Movie Review: Next (2007)

Let me start of by saying that the most memorable part of Next is Nicholas Cage’s hair. I kept thinking of the Nick Nolte mug shot when he got caught for DUI. My main reason to go watch this movie was for Jessica Biel but I just ended up wasting some $10 on a ticket and a bag of cold popcorn. Additionally, knowing the director Lee Tamahori (Die Another Day, xXx: State Of The Union), I thought this would be a good action flick to watch. Well there was action, but nothing that could save this irritatingly pointless mindfuck from surfacing. This movie is riddled with loopy logic and plot holes and not to forget incredibly bad dialogue.

Cris Johnson (Nic Cage) is a Las Vegas magician who actually has the ability to look into the future. Not the distant future, but one that is limited to two minutes ahead in time. This super ability works well when playing poker or figuring which slot machine to insert the coin into. It’s also useful in keeping Cris out of harm’s way by avoiding a bullet or by stepping the other way to avoid collision. It’s a sweet deal but it has it’s drawbacks. Counter terrorist Agent Callie Ferris (Julianne Moore) is in charge of locating a nuclear bomb somewhere in South California before it can detonate and kill millions. Ferris believes Cris is the answer to her problem of figuring out where the bomb is and when it will blow off. Exactly, even I rolled my eyes!!

Meanwhile, Cris has been plagued by visions of a young hottie sitting in a coffee shop. He doesn’t know why she keeps popping up in his dreams, but his instincts tell him, he has to meet her. The “her” turns out to be a girl named Liz (Jessica Biel), a school teacher heading out of Vegas to meet family in Flagstaff. Of course, Liz says yes to Cris’s request to hitch a ride with her and no to Agent Ferris. But circumstances change and Cris is the only agent on this God’s green planet to stop the bomb from going off. How fucking cool, NOT! Well the rest I leave you guys to either watch this horrid movie and know the details or play dead and move on.

The bottomline, Next sucks ass. It is comprised of piss poor lines and not so bad acting by Nic Cage and Jessica Biel. However, Julianne Moore was intolerable with her exceptionally disgusting dialogues and not so convincing acting. There are couple of terrific action sequences including ghost-Cages roaming the hallways. The story does not make sense on so many levels. The longer you sit on through this movie, the more frustrating it is to watch — so much so that I suggest you say “next” when offered a ticket to see this.

About: Nashtradomus Writing movie reviews is beneath me. I do it now and again to remember what it is like to feel like a commoner.