I like to watch and criticize movies.

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